I’m fucking drunkover (combination of drunk and hungover) and freaking out over that Prop 8 mess, so I’d figure it was a good time for some pictures of Suri Cruise actually smiling.

Suri and her robot zombie mommy were out in NYC last night, partying, acting crazy, etc… You know how they do it. Suri smiled at the paps, but she probably figured that if she moved her mouth around, it would keep her warm. Hah. No! Suri doesn’t need a jacket or tights or anything! Tommy Girl always keeps her heating system at a perfect 75 degrees.

Stepford Katie on the other hand always looks like she’s fucking freezing. She probably brings a blanket with her to the beach in the summertimes.

Anywhocares, I must get back to worrying about if my wedding to Mah Boo Anderson Cooper is going to happen or not.

After Obama was declared the HBIC of the United States, bitches took to the streets in celebration! Everywhere from NYC to San Francisco to New Orleans to Sydney to Paris, people cheered, boozed, rejoiced and acted crazy in the streets. I even saw stranger’s hug each other! Complete strangers! Seriously. I thought that kind of behavior was extinct!

The Huffington Post has a few pictures of hos celebrating around the country and the world.

Above is a clip from Los Angeles of a reporter smelling “weed in the air” at an Obama victory party. Hey, that’s what my party smelled like. And that dude is a NARC! Keep that shit to yourself. Whenever you smell weed in public, you keep quiet, make your way to the source and politely say, “Pass the blunt or I’ll sing like a fucking bird.”

VIA L.A. Rag Mag

Ceiling people are watching you have sex. – LOVE ANDERSON

Runners-up:

Just goes to show you that there is nothing unnatural about drunken alley sex with some strange pussy. – DUDE

I can haz nuclear spermz? – El Bastardo

Betty Owen – Betty of San Antonio, TX is 92, needs a feeding tube and can’t walk after suffering a stroke four years ago. She didn’t let that stop her from voting yesterday. Betty put on her voting day best and was transported to the polling place on a gurney and in an ambulance. An election judge and poll worker climbed into the ambulance and helped her vote. Her daughter got her the ambulance after she couldn’t get Betty an absentee ballot. Betty said the first time she voted was in 1940 for Republican candidate Wendell Willkie. This time she voted for Obama.

For Madam Prince

Tilda Swinton (48)
Kevin Jonas (21)
BoA (22)
Ryan Adams (34)
Javier Lopez (38)
Sam Rockwell (40)
Judy Reyes (41)
Famke Janssen (43)
Tatum O’Neal (45)
Bryan Adams (49)
Mo Gaffney (50)
Robert Patrick (50)
Kris Jenner (53)
Howard McGillin (55)
Sam Shepard (65)
Art Garfunkel (67)

Fuck, yes! Well, that’s that! You know Elisabeth Hasselcrack just exploded! Now we can finally get back to the important things like Brit Brit and the Crackie of Camden!