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Blonde.... hairy... sturdy... and built for multiple wild rides... Alex Rodriguex just fell in love.
Billionaire owner of everything Richard Branson and billionaire owner of everything Tony Fernandes made a little bet in 2010. Since both of them are owners of an airline and a Formula One racing team, they bet that whoever's F1 team loses to the other has to serve as a flight attendant on the winner's airline. Richard Branson lost, so today, the men all paused when he walked onto an AirAsia plane to serve drinks on a flight from Perth to Kuala Lumpur.
While firmly tucked and puckered up, Richard served drinks, handed out meals and made announcements. Yahoo! says that the flight also helped raise money for an Australian charity for hospitalized children. Tony Fernandes told reporters that Miss Richard's flight attendant skills get a 1 out of 10 and Miss Richard said that he can't wait to get into his regular clothes.
"[I'm] glad to have gotten the bet over with and (am) looking forward to getting back into my clothes. I always wanted to be an air hostess, but it looks like I have to get back to normality.
Uh huh.... Richard Branson is really trying to make us believe that he didn't join the Mile High Club with his own reflection in the lavatory. You know he was all up on himself. You know his tuck came undone when he spilled his juice all over Tony. He loves it.
But seriously, Richard should always wear his hair like that, because it is the look.
NBC announced today that when Jimmy Fallon takes over The Tonight Show from Jay Leno, Seth Meyers will slide into Jimmy's spot as the host of Late Night. Yeah, typing that made me picture Seth sliding into Jimmy's spot and I don't know how I feel about that image.
Because what late night really needs is more white men, Seth will take over Late Night next spring and Lorne Michaels will executive produce. Here's what the head bitch at NBC had to say about this:
“We think Seth is one of the brightest, most insightful comedy writers and performers of his generation. His years at SNL‘s Weekend Update desk, not to mention being head writer of the show for many seasons, helped him hone a topical brand of comedy that is perfect for the Late Night franchise”.
Charles Ramsey, Tan Mom and Sweet Brown were all ROBBED! Since Up All Night was finally thrown into the dead pile, I was hoping that Maya Rudolph as Ava would host Late Night... Oh well, hopefully this means that Stefan will finally take over Weekend Update. It's his destiny.
In the fame whore dictionary, the definition of "recluse" is totally different than the definition in the dictionary all of us use. Because Kim Kartrashian thinks that a "recluse" is a shameless 24-hour spotlight fucker who spends more time in front of a camera than behind a camera, gives the paps several servings of her knocked up kamel toe daily and poses in a bikini for the cover of Recluse Weekly (known to you and me as UsWeekly). Kim tells the UK's Fabulous Magazine (via HuffPo) that ever since Gay Fish's sperm fish were turkey basted up into her baby making parts, she has become even more of a recluse. Well, you can't say the word "recluse" without saying "wreck" and "loose," so the heffa might have a point.
"I'm definitely more of a recluse since I was pregnant. But I haven't necessarily decided to hold myself back, it's just preparing myself for respecting the privacy of my child and my boyfriend.
There goes Kim throwing out words she doesn't know the true meaning of! Ho wouldn't know "respect" or "privacy" if they were both shaped like a boomerang and tapped her on the ass cheeks in a straight-to-Vivid sex tape. Kim then goes on to say some stuff that makes me think that her and Kanyetta West's contract is coming to an end soon.
"We live different lives, but I love being open. That's who I've always been. That will never change because that is who I am."
Yes, Kim, we've seen you be all open around Ray-J's crooked crowbar dick, so we know how open you are. It made you a STAH! And really, Kim is just setting up her inevitable split from Kanye. We all know how this is going to go. Pimp Mama Kris is going to get even more tabloid covers and non-stop coverage on TMZ by turning this into an all-out kustody battle. PMK will want full custody of Baby Kimye, because she needs a new generation of Kardashians to whore out. Kanye will want full custody of Baby Kimye, because he needs a baby to dress up in Givenchy leather skirts and he'll need a friend to play with when he moves to the French countryside with his lovah. It'll be like Kramer vs. Kramer if both Kramers were shameless whores.
And here's Kim being all reclusive yesterday and Kanye leaving her house with the head wound he got when he lost a fight against a sign.
Didi Pickles from Rugrats!
Tommy and Stu's mom is a certified HSOTD for a million reasons including her undeniable fashion sense, her puzzle piece hairline, her fascination with wearing things that look like condom rings (examples: her neckline, her socks, her glasses her bracelets, her dress cuffs...) and she's the only one (besides Cynthia) who truly understands my soul twin Angelica. But more importantly, Didi Pickles is a gorgeous ginger with hair shaped like an orange starfish after getting pulled out of a garbage disposal. It's like she's got the holy trinity of ginger pubes (Carrot Top's, Prince Hot Ginge's and Sheamus') on top of her head.
