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I posted this Christmas classic about a month ago, but I thought I'd repost it since you really can't get your holiday started without it. Blohan's little sister, Ali Lohan, debuted her single "Lohan Holiday" at Planet Hollywood in NYC yesterday. She also celebrated her 13th Birthday. Her sister wasn't there, because she was too busy "playing in the Christmas snow," but I'm sure she was there in spirit.

Unfortunately, Ali Lohan is all sorts of fug and she can't sing worth a caca. The song is beautiful though and I wish all of you a Lohan holiday. So basically I mean I want you to get beat up by your father, OD on pills, fall down the stairs and have your mother ask you for thousands of dollars. Yeah, that pretty much sounds like the Holidays to me as well!

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Britney Spears hopes to be the first to comment about the fall of her marriage to KFed and is hoping to do so in Vanity Fair. KFed planned a tell-all book on his marriage and how Britney is bi-sexual and all, but Brit will beat him to eat.

A source at Vanity Fair said, “Britney has agreed to make Vanity Fair her first big statement about her new life.”

“The interview will be very frank. She liked how they handled Jennifer’s first interview after her divorce from Brad Pitt.”

Who cares what this ho has to say. I want to hear what her vagina has to say. It has a much more compelling tale to tell I'm sure.

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Parasite Hilton spent the other day tanning her used and bruised ass on some beach. She probably got the bruise from being gang banged by a group of fish in Tokyo. Anyway, Christmas has come early to us! Word around the grapevine is that this piece of trash is quitting music for good. Her debut album bombed on the charts and even giving bjs to millions of dudes didn't work to sell records. Sources at her record company claim she's done.

"You don't need to worry about listening to any more music from Paris - there won't be any. Her career as a singer is going to be allowed to quietly go away."

Merry Christmas to all! Now can they work on making her go away for good?

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on his favorite movie of the year:

"The Queen, Helen Mirren looks just like Queen Elizabeth. Acted like her! I thought it was very good." Source

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Gus Van Zant is the latest DUI celeb - ICYDK

Gisele Bundchen getting hot and sexy on a beach - IDLYITW

Kate Beckinsale slips a boob and ass - Egotastic!

Fishsticks is actually worried about someone other than herself - Popsugar

Even raunchier photos of Miss Nevada - Hollywood Rag

Jingle boobs! Jingle boobs! - Hollywood Tuna

Giant squid caught in Tokyo around the same time Paris is visiting..hmm... - SAYOR

Kate Moss is a witch - A Socialite's Life

One of the Pussycat dudes is dating that douche from Laguna Beach - Just Jared

What were they thinking? - Cityrag

This is the first image of the Silver Surfer in the new Fanastic Four movie. Fantastic Four: Rise of The Silver Surfer opens June 15th and stars Jessica Alba and a bunch of other people. The Silver Surfer is completely computer generated and voiced by Doug Jones. The first teaser trailer hits today. Yeah I know you've been waiting all your life for this, but it's a slow news day.

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Pope Eggs Benedict thinks being gay is a sin and wants nothing to do with it. The funny thing is may be one of us. Fabino Canino is an openly gay TV host in Italy and believes Eggs is gay.

He said, "Everybody knows he is gay, and his boyfriend is his private secretary, [Monsignor Georg Gänswein]."

Ganswein is blonde and hot and apparently the newest piece of ass on the Vatican scene. Eggs love of Prada has also raised some gay eyebrows. The President of the Catholics calls it baloney, he said, "So the Pope is gay because he got his shoes at Prada and likes to shop. Yup, that seals it. But does this mean that if we find out that Rosie [O'Donnell] gets her shoes at ­Buster Brown and loathes shopping, that she's really a closet breeder?"

I'd hit it! If I eff the pope does that mean I have a VIP seat in heaven? Wait, or in hell?

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