Brit Brit Takes Her Kid Sister to a Tattoo Parlor

December 20, 2006 / Posted by:

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Britney Spears brought her 16-year-old sister, Jamie Lynn Spears, to a Hollywood tat parlor late the other night. Brit looks like she was washed in a tub of lard and deep fried in a batter of pig fat. Seriously, she looked like hell. It’s unclear if Brit bought her younger sister a little ink, but Brit couldn’t help it and picked some up for herself. I wonder what kind of tat she got? Probably something lame like “Hot Mama” or “Dirty Puss” or “Single & Lovin’ It!”

Unfortunately, this wasn’t the case. Britney was having her matching dice tat she shared with KFed on her wrist changed. What can you make out of two dice? Bull nuts? Yeah, that’s what she had them changed to.

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So Does This Mean Martha Stewart Doesn’t Like Fava Beans?

December 20, 2006 / Posted by:

I’m surprised to hear that Martha Stewart used to date Anthony Hopkins. Am I like the only one that hasn’t heard this caca before? Well, during an interview with Howard Stern she said that she had to break things off with Anthony, because she couldn’t stop thinking of Hannibal Lecter when she looked at him.

She said, “I would have probably had a very nice relationship with Anthony Hopkins, but I couldn’t get past the Lecter thing. Oh, I loved him, but he was… scary. I was going to invite him up to Maine; I have this beautiful home in Maine… but then I reconsidered because I saw that movie again. Do you want someone eating your brain while you are sitting in your beautiful dining room in Maine?”

What a stupid stupid bitch! She should be lucky anyone would want to go muff diving on her. She’s a frigid ho. I mean she could’ve had some real funny. She should’ve dressed her snatched up with fava beans and had him eat them out. I mean that’s romance.

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Desperately Seeking Susan the Musical?

December 20, 2006 / Posted by:

It gets worse. Not only are people making a musical version of the Madonna film Desperately Seeking Susan, but they are setting it to the music of Blondie. WTF?! The musical will open next year in the West End of London. Debbie or Deborah Harrry will also write a new song for the musical.

The story centers on Roberta Glass, a bored New Jersey housewife who seeks adventure through her obsession with personal ads and the mysterious Susan, a street-smart East Village drifter. When Roberta suffers a bad case of amnesia, she and Susan unexpectedly swap lives and are plunged into a world of jewel heists, magic shows and rock ‘n’ roll. The collision of Roberta and Susan’s identities takes them on a wild journey of mystery, self-awareness, and true love—with both women discovering that you never know where your life is going, until something magical happens. The film, written by Leora Barish and directed by Susan Seidelman, marked the big screen debut of Madonna, who played the role of Susan. Rosanna Arquette co-starred as Roberta.

Let’s hope they put the nail in the coffin by casting Madonna. I mean…seeing her play 20 would be a revelation. I mean…this is probably going to be so bad it’s going to be good. I like to know when they come up with these ideas. Methinks they come up with them after a long night of coke binging and stripper hunting. Desperately Seeking Susan set to Blondie?!? This is the devil’s work!

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Tina Knowles Screwed Up Again!

December 20, 2006 / Posted by:

What bridesmaid had to die in order for Beyonce to wear this thing on TRL yesterday? I mean doesn’t this ho and her mother fancy themselves like fashion icons of the universe? Tina Knowles and House of Derriere really missed the mark on this one. It’s honestly like something a bridesmaid would be forced to wear at a Space themed wedding in 1983.

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Still Trash

December 20, 2006 / Posted by:

You don’t fool me Tara Reid. One minute your ass is falling down drunk in London and the next minute you’re trying to be some effin Ava Gardner type at a movie premiere. I mean the movie premiere is Black Christmas not like Casablanca or anything. Stupid ass. Yes, she looks pretty but next week she’ll be caught doing nut shots off some frat dudes.

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