It’s Them Again

/ October 14, 2008

When Jenny Aniston and John Mayer were eating each other’s pussies, the paparazzi and media were always on him. But when they split up, they no longer gave a rhino’s dick about him. So John was feeling a little lonely and decided to remind everyone who he is by calling up Jenny. When Jenny saw his name come up on her caller ID as “Baby Daddy Option #23,” she immediately answered with “YES!” It doesn’t matter what John was going to ask, because she was going to say “yes” no matter what.

Well, that “yes” might have led to them hanging out in NYC. The National Enquirer reports that the two had “secret dates” in NYC before getting on a plane together yesterday. A source said they were all kissing and shit on the plane. Thankfully, there were plenty of barf bags on the plane.

The source said, “They were very lovey-dovey. They kissed several times and hugged each other tightly. John gave her a long, lingering kiss.

Long and lingering? Okay, Jen wrote this shit herself. You know she writes romance novels with her as the star. I’m surprised the source didn’t say, “John got on knee, kissed her gorgeous feet, told her she was the most beautiful women in the world. Even more beautiful than that skank’s name who rhymes with Crangie Ho. And then he proposed and Jen said she’d think about it because she’s an ‘independent woman’ now. You hear that, Maddox? She doesn’t need a man!

This works out for Jen and John. He stays relevant for another week. And she doesn’t look like a total cat lady with dry vagina while the Brangelina holy family flaunts their perfectness in the pages of W Magazine. Okay, she still does, but at least she’s trying! Maddox probably texted her, “NC TRY BTCH!!1!!

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

/ October 14, 2008

Larry B. Scott – Larry played Lamar Latrell in Revenge of the Nerds 1-4. Lamar is the gay and loving it frat member who is skilled at everything from javelin throwing to rapping to breakdancing. Below is a clip featuring just some of Lamar’s skills. Skip to about the 1:00 mark to see him in action.

For Dana

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Birthday Sluts

/ October 14, 2008

Lori Petty (45)
Usher (30)
Stacy Keibler (30)
Natalie Maines (35)
Jon Seda (38)
Steve Coogan (43)
Karyn White (43)
Isaac Mizrahi (47)
Thomas Dolby (50)
Justin Hayward (62)
Udo Kier (64)
Ralph Lauren (70)
Roger Moore (81)

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Eva Is A Zero

/ October 13, 2008

Eva LongWHORIA is still yammering about how she piled on a little chunk to play a frumpier Gaby on “Desperate Housewives.” Last month, she even said on French TV that she wasn’t pregnant, she was “just fat.”

In the new issue of Allure, Eva once again says she’s not knocked up. She also said that even though she gained a little lard, she never changed sizes. Eva opened her OBESE mouth and said, “I never went up a size! I just got rounder. I’m still a size 0.

Somebody should tell this queef bag that her IQ matches her dress size. While you’re at it, tell Eva her talent level also matches her dress size. She’s a zero all-around!

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Beyonce Has ANOTHER Video

/ October 13, 2008

Beyonce barely released a video for that “If I Had A Peen” song and she’s already put out another one. That’s how she operates. Her upcoming album will probably be a box set of 8 CDs and 4 DVDs. Beyonce will release a single and video every week for the next 2 years. Daddy Knowles stretches that shit out.

Beyonce’s new video is for some shit called “Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It).” Bitch needs to put a lid on it.

The video looks like it was shot down in Solange’s basement in about 20-minutes. It would have taken 10, but Solange kept running in and ruining the shot. They finally had to handcuff her to the radiator.

I feel like Beyonce’s body was going through some shit while dancing in this video. It looks like she’s trying to make a baby with herself. It’s her “I’m going to shimmy that sperm to my egg” dance.

Don’t ask me what that robot arm is about. I bet Solange made that shit for herself using old lawnmower parts and Beyonce stole it!

And thanks to reader Andrew for pointing out that Beyonce jacked this shit from the FosseMexican Breakfast” bitches. Beyonce doesn’t even come close to being as hot as these hos. She needs to watch this video below and try again!

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