Peanut Cat has more talent in his one paw than 95% of Hollywood combined – Videogum

Michael Lohan and Joe Francis should go off and eat each other’s pussies – A Socialite’s Life

Irv Richards is officially back on television – Celebitchy

The Olsen trolls are demanding – Holy Moly!

Joaquin Phoenix is definitely on some bad shit – ICYDK

One of Tommy Girl’s wet dreams – Mollygood

Another Larry Birkhead precious photo-op moment – Popbytes

Some fool gave Courtney Cox another show – I’m Not Obsessed

At last night’s “Quantum of Solace” premiere in London, a great big ball of sexy fire ran through the red carpet. Genitals everywhere immediately got all tingly, because Prince Hot Ginge was in their midst! And the carpet matched the drapes. Literally. Sort of. Okay, not really, but just go with it.

Hot Ginge is the one who should’ve played James Bond, but they would’ve had to change the name to James Ginge. Maybe it’s because I get a little Rojo Caliente flavor from Hot Ginge, but that bitch makes my no-no hole pucker. I think it’s trying to blow him air kisses. I had too many cups of Sanka this morning, so I hope it doesn’t blow too hard or I’ll mess up another pair of panties.

If Hot Ginge kneeled before me like he’s doing in the first thumbnail below, my genitals would probably hold up a white flag and surrender.

It doesn’t really matter who else was at the premiere last night, but I threw some in a few pictures just because. I’ve got Prince Willy, Daniel Craig and his wolf eyes, Gemma Arterton, Lily Allen, the amazing Grace Jones and Dame Judi Dench.

Methinks Gemma and Lily’s dresses both got caught in the same escalator. Half of their dresses are missing! Or maybe Grace Jones attacked them.

Who’s the meanest, prettiest, baddest mo-fo, low-down, around this town? Well, apparently it’s Samuel L. Jackson, because he’s going to play Sho’nuff in a remake of 1985’s “The Last Dragon.” It could be worse, they could have cast Eddie Murphy.

The legendary Julius Carry, who played the Shogun of Harlem in the original movie, passed away in August.

Dallas Jackson will write and produce this shit. The original plot will remain the same, but will get updated. Basically, it’s going to get butchered. I wouldn’t be surprised if they changed Sho’nuff’s name to Sure Enough. The evil warlords of Hollywood have no shame!

Samuel had this to say about playing Sho’nuff, “I’m a huge fan of the original and look forward to bringing Sho’Nuff into the 21st century.”

You know what they need to do to get this remake to work? Bring back Vanity! Pull her out of the church and get her to sing “7th Heaven” in the remake. Yeah, I know she’s a born again Christian now and doesn’t do any of her nasty shit anymore, but just tell her “7th Heaven” is really a religious song or something. Let’s relive the memories below:

Lacey Schwimmer (right), Lance Bass’ (left) partner on “Dancing with the Has-Beens,” told The Insider yesterday that she’s been diagnosed with endometriosis, the same condition Julianne Hough has. Julianne had to go to surgery for it yesterday. Julianne said she’ll be back to dancing in a couple of weeks.

Lacey said she only went to the doctor after realizing she had the same symptoms as Julianne. Lacey’s doctors told her yesterday, so she called up The Insider and gave them the news! According to Lacey, she’s in the early stages of the condition and won’t have to go to surgery, but she is taking medication for it.

It will be business as usual for Lacey and she’ll be dancing next week.

CHERYL BURKE is on a rampage! It’s funny that Lacey and Lance were the front-runners this week and now this happens! Mop Head has to go before Susan Lucci breaks one of her nails or something! Seriously, if La Lucci breaks a nail, she won’t be able to dance. She’s fragile. We need to grab our Swiffers and form a prayer circle around La Lucci to keep her safe!

The past few times I’ve seen pictures of CoCo out with her pimp, she’s been dressed so…..non-classy. I mean, she’s been covering herself up and not showing off her best features. Well, CoCo woke up from her conservative coma and has decided to bring out her true beauty on Halloween.

CoCo spoke to New York Magazine the other night while working one of her corners and told them her plans for Halloween. She wouldn’t say exactly what she was going to be, but said, “It’s my day! I get to get naked! Finally!!!” Yes, FINALLY!!!! It’s been ages since I’ve seen her jumbo ham hocks in all their glory!

So…if CoCo’s going to be walking around naked, then I guess she’s dressing up as herself? Or maybe a glazed Christmas HAM with a slice of pineapple and a cherry on top. Wait, maybe she’s going to be that lipstick wearin’ pig everyone’s been talking about? I’m joking! Whatever she’s dressing as, I’m sure she’s going to look like the epitome of elegance as always.

Ice-T added, “You know, a lot of people comment, but some chicks like to be wild. You come home and they’re standing on the couch and they want to jump at you and tackle you. Coco’s one of them girls.”

Standing on the couch waiting to unleash their hungry hole on you?! Yeah, Tommy Girl is one of those girls too.

When she gains weight, it goes right to her fries. – NoAnjl

Runners-up:

Elsie’s elephant man costume just didn’t seem right… – misstia

One potato, two potato, three potato, WHORE. – FarquharAmberschitz

After the jump is the NSFWish version of this beauty. JUMP!!!

Thanks Anna