Palin & Fey: Together At Last (Sort Of, Kind Of)

/ October 19, 2008

Sarah Fey and Tina Palin (on purpose typo) shared the same stage on SNL (aka The Sarah Palin Show) last night. Yes, they did share the stage…..for a quick second! They crossed paths and quickly glanced at each other. It was a magically strange moment that can be described in two words: acid flashback.

I think I like Tina Fey’s version of Sarah Palin better than Sarah Palin’s. Especially her fancy pageant walk! I could have watched that all night.

Alec Baldwin and Marky Mark also made cameos in the opening sketch which was a little awkward and uncomfortable. It was like watching my divorced parents at Thanksgiving dinner together. I didn’t know whether to stare at them the whole time or medicate myself with pills and booze.

And was that a llama or a pony in the background?! Why did it only get ass time? Forget it. I just answered my own question.

Below is Sarah Palin’s other appearance on Weekend Update. Amy Poehler is like 15-months pregnant and she can still rap! The bitch has skills. Todd and the moose was a nice touch, but where was Joe Sixpack and Joe the Plumber?! SNL probably couldn’t afford their appearance fees.

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

/ October 19, 2008

Stephanie Romanov – She played that hot bitch Teri Spencer in “Models, Inc.” Teri was the world’s biggest supermodel and the younger and bitchier sister of Carrie Ann-Moss’ character. Teri was thrown off a high-rise building and killed off the show which started a “Who Killed Teri Spencer” storyline. We later learn that Stephanie Smith, the receptionist at Models Inc., killed Teri because she wanted her man.

The producers liked Stephanie Romanov so much that they brought her back as a character named Monique Duren who looked just like Teri Spencer (obviously) but wasn’t a crazy bitch.

Aww…memories. I wish this shit was on DVD. Below is the show’s opening credits:

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Birthday Sluts

/ October 19, 2008

John Lithgow (63)
Joy Bryant (32)
Desmond Harrington (32)
Pras (36)
Chris Kattan (38)
Trey Parker (39)
Jon Favreau (42)
Ty Pennington (43)
Evander Holyfield (46)
Jennifer Holliday (48)
Michael Gambon (68)

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Cheeto Mommy Of The Year

/ October 18, 2008

Brit Brit aka Cheeto Bref fronted on the mommy role yesterday by picking up her spawn SPF and JJ from school with Daddy “I Don’t Take No Shit” Spears, famewhore Lynn and the nanny. You know that nanny is going to write a tell-all in a few months. Lynn is going to co-author and London will write the foreword.

A year ago, you never would have thought that our little Cheetoling would ever come out of her Frapp-induced crazy spell and get to see her chilluns without a police escort. I’m sure JJ and SPF are glad to have their mommy back. They mostly missed her because she’s the only one who knows how to make Purple Drank properly.

And since we’re on the subject of Our Lady of Cheetos, here’s The Soup’s version of her “Woomanizah” video. This should’ve been the official shit. Exercisah! Excersiah! Sanitzah! Sanitazah! Energizah! Energizah!

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The Brawny Man Called, He Wants His Shirt Back

/ October 18, 2008

You’re not Marylin Monroe, you’re not Jessica fucking Simpson or silicone laden Pammy Anderson. Fuck, Heidi! Be yourself. Oh wait, you can’t do that, because you’re not nearly interesting enough for anyone to pay attention to for more than two minutes…… Wait, I’m paying attention to her…..but just ignore that unimportant fact and let’s continue hating her.

And another thing, Heidi! Tell Ceiling Eyes to keep her shirt on, because her eyes aren’t the only thing staring at the ceiling. Don’t know what I mean? Look up some of her earlier “artistic” work.

Here’s the little piece of walking peroxide soaked trash and the equally annoying wad of Nice N’ Easy brunette shooting scenes for The Hills at The Grove in L.A. yesterday. Heidi is probably telling Ceiling Eyes how much she loooooves Twatty Pratt and can’t wait to marry him in a fake wedding. That’s obviously a bunch of caca. She doesn’t fake love Twatty. If she did, she wouldn’t be (NSFW) trolling craigslist for casual fuck sessions!

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Alien Princess RiRi On Her Chariot

/ October 18, 2008

Alien Princess RiRi looked like a lazy ass Road Runner while riding on a Segway through the fucking mall at Planet Hollywood in Las Vegas yesterday. That lazy ass penis head. She’s even making that bear dude pull her! And that Segway is fugly as shit. What is the damn point? If any celebwhore needs to ride on a Segway, it’s Posh, because that ho wears shoes that will be the death of her. Seriously.

And I wasn’t joking when I said RiRi looks like Road Runner. She needs to give him his hair back. She better be careful, because Wile E. Coyote is going to drop a boulder on her tenhead.

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