WHY, WHY and WHY?! Lindsay Lohan is trying to destroy us all. What is going on in her head, besides a rollercoast coke party? I mean....leave your outfits in the 80s!!! I think she really broke into my mom's house, went into the garage, rifled through the bags of old clothes and popped out this little number. I mean.....and hanging out with Scott Storch isn't helping. Anyway, that's how she spent in NYE in Miami. I'm sensing a lot of tension in the nose area too.

The staff at Sloanes Cafe in the Paddington section of Sydney were pissed off when Parasite Hilton skipped out on her $7.70 drinks bill. Paris showed up with Kim Kardashian and her pr rep. The pr rep paid for a hamburger and some drinks, but Paris ordered a couple of drinks and didn't pay for them.

A waitress at the care said, "She's got bucketloads of money and she didn't pay for her drinks. (Hilton) had a little chat with a waiter up front, then they all got up and walked out without paying."

Why didn't they arrest her ass? I mean they knew where she was going. Right after the cafe, Paris and clan went to her hosting duties at the Bondi Blonde Beer bikini contest. They honestly should've called the cops and pressed charges against her ass. She should've spent the night in jail where she belongs.

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Age: 59
Birthday: August 14, 1947
Birth Name: Danielle Fernande Schuelein-Steel

Original Date of HS of the Day: December 26, 2006
Claim to Fame: Superstar trash novelist and self-made millionairess!!

Where is she now? Still writing trash!
Why is she HS of the Week? She's completely self-made from writing books that are a piece of trash. She also loves to marry inmates. She's been married to two prisoners!

Awww...this photo makes me want to...HURL! Nicole Richie and Joel Madden spent their New Years at Ghostbar in Las Vegas. Nicole looks a bit used and tired, but she matches Joel. They seriously look like they just got up from the trash dumpster. At least they have each other. You know Hilary Duff is slitting her wrists right now at the sight of these pictures.

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Vanessa ManillaFolders dropped the F bomb last night during her NYE hosting duties on MTV. Fire this ho pronto! She was probably all excited from her man (Nick Lachey) watching her work. I say give this ho her pink slip!

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Here's the hotness that is Carson Daly at his NYE party last night at Rosleand in NYC. I'm not sure who the woman next to him is, but I'm sure her loins are just aching for his bug eyes to just attack her. Is he like 60? Seriously, is he?

Where do I begin? The eyebrows, the weave, the thunder thighs....Britney Spears tries to pull it together but it just doesn't come together. She showed off her tree trunk legs at Pure in Las Vegas for New Years last night. Fortunately, she kept her lady lumps to herself. She's sweatin up a storm. One of my resolutions is to try and be nicer to her and I just broke it. Oh well!

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Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian spent yesterday in Sydney shopping up a storm. Kim even looks trashier than Paris which totally boggles my mind. I mean Louis Vuitton purse and bathing suit? Homegirl looks like she got that in Chinatown. That bag looks like an usued prop from Married to the Mob. If you told me Kim Kardashian was a tranny, Thai hooker...I'd believe you.

I'm totally late on this, but I'm a drunk mess. Happy Belated Belated New Years to all! Hopefully 2007 will be filled with more dirty bagina shots and lots and lots of DUIs! Here's some pics of Nick Lachey and Vanessa Manilowhatever at MTV's Times Square thingee last night. It kind of makes me horny. Have a hot hot New Years day all!!!

xoxoxMichael K

Dick Clark