Bitch is Still Toxic

March 10, 2007 / Posted by:

Yoga is the reason Jennifer Aniston has quit smoking and is completely off caffeine. She claims that twisting herself into a fugly pretzel is the reason she doesn’t need to fill her lungs with smoke anymore.

A source said, “Jen was doing a total cleansing. I had a Diet Coke on-set and she was really jonesing for it!”

Jen was spotted in NYC this past week and still looks like an annoying bitch. It’s going to take more than Smart water to banish the whinyness from her blood stream.

Ugh, the way she wears her jeans bother me so much. Does she look at fashion magazines? It’s not 1996 anymore and you aren’t playing Rachel Green anymore!



Sharon’s Big O

March 10, 2007 / Posted by:

Sharon Stone must really love the Ivy. She’s been there a few times in the past weeks. I think she likes the attention more than anything. I forgive her and she’s still a hot mess.

That’s totally what Nicole Richie is going to look like sans the tits in like 2 years.


Madge Gets Nipped and Tucked

March 10, 2007 / Posted by:

Madonna confessed to Nip/Tuck creator, Ryan Murphy, that she is a huge fan of the show and she’s agreed to guest star. Ryan is currently writing a role for her and she desperately wants to star opposite her pal, Rosie O’Donnell, who has already guest starred on the show.

Ryan said, “I’m going to write something for Madonna, who is a fan of the show and I would love for her to do something with Rosie.”

Nicole Kidman and Sandra Bullock are other big names that are in talks to guest star on the show when the action moves from Miami to Los Angeles next season.

In other Madonna news, one of her former nannies is shopping around a tell-all. Melissa Dumas worked for Madge during 2005 and details all her specific rules. Some of the hag one’s rules include absolutely no noise while she’s sleeping including running shower water, no newspapers, magazines or TV at all. That’s it? Please, that’s nothing and sounds like a bore.

I don’t like hos to shower while I”m sleeping either, that makes me have to pee and I’m way past pissing in the bed. Ok….almost past it. I swear.

– Madge’s wax figures looks about 20. I don’t think bitch has ever looked like that young! Even when she was a damn fetus!

Source, Source


Birthday Sluts

March 10, 2007 / Posted by:

Cristian de la Fuente (33)
Olivia Wilde (23)
Carrie Underwood (24)
Page Brewester (38)
Jasmine Guy (43)
Prince Edward (43)
Neneh Cherry (44)
Sharon Stone (49)
Osama bin Laden (50)
Shannon Tweed (50)
Paul Haggis (54)
Chuck Norris (67)


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