Somebody needs to get a spackle crew to Tara Reid’s ass ASAP – Egotastic!

Two shameless sluts are still together! – Popsugar

Nicole Richie is designing headbands now?! Phoebe Price needs to handle that bitch! – Lainey Gossip

Buffy looking like a Pussycat Doll reject – IDLYITW

Miranda Kerr goes topless for FHM – Hollywood Tuna

Vadge is like bad meat – Cityrag

A teen Hollywood actress who is actually living a normal life. Imagine that! – Just Jared

Katie Price is wasted – Hollywood Rag

A big gay wedding featuring Barry Manilow and Joan Collins – Towleroad

CoCo covered up and I don’t like that shit (site NSFW) – Drunken Stepfather

There’s been a million rumors that Will Smith and Jada Pinkett are both raging homos who are using their fake marriage to cover that shit up. The latest gay rumor about the Fresh Prince of Bel Air comes from some Hollywood Madam who claims she has sold him dick in the past. The madame tells Ian Halperin that before she moved her whore game from Hollywood to NYC this year, Will Smith was one of her clients.

She said, “I had to reassure him over and over that I could guarantee discretion. Once I convinced him I could, he placed his order. It was for a man. I had 14 women working for me and two guys. You’d be surprised at how many Hollywood stars requested the services of the guys.”

Does this madam bitch know the meaning of the word “discretion“? Will should let John Travolta know to never buy peen from that shady bitch again.

If Will wanted some easy ass without strings, why wouldn’t he just hang out in Tommy Girl’s alien sex dungeon? Tommy probably has available dick on staff 24-hours a day.

And the madam failed to mention two very important things: how big is the peen and does he take it in the doody?

VIA Queerty

Hah. Australia’s NW Weekly reports that Jennifer Aniston’s prayers have been answered and she’s pregnant with a baby. A real-life baby! You go, Jen! And to think of all the people who laughed at you for freezing John Mayer’s used condoms. It finally worked!

Friends tell the magazine that John Mayer and Jen are back together for the sake of their unborn baby! The friends also say she’s pregnant and loving it. Maddox must be behind this prank.

If Jenny was knocked up, you know that bitch would have crashed the “Changeling” premiere with her ultrasounds and positive pregnancy test in hand! She would’ve run down the red carpet screaming, “TAKE THAT, MADDOX! SCORE ONE FOR THE CHIN!”

If it is true, that baby is going to pop out of Jenny and immediately file a request to be adopted by the Brangelina holy family.

VIA Just Jared

When you’re on an Acela train from NYC to DC with someone you’re currently bumping oysters with, you should spend most of the trip massaging each other’s clitties, not fighting! Some nosy bitch was sitting near HoHan and SamRo on a train ride to DC and listened to them “quietly” arguing the entire time.

The bitch told Page Six that HoHan complained during most of the train ride and told SamRo that she’s constantly doing what’s best for them and not what’s best for her. SamRo sat there with her hood over her head and sighed every now and again. During the fight, HoHan yelled at SamRo, “Don’t fucking lie to me!”

These two actually talk to each other? I figured they only communicated through text messaging. I bet they even text during sexy times. While SamRo is eating the ham wallet, HoHan texts her, “O YES rt there i’m abt2 cum yeh kip dat tung Fkng goin!”

And yes, it’s the slowest fucking gossip day ever…….

Which handsome TV pin-up is secretly seeing two guys behind his unsuspecting girlfriend’s back? The trio have been enjoying a string of sordid romps during breaks in filming. (3am Girls)

Bart Simpson? Any of those twats on Gossip Girl?

Which divorce will get even more complicated when multiple affairs are uncovered? Everyone thinks that one party was at fault because they were out of control and having an affair. The truth is that BOTH were having affairs. The couple wants to hustle the divorce process along, but once the paramours start coming out of the woodwork and talking, it’s going to get very complicated and very ugly and very expensive. (Blind Gossip)

Vadge and Guy or David and Tea? I’ll guess the latter.

Which supermodel of yore is now a complete alcoholic? This is something of an improvement as a visitor to her house once noted that there were loads of wraps of coke lying around her house, some within easy reach of her toddler! No, it isn’t the one you think. (Holy Moly!)

Kate Moss?! Too easy. Umm…. Linda Evangelista?

What singer and I use that term loosely is running out of money fast? The reason? Her fairly new husband is now acting as her business manager and using her bank account as his own personal ATM. In the short time they have been married she has lost almost $5M all because of him. (Crazy Days and Nights)

Mimi, but I guess she can sort of sing. Scary Spice?

Jenna Jameson shows off her baby belly, doesn’t look as plastic-ey while doing so – Celebitchy

Wait, maybe Vadge isn’t moving back to NYC after all? FUCK! – I’m Not Obsessed

“Staying Alive” will keep you alive – Mollygood

Brad Pitt is the head “Basterd” – ICYDK

“Watership Down” turns 30!! – Popbytes

That hot bitch Brian Kinney is still in the hospital, but improving – SOW

Lil Wayne is expecting a baby delivery any day now – A Socialite’s Life