Happy Mother's Day to one of the best cartoon ginger mothers from the 90s!
And Happy Mama Je'e Day to all the mothers out there. I'll get drunk on pank wine with my mom in your honor today!
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Here's a video we can all relate to. Who hasn't wanted something so bad that you jump for it, cry for it, wait for it and just when you think you're never going to get it, you get it and then think to yourself, "That's it?!" I pretty much described 99% of my first dates.
And this little pooch is totally going to piss in its owner's shoe for being this cruel. (Strangely enough, John Travolta also pees in Kelly Preston's shoes when she keeps the sausage away from him by making him stay home.)
If you have a vagina, it's probably so squeaky clean that you can serve brunch off of it, because you're in the presence of mega douchebag: CRISS ANGEL! With his nipples out, a Bump-It in his hair (that HAS to be a Bump-It), his Diesel chonies showing and his belt buckle pushed to the side (because he's a trendsetter like that), the douche wizard shot an episode of his Spike TV show in Las Vegas on Thursday night.
I know Criss Angel's hair always looks like something you'd find inside of a cage in the trauma ward of an animal hospital, but his hair looks extra fucked up here. Dude's entire head looks like it's covered in clip-on bangs. Dude looks like Anthony Kiedis after losing a fight with a Flowbee or the derpiest Jonas Brother after getting his haircut by who ever cuts the Long Island Medium's hair.
Thanks to that Kate Gosselin circa 2007 hair and all that foundation smeared on his face, Criss Angel looks like somebody's aunt, but he doesn't look like my aunt, so I'd hit it. Typing that makes me want to dip my hands in boiled bleach, but the truth is the truth.
Back when Lindsay Lohan was planning to spend her court-ordered rehab sentence at the Seafield Center in the Hamptons, she was having second thoughts about checking in there, because she heard they were planning to rip her precious supply of Adderall out of her cold, freckled orange claws. LiLo didn't end up going to Seafield, but her worst nightmare is coming true anyway, because the doctors at The Betty Ford Center took away all of her Adderall. When the doctors came for her Adderall, it probably looked like that scene in The Color Purple when Celie and Nettie are ripped apart. WHY????!???
TMZ says that LiLo told doctors that she has to take Adderall, because she suffers from ADHD. But after a week of evaluating her, the doctors came to the conclusion that the only thing she suffers from is FullofShit-itis and they stopped giving her Adderall. They switched out her Adderall for something else that's less addictive. LiLo is now telling her friends (aka TMZ's tip line) that she refuses to let those bitches take away her Adderall and she wants to move to another rehab center that'll let her take her pill of choice.
Radar says that the judge already signed off on Betty Ford and he'll throw her in jail if she violates the court by quitting that bitch. Radar's source said:
“The judge overseeing Lindsay’s case has made it crystal clear that if she defies the agreement, it’s jail time. Judge Dabney signed off on Betty Ford and he expects her to remain there for 90 days. If she does, that will be a violation of her probation and the judge will send her to jail.
Lindsay is absolutely freaking out about the prospect of gaining weight now that Adderall has been taken away. Lindsay has been able to eat whatever she has wanted and not gain weight for years and she attributes this to Adderall.”
Maybe without Adderall, she'll keep the chunk off by filling her eating hole with healthy things and exercising every now and again. HAHAHAHAHA, no. Eating healthy things and exercise really is overrated. But really, we've been through this a million times before. The judge isn't going to ever throw her in jail. If anything, he'll throw the doctors at Betty Ford in jail for not giving her what she wants. Then the judge will transfer her to Shire Pharmaceuticals (the makers of Adderall), so she'll never ever ever be without Adderall during the rest of her sentence.
Hold my calls and shut the blinds, because I know what I'm doing the rest of the day.
Dozens of people in Colorado Springs, CO were temporarily blinded and struck down with the sudden urge to repeatedly orgasm today when Prince Hot Ginge's ass and legs went up in the air during a game of sit down volleyball with wounded service members at the Warrior Games today. The gloriousness was too much for some people's retinas. PHG can still makes b-holes pucker even when he looks like a gleeful bottom spider having missionary anal sex with an imaginary top spider. To quote Bill Murray in Groundhog Day: "It's so beautiful....let's live here!"
And here's the video of PHG going ass up and legs out today:
Johnny Cash must've been a future seer, because I'm pretty sure PHG's piping hot culo was his real inspiration for Ring of Fire. And it burns, burns, burns...