The Bionic Woman May Return to TV

January 3, 2007 / Posted by:

NBC has greenlit a one-hour pilot for a remake of The Bionic Woman. The 1976 classic TV show starred Lindsay Wagner as Jaime Sommers, a female cyborg spy. The network gave a cast-contingent order to the pilot. No word yet on when shooting will begin or who will star as the title role.

The original was a spin-off of The Six Million Dollar Man. It followed Jaime Sommers, a tennis champion, after she’s almost killed in an accident. The U.S. Government saves her ass by giving her fake parts with special superhuman powers. She uses these powers to battle fembots and spies. Lindsay Wagner won an Emmy for her work.

Ugh, here we go again. Ruining a classic! There’s a lot of talented hos out there that can come up with original and interesting ideas. Why do we need to bring the past back? That being said, I really think CoCo should play the title role. That’s just my idea and I think it’s brilliant.

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Parasite Hilton Gets a Load to the Face

January 3, 2007 / Posted by:

TMZ has this amazing picture of Parasite Hilton promoting her album at Pure in Las Vegas a couple of months ago. Apparently, someone in the audience felt the way most of the World feels and chose to show it. Homegirl got a load to the face she isn’t used to. Someone threw an ice-cube at her ass! Stupid ho is still smiling. Her face is so desensitized from loads to the faces that she doesn’t even know what it is! I’m surprised her tongue didn’t suddenly go into action and try to suck it up like the damn piece of trash she is.

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The Ugliest Portrait Ever

January 3, 2007 / Posted by:

Yeah I know there’s a lot of Britney Spears posts today, but this will be the last one…this hour. Anyway, Brit Brit apparently want to show off her body in a new painting she’s having commissioned. Brit thinks she looks “awesome hot” after giving birth to Jayden James and wants to show it off.

A source said, “Britney’s been getting in better and better shape since she split with Kevin and wants her body immortalised in a portrait. She loves the film ‘Titanic’, especially the scene where Kate Winslet’s character Rose gets painted in the nude. She wants it tastefully done, though, and is looking for the right artist to do it.”

Do they have airbrushing for portraits? Let’s hope it’s done in Picasso style. At least that way she’ll look sort of hot. Poor ho, she would look hot if she didn’t show off her thighs and gut. Umm..Kate Winslet in Titanic? More like the ship itself!

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Blessed Angelina

January 3, 2007 / Posted by:

Artist Kate Kretz has created this painting she calls “Blessed Art Thou” which will be displayed at the Miami Art Fair this Friday and Saturday. She describes it on her blog:

This painting addresses the celebrity worship cycle. The title, “Blessed Art Thou”, is taken from a line in the Catholic prayer “Hail Mary”: “…blessed art thou among women”. Our culture is deifying celebrities, but in the bible, it is the meek who are blessed, so the title presents a question for the viewer to ponder.

I chose a setting where the cycle begins: psychologically oppressive environments like this one are one of the feeding sources for the consumer, hungry for “information” about the celebrity’s private life. I am interested in the psychological ramifications of celebrity worship, particularly as they relate to class.

Angelina Jolie was chosen as the subject because of her unavoidable presence in the media, the world-wide anticipation of her child, her “unattainable” beauty and the good that she is doing in the world through her example, which adds another layer to the already complicated questions surrounding her status.

The “Virgin” and Zahara figures are loosely based on a Van Dyck Virgin painting, and the Maddox figure’s pose is borrowed from a Raphael painting.

Ok most of that talk is a little too smart for me to comprehend. I’m just blushing at the site of Maddox peen. I mean that’s not something I wanted to see like ever. Actually, is that even Maddox? Is that even Zahara? I think those are stand-ins.

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