Not since international supermodel Phoebe Price, has an inanimate object from the streets of Los Angeles captured your votes to become Hot Slut of the Month! I mean, a fucking abandoned couch!

Anyway, Abanonded Couch received 50% of your votes and beat out a bunch of bitches who don’t really matter right now. I hope AC goes into an Olan Mills studio soon, because I’m sick of seeing the same picture of it!

Thanks to all you stoners who voted!

Vintage Alba with a little pubic beard – IDLYITW

Scary Spice’s awkward lingerie pictures – Hollywood Tuna

Pepaw Clooney goes topless in Puerto Rico – Popsugar

Hef’s new twins are fuglier than I thought – Egotastic!

Tara Reid goes to the dentist to get all the jizz crust blasted off her teeth – Hollywood Rag

Randy Spelling and his gorgeous girlfriend (site NSFW) – Drunken Stepfather

Banksy’s hot “mock pet store” – Towleroad

Jude Law has more hair on his face than on his head – Just Jared

Why waste your booze money on buying a Halloween costume when you can make your own? – Cityrag

Courtney Cox has “tried” Botox before – Lainey Gossip

The greatest mother who ever walked the face of this earth breastfeeds one of her twin messiahs on the cover of November’s W Magazine. It was shot by the greatest father in the entire universe.

It’s funny that this simple black and white picture probably made a thousand Brangaloonies drop dead on the spot. W should make at least ten million copies of this for the Brangaloonies that are still alive and will use these pictures to cover their cars, homes, children and pets.

And the word “private” should never be used in the same sentence as the names “Brad Pitt” and “Angelina Jolie.”

That picture-perfect Hollywood couple may want to have their hunky friend walk a little further behind them. Word’s getting around that he’s the actor’s boyfriend, but apparently the actress is cool with it. (Blind Gossip via Gawker)

All of them! Could be Tommy & Katie or Will & Jada? Or maybe Portia & Ellen? Does Rojo hang around them?

Whose friends are begging her to go back to rehab? This over-35 celeb was sober for a long time, but she has started drinking again and can’t seem to restrain herself from picking up every young boy in town. She thinks her random hook-ups are funny, and prove to her ex that she has moved on. Her friends, however, think that her activities are desperate, creepy, and downright dangerous. (Blind Gossip)

Jenny Aniston or Nicollette Sheridan?

Think Jessica Simpson and Kim Kardashian are the only ones with boyfriends? Well, I think you are forgetting about one very important C+ actor on a hit network drama who leaves his wife and kids every weekend to go cheer on his boyfriend who is on an NFL west coast team. (CDAN)

Please let it be Christopher Meloni…..

52-year-old Maverna Theresa Turay of Bradenton, FL was arrested at her home yesterday because she poured a pot of boiling hot water on her husband’s crotch area! Maybe she was in the mood for some hot dick?

Maverna told police that she thinks her husband has been cheating on her ass, so she busted a hot load on his groin while he slept. She also admitted that she had been boozing before the incident. Maverna didn’t need to say that. Her glazed eyes already confirmed that little tidbit.

She was charged with aggravated domestic battery. Her husband is in fair condition at a local hospital.

Maverna didn’t let a little thing called “getting arrested” get in the way of a hot mug shot. This is how you do it. Yes, Maverna knows that she’s about to spend the night on the concrete floor of a jail cell, where prostitutes and junkies will probably try and sit on her face. She knows all of this, but she’s going to smile for her mug shot like she means it.

Nothing says “I burned my husband’s dick and I don’t give an eff” like a smiley mug shot.

Source

Thanks Athina

Keep running, Suri! Don’t stop. Run away from the barley water, the shoe lifts, the word “glib,” and Johnny Travolta’s dead cat wig. Run away from all of it and don’t look back. Don’t fret about Stepford Katie. She’ll follow you. That’s what she’s best at.

Unfortunately, Suri didn’t run off into the sunset. Oh well, maybe she’s just training like JLo in “Enough.” I bet she spends her nights boxing and making fake IDs. She’ll make a break for it soon.

Suri and Katie actually looked happy while skipping around the East Village in NYC yesterday. They were smiling because that big girl Tommy wasn’t around. And it looks like Suri has graduated from the bottle! Now only ten more years to go before Tommy allows her to drink from regular cups.