Maureen McCormick also wondered why her Cocks In The Box art exhibit flopped but realized it was because OF THE SYPHILLIS. – Oxygen

Runners-up:

Even as a child, Clay Aiken had to play with his meat before he swallowed it. – Clarisse

I was proud my cat won the hotdog eating contest until I realized he did it by not chewing – CMAC

Thanks Laura

Norwood Young – The self-proclaimed “Ambassador of Love!” Norwood is a singer, socialite, sexy piece and um….well….I think that’s it. He also has one of the straightest hairlines I have ever seen. I think that’s the only straight thing about him. Below is one of Norwood’s first videos. THE HAIR= Amazing. He’s the new Beyonce.

Tanya Roberts (53)
Keyshia Cole (27)
Ginuwine (33)
Dominic West (39)
Vanessa Marcil (40)
Eric Benet (42)
Todd Solondz (49)
Emeril Lagasse (49)
Sarah Ferguson (49)
Mia Nair (51)
Tito Jackson (55)
Penny Marshall (65)
Linda Lavin (71)

It’s time for another Vadge and Guy Ritchie are divorcing rumor! This time it’s for real……possibly…….maybe…..well….according to The Sun. They have swore on a stack of hotel bibles that Vadge’s spokeswhore already has the divorce statement in their hands, ready to be released. I hope it’s nice and simple. Something like, “WE QUIT THIS BITCH!”

A source said that they are finally going public with their split because basically they can’t fucking stand each other anymore. They fight about everything from adopting another baby to moving to New York to her dick being bigger than his.

Vadge, who is currently on her “Dry & Sour” tour, originally wanted to wait until next year when her tour ends. Her divorce to Guy has now been fast tracked to be finalized by Christmas. Merry Christmas! It also would have been their 8th wedding anniversary. Happy Anniversary!

The loud mouth bitch who spilled the beans said that Guy stopped filming on “Sherlock Holmes” to fly to his parent’s house and tell them about the divorce in person. This week he plans to move all his of his stupid shit out of Vadge’s London dungeon and move into the house he owns in Wiltshire.

This past summer, Vadge and Guy denied the rumors that their marriage was crumbling into the toilet like a dehydrated butt nugget. Vadge also denied she was bumping roided-up buttholes with A-Rod.

Again, we’ve heard this shit all before, so take this with a grain of ass dust. It wouldn’t be shocking if it turned out to be true. It sounds like they lost that lovin’ feeling a long ass time ago. It was probably around the same time that Vadge’s buff bagina swallowed Guy’s nutsack whole. Guy keeps stroking that area, hoping they will grow back. Sorry, Guy, they’re never coming back. They’re gone, just like your marriage.

Visit The Sun to read all the details if you give an eff.

You might want to turn down the brightness on your monitor before going through these pictures of Xtina at the Africa Rising Festival in London tonight. I am pleased to see that her face is back to being completely covered in MAC semen. Sometimes looking natural is so overrated. With that face full of drag paint, I’m sure Xtina constantly gets random dudes asking her if she would tea-bag them for $10. I bet that doesn’t happen to you. Don’t be jealous.

Xtina’s “Barbie Make Me Pretty” face isn’t the problem with this look, it’s that fucking top! That thing is giving me crazy eyes! It’s like looking at Lady Ga Ga through a kaleidoscope. Shit like that belongs in the “Priscilla, Queen of the Desert” stage show and nowhere else.

Pamela Anderson is off in England pimping out her boring ass reality show “Girl On The Loose” aka “Loosey Goosey” and she was asked how she feels about one of the UK’s biggest famewhores Katie Price.

Pammy tells The Sun, “I have no idea how she became famous. She shows off her kids all the time in TV shows – that’s beyond low. I’d never do that. Kids can’t make that decision at that age, can they?”

This is coming from a ho whose kids can open up their lap tops, type in a few words and see their mother and father doing gross shit on the internets. I’m going to side with Katie on this one. If she didn’t whore out her kids on TV, we’d never see Harvey’s precious face. That would be just wrong. I mean, we’d never have amazing and magical moments like this one (yes, I’m posting it again):