In an interview with the New York Times, Saint Angie Jo says that one day she wants her child army to watch “Mr. and Mrs. Smith,” the movie she made with their daddy.

She says, “Not a lot of people get to see a movie where their parents fell in love.”

Obviously, a lot of people do because you have like thirty million kids.

Saint Angie didn’t need to say this shit. We all know! Why do you think that Jennifer Aniston starts bawling and punching at her ears whenever she hears the name “Smith“? I mean, it’s fucking obvious.

Angie still claims she never effed Brad while he was with Jen. In an old interview from a couple of years ago, she said, “To be intimate with a married man, when my own father cheated on my mother, is not something I could forgive. I could not, could not, look at myself in the morning if I did that.” How the fuck can you fall in love with someone without licking on their genitals? What is this? The 30s. I do believe that Brad fell in love with her before they did it, because Angie just showed him a glimpse of her hypnotic vagina and he was whipped. But Angie is not going to get stuck with a dude that sucks at fucking. She’s just not.

And, I’m surprised her kids haven’t seen the movie yet.. I would think that watching it is part of the orientation process once you’re accepted into the holy family. You get fitted for your all-black wardrobe, you take an oath to only refer to Jennifer Anison as “that poor hag” and then you have to watch “Mr. and Mrs. Smith.” Maddox gives a pop quiz at the end.

That police officer needs to move that fucking light. Rude! I can’t really tell if he’s a hot piece or not. He should turn that flashlight around and point it at his mug, so we can get a good look. He might have a bad case of birds lip but…. Oh! Who Cares!? Sometimes I really need to control myself. Whenever I look at these pap pictures, I immediately scan to see who might be hot. I’m hard up!

Anyalwayshorny, Jenny Aniston shuffled into John Mayer’s house last night to celebrate his 31st birthday. She brought along her baby making kit and her wedding inspiration album “just in case.” Instead of making John blow out the candles on his birfday cake, she made his peen blow a load into a test tube. I don’t think John even noticed.

Earlier in the night, John left a recording studio blocking his face with some sort of electronic equipment. These celebwhores always suck at hiding their faces from the cameras. That’s probably because they don’t want to. They just want to make it look like they’re camera shy. If they really wanted to hide their smug mugs, they would use something better. I don’t know….like a plastic bag? Breath in…

During last night’s episode of “Survivor,” Marcus, the floppy peen flasher, kissed Charlie on the shoulder after they won the “hitting fruit” challenge. Hit a fruit, kiss a fruit!

Marcus claims to be straight and Charlie is a big flamer who has already declared his lust for his alliance partner.

Why would Marcus kiss him on the shoulder? Out of all places? If I was Charlie, I’d be fucking pissed. The shoulder is the last place I want to be kissed. Especially since Charlie’s shoulder is all dirty and shit.

Maybe Marcus doesn’t want to hit Charlie’s ass and he’s just playing him? I mean, thanks to that little bit of PDA, Charlie will never EVER vote out Marcus. Fuck. Charlie might even take the fall for Marcus in the future. He’ll gladly go down for Marcus in order to go down ON Marcus. You can’t blame him.

Whatever the case may be, I just hope that if Charlie and Marcus ever got it on in the dark, the producers didn’t film it in that night vision shit. I want full-on lights and a sexy soundtrack.

Here’s a couple more pictures of these two maybe-lovahs getting friendly. Charlie’s eyes are totally telling us, “I’m going to ride this shit.”

Source: Square Hippies

Thanks Mike!