Is Lily Allen the New Face of Chanel?

November 10, 2006 / Posted by:

Lindsay Lohan is going to be effin pissed! Apparently, Karl Lagerfeld has become so taken with Lily Allen that he’s considering her for the face of Chanel in 2007. She recently attended a show in Paris and also had a meeting at the Chanel HQ.

A source said, “Lily burst on to the scene as the Queen Of Chav with her trainers and huge gold earrings. So it’s hilarious she has been asked to work with Chanel, one of the most famous fashion houses in the world. But, like any girl, she loves high fashion. Nothing is set in stone but Karl believes she has come up with a look that will define 2007. It’s all about wearing really classy clothes in a different context. He is keen to dress her and work with her.”

Expect Lindsay Lohan to be caught on tape saying “Lily Allen is a c-u-next-Tuesday.

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A Little Ashley Judd

November 10, 2006 / Posted by:

I need a little more Ashley Judd in my life. I’m so sick of these Blohans and Paris’, I need a normal person. Anyway, here she is not looking that amazing at the Come Early Morning premiere. The movie opens today and is getting buzz. Maybe Oscar buzz? Someone hand this ho a kleenex to handle her sweat.

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The “Who Cares?” News

November 10, 2006 / Posted by:

Humiliated frat boys sue BoratAP

KFed is turning to booze and ciggies to deal with the Brit split. So, nothing has changed – Contact Music

Cameron Diaz is fixing her nose. Let’s get some money together and also pay the surgeon to stitch up her mouth as well – Gabsmash

Ashlee Simpson needs a bath – ICYDN

Kim Cattrall upskirt. Eek. – SOW

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WTF?!

November 10, 2006 / Posted by:

How did I miss this? It’s Bobby Brown and Mike Tyson dressed as vampires singing (I use the term loosely) “Monster Mash” on Jimmy Kimmel Live. How did this happen? Who signed off on this? Is Tyson mentally retarded? So many questions?!

Thanks Buffy

Who Would You Rather Do Sex To?

November 10, 2006 / Posted by:

Val Kilmer was asked this strange question and he of course went with Oprah. I mean, who wouldn’t? He said, “I would choose Oprah, any day of the week. Sorry, Nicole.”

I mean I’d go with Oprah, because she could take it like a champ. Nicole has the body of a 7-year-old boy and unlike Jacko, I’m not into that. She’d also moan and complain about how it hurt. Oprah would probably talk dirty to you about how she went to dinner with Nelson Mandela.

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No Catholic Wedding for TomKat?

November 10, 2006 / Posted by:


Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes at The Black Ball on 11/9

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes will probably not get their dream Catholic wedding in Italy. There had been reports that the couple would have a Catholic ceremony in Italy. According to some Italian religious person named Monsignor Nicola Fiorentini that ain’t going to happen.

Why? Well, it’s not because Cruise is a crazed maniac, it’s cause he’s divorced. “Cruise is divorced. Even if the actor were not divorced, another fundamental requirement to validate the rite would be missing: the authorization of the parish.”

Italy will also not recognize a Scientology ceremony, because they don’t believe in alien nonsense.

So what’s a Cruise today? He’ll do what he does best. Buy them off to keep them quiet.

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