Why did I just discover this show? It debuted a couple of week's ago on the Oxygen network and it seriously is going to sweep the Emmy's next year. The premise is taking 7 "bad girls" aka drunk hos and putting them up in a Los Angeles house and giving them lots of booze. It's The Real World without annoying gays and homophobic frat dudes.

The greatest moment ever in TV history comes when Ripsi drinks a whole bottle of Tequila and starts attacking Kerry (the bad girl of country music) for absolutely no reason. She honestly chokes the ho and tries to kill her! The other girls rip Ripsi off of Kerry and put her down on the sofa. Ripsi passes out for about twenty seconds and suddenly gets up and starts throwing apples at the windows. She takes her fury upstairs and starts attacking a sleeping girl named Jodie (the wannabe Pamela Anderson.) I mean Jodie is sleeping and minding her own business when Ripsi tries to tear her weave out and punches her in the eye! She passes out and wakes up not remembering a thing! I mean...

I'm telling you...this show is the stuff dreams are made of! This clip is long, but it's worth every minute. Ripsi deserves an Oscar and a Grammy.

Click here if you can't see the clip above!

Mary Kate Olsen has bleached her hair out. Plain and simple. What do I think? I think she looks like a Russian mobster's wife aka she's hot. The purple fur, the white hair, the weird purse...it works for me. She really needs to buy a bugandy Cadillac to go with this new look.

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Britney Spears actually covered her stuff up to join her sister Jamie Lynn Spears at a Lakers game last night. Well, she covered herself up for a quick minute and then she let her wonky breasts come out to play. She still looks inbred in the face I'm sorry to say.

In other B news, her infamous belching video has topped the chart for the most watched video of 2006. The video was shot by KFed while she was on tour. B is definitely drunk and high during the tape. It certainly is a classic, because it documents an average conversation with this dumb ass.

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Lindsay Lohan has finally realized her future and has given up acting and is now stripping to make the rent. Ok, not really but she's training as a topless dancer for her new film "I Know Who Killed Me." Linds is working with stripper pro Sheila Kelly and will spend the next 5 weeks taking her undies off and actually getting paid.

She told friends in an e-mail, "They're all whorez, they're all whorez . . . xcept for some obviously! So . . . 3 hours of pole dancing and bruised. everywhere . . . I mean we're talkin' like, UPPER AND INNER THIGH ACTION-bruised . . . like a walking black-and-blue mark. I mean really though, really, I didn't know it was actually possible to have bruises in such areas of the body. Strippers dude, I tell you, I really respect the cuntz now. . . I'm not gonna lie to ya."

Using the word c-u-next-tuesday to describe women? Who does she think she is? Me?!

Lohan's rep confirms that she's stripping now, "Her character is a stripper, and she now realizes that the job isn't easy. We should give these women credit."

I would love to see the original script! You know her character is like a supermarket checkout girl and Lohan comes in and is like, "Ok, I really think it would be like (sniff) really intense (sniff) and important emotionally if she's like a cuntz of a stripper (sniff) you know like really cool and like real."

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Nicole Richie and a friend stocked up on graham crackers and donuts at Ralph's supermarket in Los Angeles yesterday afternoon. The fat girl is shouting to her "No! Not the fat free ones! The ones with buttermilk and lard filling!" I'm not sure why Nicole is buying this stuff. She can get full by just looking at it!

Image Source: Nicole Style

You know you’re obese when you have to strap a queen size Sealy to your crotch during your period - Grinchette

Runner-ups:

Ching chong ching chong Dan Devito ching chong - Elo

Jeez, give it a freaking break, can’t you see it’s trying to workout by touching it’s toes? - Christine the Hoff

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Jodie from The Bad Girl's Club

Brad Pitt (43)
Christina Aguilera (26)
Katie Holmes (28)
DMX (36)
Casper Van Dien (38)
Stone Cold Steve Austin (42)
Ray Liotta (51)
Leonard Maltin (56)
Steven Spielberg (60)
Keith Richards (63)

Nicole Scherzinger of The Pussycat Dolls at the Z100 Jingle Ball in NYC on December 15th and RuPaul. I'm sure Nicole is her stage name. I bet you if you shout "Nick" she'll answer to it.

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29-year-old Australian Carmel Sloane has taken legal action against Mel Gibson to force him to a DNA test. Carmel believes that Mel Gibson is her father. She claims Mel slammed her mother 30 years ago in the back of his car before he became famous. Carmel also believes her 10-year-old son looks just like Mel.

She said, "I'm not doing it for his money. I just want to meet the man I've always known was my dad — and for him to get to know his grandson."

Mel will have to either admit he's daddy or take a DNA test. Carmel's ho of a mother admits that she met Mel on the side of the road and let him dick wrestle her bagina. She said that she never heard from him again, but hasn't forgotten him.

She said, "Eventually he persuaded me to join him in the back. I told him, ‘If anything happens and I get pregnant I'll come looking for you'. He replied, ‘I am going to be famous. You will always know where to find me.'

I can hear this dumb ass say "I'm not doing it for the money." Please, so why would you care? Why in the World would you admit that a piece of trash like Mel Gibson is your father? I would do anything to hide that fact, but of course I'd hit him up for some dough on the down low. Why bother with a DNA test? They just need to show Carmel a yarmluke and if she runs for dear life then yeah...she's Mel's kid.

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