I really don’t wanna know how he got his “red wings” – HairyPotHeadFan

Runners-up:

A couple more of those and the rainforests will start cutting themselves down. – Starvis

if you listen closely…
you can you hear the moss screaming – deejayspicerack

Mariah Carey 2025; still obsessed with butterflies AND still not wearing enough clothing for her age. – The C Word

Tabitha Soren – It’s fucking voting day here in the US and Tabitha still wants you to Choose or Lose or whatever she fucking asked us to do in the 90s. I remember spending hours watching her ass tell us about the elections and shit in the 1990s. I was too young to vote back then, but I wanted to, because Tabitha was so hot.

So have a fun time voting today. Don’t forget to ask for your complimentary dime bag when you cast your ballot! Trust me. Just ask them.

Below is a clip of Tabitha from ’92 helping us out with election terminology:

Kathy Griffin (48)
Trishelle Cannatella (29)
Heather Tom (33)
Diddy (39)
Matthew McConaughey (39)
Jeff Probst (46)
Ralph Macchio (47)
Markie Post (58)
Laura Bush (62)
Loretta Swit (71)
Doris Roberts (78)
Walter Cronkite (92)

Natalie Dylan, the chick auctioning off her cherry to the highest bidder, was on The Ty Ty Show today with one of her potential v-card takers. Natalie’s virginity auction is being run by the fat Mr. Clean-looking dude who owns The Bunny Ranch. He said they have received over 5,000 bids ranging from $1 million to $3.8 million, including bids from a rock star and famous actor. I bet the “famous actor” is James Woods. Ew. You know he’s into that shit.

Natalie, who wants to be a sex therapist when she grows up, tried to sound all smart and shit during the interview, saying the auction only started out as a “theoretical study” but now she wants to capitalize on selling her virginity. Study my dick hole. This bitch wants to get paid and there’s nothing wrong with that, but let’s not make this shit all serious. She’s whoring herself out. Plain and simple.

59-year-old Lee, one of the bidders, said he’s never been with a virgin before and wants to know what it’s like. You know, Lee is exactly what I picture when thinking of a dude who will bid on this kind of shit. He looks like his hands are always clammy and suffers from a serious case of Halitosis in his mouth and asshole.

That said, for a $1 million, I’d stick a maraschino cherry up my no-no hole and let Lee fish it out with his Mr. Burns-like bony fingers. I’d even let him keep the stem.

P.S. – Airforce Amy (the blonde prosty in the clip above) is the greatest American who ever lived.

Birthday: August 11, 1954
Age: 54
Birth Name: David Ian Jackson

Original Date of HS of the Day: November 1, 2008
Claim to Fame: Joe is a singer, songwriter and skin bleach lover who had a few hit songs in the late 70s through mid-80s.

Where is he now? Probably in Jacko’s dermatologist’s waiting room. Joe currently lives in Berlin and writes music. He’s also an activist! He campaigned against the smoking bans in NYC and the UK. When NYC banned smoking in 2003, he moved to Germany. Bitch loves his fags.

Why is he HS of the Week? Mainly because if he never existed, this magical moment would have never been captured:

(Thanks to Dan for the video)

Kate Winslet looks like some kind of Catherine Deneuve/lion/alien hybrid on the cover of Vanity Fair. What’s with all these magazines turning bitches into praying mantis aliens for their covers? Don’t get me wrong, I’d still brush Kate’s lion mane and prance around in her shoes, but this shit looks nothing like her ass.

Speaking of naked ass Kate Winslet, Halle Berry had this to say about her in Esquire (via P6): “Kate Winslet is always naked, sitting on a toilet, running buck-naked. She’s free. I want to be the kind of actress who can really be comfortable with my body like that”

Thanks for that visual, Halle. Now when I look at this cover, I’m picturing Kate sitting on a toilet, with a coat around her shoulders, looking regal while pushing out a perfectly airbrushed butt nugget.