Well, what the fuck do you know? The Sun was right. Vadge’s spokeswhore just confirmed that her marriage is done. Finished. Kaput. Over. Through. You get it.

Guy Ritchie finally pulled his peen out of her super grip and now he’s single. This also means that Vadge the Cougar has been released from her cage. Mothers, hold on to your 20-something sons, Vadge is coming for them!

Vadge’s rep Liz Rosenberg said they are divorcing after nearly 8 years of marriage. She went on to say that the two want privacy (HA!) and a settlement has not been reached. They will probably settle it in a wrestling cage match. Vadge is giving Guy some time to train, because she knows very well that her muscled-up vagina lips alone could beat him.

Now that Vadge will no longer be married to an Englishman, can she please drop the fucking British accent?! Please! Guy needs to ask for the accent in the settlement along with hundreds of millions of dollars for putting up with that shit.

Source

Michael Lohan found somebody to punch him in the fug mug. Unfortunately, it’s not me – Socialite Life

This Bud’s for Mischa – Best Week Ever

Tater Head and her mommy are making a movie together – ICYDK

Gordon Gekko is back – Holy Moly!

Justin Timerblake, please jump in a hole – Mollygood

Tim McGraw says sowwy to his fans for his new Greatest Hits album – Celebitchy

Suri Cruise must be allergic to pants – I’m Not Obsessed

CNN gave DL Hughley his own show – SOW

La Pequeña Sarah Palin!! This shit can’t get any better. This whole video is set to Dolly Parton’s “9 to 5.” AND La Pequeña is wearing a bootleg Baywatch bikini. This is what dreams are made of!

If you can only watch a little bit of this video, slap yourself with a little person. After you do that, skip to the 55 second mark and watch La Pequeña Sarah Palin say “I don’t want war, I love peace” before stroking her lady bulge.

We can all shut down our computers for the week. The internet has done its job.

Thanks Mari

SPOILER ALERT! It’s not like you give a dirty dildo anyway.

UsWeekly has some BREAKING NEWS! Heidi Montag wasn’t always a pre-op horse and they have picture proof (above). No, the real non-news is that Heidi and that girl Lauren Conrad were spotted hugging at STK in Los Angeles last night. Lauren was there to celebrate her first fugly fashion show.

While Spencer was eating a bowl of shit at the bar, Heidi galloped over and asked one of LC’s friends if she could hug her. Please. She was probably asking the production assistant if they were ready for the shot.

Heidi was allowed into LC’s inner sanctum (smells like beef) and the two smiled, talked and hugged. I smell an EMMY (smells like beef)!!!

Now that Heidi and LC have made up, all wars around the world can now come to an end.

I’m sure we’ll see this heartfart reunion on “The Hills.” After they air the reunion scene, they will cut to LC going into work and being greeted by the happy robot Whitney. Whitney will say, “Heeeeey. How was your weekend?” LC will reply, “Oh my god. I hugged Heidi last night.” Whitney will widen her eyes and say, “Oh my god. Really?” And then she’ll get up and push a rack of clothes. End scene.

Here’s a few pictures of Twit and Twatty leaving STK last night after the “reunion.” She really has a face that only Mr. Ed could love.

Miley, Miley, Miley… She might as well have handed this picture over on a silver platter with the newest copy of Photoshop and a Pedobear Approved sticker.

Someone should tell Miley that she’s not in the backwoods anymore. There are spoons available for her to use. But something tells me Billy Ray Cyrus hid them all.

In other prostitot news, Miley has announced that she’s just finished her first autobiography at the ripe old age of 15. OMG! LMAO! ROTFL! Miley said, “I’m not sure when it’s going to come out. It’s finished but you’ve got a long process of editing and all that kind of stuff, so it takes a while.”

It’s probably the first book to be written entirely through text and IM messages. It’s going to be called: “DNT H8!!1!!! UR JST JELLIS!”

Here’s more of Miley, her “way too hot for her” boyfriend and possum-haired Billy Ray at the Millions of Milkshakes event in Los Angeles yesterday. They named a milkshake after her! Billy Ray isn’t in a lot of these pictures because he kept excusing himself to use the bathroom. And notice the last picture. Another gem brought to you by Pedobear!

Janet Jackson hasn’t performed in her Rock Witchu Tour since last month. It all started when she suddenly canceled her September 29th Montreal show, because she got sick or something during sound check. After that, she started axing dates left and right. She never gave a reason why. Some whores thought she was knocked up, others blamed her outfits and some said her tickets weren’t selling so she pretended to be sick to save face. It looks like it was that damn Sanjaya mohawk on her head! Janet’s spokeswhore said she’s been suffering from a rare kind of migraine called vestibular migraine which causes her to experience vertigo. She’s receiving treatment and is doing better.

Janet’s whore said, “Janet is a world-class entertainer and needs to be at the top of her game to give her fans the show they expect. She’s feeling much better and is ready to hit the road again.”

People reports that she will perform tonight in Washington D.C. She was supposed to take the stage in NYC tomorrow, but that show has been rescheduled for November 1st. Janet’s bitches are currently trying to work out new dates to make up for the postponed ones.

Bitch needs to release that mess on top of her head and let her brains breathe. JJ should also change all the costumes in her show, because looking at that shit can’t be good on the brains. Personally, I still think she’s traumatized from Troll Dupri barfing on her ass.