Suri in Red

November 13, 2006 / Posted by:

It’s going to be a TomKat week isn’t it? Ugh, I hate TomKat weeks! So, Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes and Suri Cruise arrived in Rome by private jet today. They were then taken to the Hotel Hassler Roma near the Spanish Steps. The couple are in Rome to get married this Saturday near some kind of lake. It’s unclear where they will wed, but several venues have already been talked about.

Guests will include John Travolta, Jenna Elfman and E.T.

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The “Who Cares?” News

November 13, 2006 / Posted by:

The “hanging” of Suddam Hussein is a huge hit in India! – AP

Paul McCartney is trying to buy his daughter for $40 Million. Heather Mills would’ve sold at $10 Million. – Female First

Justin Timberlake will infuse his dorkness into Duran Duran’s new album – Gabsmash

Ms. Dynamite injured herself in one of the dumbest reality show ideas ever, but I’d watch it. – SOW

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Reunited in Rehab

November 13, 2006 / Posted by:

Keith Urban had a visitor from his granny at the Betty Ford center in California. Oh that’s not his granny you say? Silly me, I didn’t recognize Nicole Kidman with that mop of white hair. In this case a wig is ok. Her hair is falling out and it’s white! Eeek, she’s like a witch. Anyway, this is the moment that the National Enquirer claims Nicole told Keith she’s knocked up.

I doubt it though. Her eggs are totally dried up.

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The Simpsons Movie Trailer

November 13, 2006 / Posted by:

The newest “The Simpsons the Movie” trailer debuted last night on FOX. It’s cute, it’s fine. The movie debuts next Summer and I’m sure will make tons of dough. They do hit on a point about those damn 3D animation movies. “Happy Feet” ugh?! Over it.

Survivor Ozzy’s Porn Past

November 13, 2006 / Posted by:

The current season of Survivor is winding down and Oscar “Ozzie” Lusth is the last Latino and one of the favored to win the whole game. Well, it looks like he has a porn past. Isn’t it shocking when a reality contestant has done porn? Anyway, he appeared in an episode of Playboy TV’s Foursome. The show describes itself as a dating showing that shows everything. Yeah, basically they have a fake date and then boink.

Ozzie’s episode has him involved in a foursome with two women and another man. He gets oral from one of the chicks and screws them both. He doesn’t do anything sexual with the other dude.

He later tells us after the “date”, “I blew my load in her mouth like she told me to, because that’s how she likes it.”

Oh, lovely! Click here to see NSFW clips and stills.

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Posh Hates the Taste of Water

November 13, 2006 / Posted by:

Katie Holmes tried taking Posh Beckham’s advice and try to lose as much weight as possible before her wedding this weekend in Italy. Shegave up with Posh’s strict diet rules. A source said, “Victoria maintains her tiny frame because she only permits herself to snack – not eat – on edamame, pretzels and occasionally sushi.”

Posh is also addicted to Diet Coke and won’t drink water, because she finds the taste revolting.

Can’t stand the taste of water? What the hell kind of water is she drinking? It has no taste. Not eating her rotted her damn brains and messed up her taste buds. She should try a little Crystal Light.

It’s Monday, so here’s pics of TomKat and company at some soccer game. They are almost believable as an All-American family.

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