Who needs lunch? The Jackass dudes are naked. And Chris Pontius should really get that dead, limp worm he’s holding checked out by a medical professional (NSFL) – OMG Blog

Whore, white and blue – Hollywood Tuna

Cristiano Ronaldo has juicy pits – Towleroad

Mischa Barton forgot that Halloween is over (site NSFW) – Drunken Stepfather

Bond in Berlin – Lainey Gossip

There’s nothing natural about Pamela Anderson – Hollywood Rag

Heidi Klum strips down to her panties for Guitar Hero – Egotastic!

Vida Guerra’s ass is eating her bikini – IDLYITW

Clooney and Ritchie on a sexy coffee date in Italy – Popsugar

Pope Diddy and Cassie might be doing it – Just Jared

Donuts! Donuts! Donuts! – Cityrag

Before all this election crap, what did the babbling hens on “The View” bitch about? And when it’s all over, what the hell are they going to queef about next? Knowing Hasselcrack, she’ll just giving bringing up the same shit as she always does. I must say that when she opens her pie hole, I start to smile, because I know the wolves will devour her.

The election is almost over, but it was fighting as usual on today’s show. It started how it always starts. Hasselcrack goes caca from her mouth and then the other three tag team her until Whoop goes to commercial and the argument abruptly ends.

Today, they argued about Palin, Ayers, Wright, blah…blah.. blah… It erupted with all of them yelling at Hasselcrack, which sounds like a bunch of squealing pigs fighting over the last chunky butt pebble.

They really need a kindergarten teacher to come in and teach them how to let everyone have their turn when speaking. Fuck. They should pull the rod out of Hasselcrack’s ass and use that as a talking stick!

Above is a shorter clip from today’s crap and click here to see the longer part.

Which popular male singer is hiding a hairy secret? His dandruff has got so bad, his flunkies are having to go out and buy him industrial strength supplies of special shampoo. (3am Girls)

George Michael, but that’s not dandruff…. It could also be Robbie Williams?

Which presenter has requested a lock on his dressing room door so that runners stop walking in on him having sexy time with a string of ladies... (3am Girls)

Sexy time! Russell Brand?

Which sexy starlet keeps blabbing that she can’t stand her faux boyfriend? The producers of her hit show hooked the young couple up as a publicity stunt, but she says that every time she has to smooch him in front of the paparazzi, it’s like “Frenching a lizard.” (Full Disclosure)

Blake Lively and Penn Badgley? He looks like a Monchhichi, so it’s a little funny that he tongue kisses like a lizard.

This B list actor used to be an A list action hero. He was at a costume party with a date that everyone assumed to be his girlfriend. The girlfriend is somewhat, but not overly famous. However, since the date was wearing a mask of Sue Storm from Fantastic Four, no one was actually be sure if it was his girlfriend. Throughout the night the pair spent more and more time groping and kissing in a corner and on a couch, and less and less time mingling. It was during one of these makeout groping sessions later in the evening that the mask slipped off the date’s face and it was discovered our action star’s date was actually another guy. (CDAN via Blind Gossip)

Vin Diesel?

(Thanks to Friedpeanuts for the pic)

The Mac Dude and fauxmosexual Tila Tequila were caught doing nasty things together at some club in Los Angeles. Some nosy person with a strong gag reflex told Page Six that the Mac Dude “asked her to straddle him while making out. Eww.” I love that the nosy person said “Ewww.” Only Blair Waldorf would say that shit.

The Mac Dude and Tila have also been seen together at LAX and a club in Las Vegas.

This dude is throwing me off. First, he was getting it on with Drew Barrymore, then he was slapping flour sacks with Kiki Dunst and now Tila?! The fuck? I would expect him to go from Kiki to Mischa Barton and then to the homeless hipster on the corner. But Tila?!

And what happened to Tila and Nay Nay?! Although, Nay Nay sort of looks like the Mac Dude…..if he got hit by a semi-truck, dragged four miles and then thrown into the sewer. Don’t know who Nay Nay is? Google her, you dumb fuck!

Yma Sumac, the Peruvian songbird with the multi-octave range, floated off to heaven on Saturday at the age of 86. Yma’s personal assistant confirms to the L.A. Times that she passed away at an assisted-living facillity in Silver Lake, CA.

Yma was known as “The Queen of Exotica” and the “Nightingale of the Andes” when she took the music world by storm in the 1950s. Her majestic voice made hearts flutter and eardrums twitch! One writer said, “She warbles like a bird in the uppermost regions, hoots like an owl in the lowest registers, produces bell-like coloratura passages one minute, and exotic, dusky contralto tones the next.”

Yma, who claimed to be a descendant of an ancient Incan emperor, entertained audiences from Las Vegas to Broadway to Argentina. And now she’s serenading the archangels in heaven!

By the way, her cousin’s name is Cholita Rivera. She deserves VIP treatment in heaven for that little fact.

Below is a touching tribute to the “Peruvian Songbird.” You might want to turn down the volume, because Yma’s voice was too powerful for my pooch to bear! He ran into the bathroom and dunked his head into the toilet.

Rest in peace, Yma!

Thanks Dan

After waiting in line for 8 hours to vote today, go down to Starbucks and wait in another line for your free tall cup of coffee! Drink that down and then skip on over to Krispy Kreme for a free star-shaped donut. Make sure you save a little of the glaze, you’re going to need that later. Once you’ve gobbled down the donut, do the running man while making your way to Ben & Jerry’s. Wash down the donut with a free scoop of ice cream. You’re still not done! Then slide into Babeland sex shop for a free “Silver Bullet” mini-vibrator. After that, you can go home and put a little glaze from your donut on your new vibrator. Then as vibrate your way to utopia, congratulate yourself for doing your part as an American!

All of these joints are offering free shit if you tell them you voted today. Apparently, this might be against the law, but the attorney general said they won’t be pressing charges. Phew. I guess that means I can still set up my “Cast Your Vote, Get A Free Handjob” booth outside of polling places.