Britney Spears, SPF, his nanny and some other chick hit Trashy Lingerie in Hollywood, so Britney could buy some muffin and nipple covers. Some people think that it's not right for her to bring her 1-year-old to a lingerie store, but why? I mean, it's better that he sees her stuff covered up rather than bare. I mean, he needs his eyesight for learning and all. However, his eyesight was probably damaged at the sight of his mother's truly hideous ensemble.

Furthermore, bring me JJ already!

Source: Celebrity Babylon

Unfortunately, Paris Hilton will not serve any jail time for DUI charges. The piece of trash pleaded no contest and decided she would rather cop a feel deal than fight. Paris was given 36-months of probation, a $390 fine and she must attend an alcohol education program. Alcohol education? Do they teach you how to make cocktails? I like that, sign me up!

Paris was arrested on September 7, 2006 in Los Angeles on suspicion of DUI. If she completes 40-hours of community service, her probation sentence will be reduced to 24 months.

NOT FAIR! Homegirl should've received life in prison with no paroll! Not for the DUI thing, but because we're forced to look at her bird beak and wonk eye daily!

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At last Tuesday's Legends! premiere in Los Angeles, Charlotte Rae aka Mrs. Garrett from The Facts of Life has some words for the play's star, Joan Collins. Charlotte calls Joan "a bitch" and says she's "heard that she's very hard to work with." When shown the interview, Joan seems surprised and calls Charlotte an "old cow."

ELDERLY HO FIGHT! I say these two both get in g-string bikinis, oil themselves up and have at it like real women do!

VIA IBBB

Eva LongWHORIA almost gets naked for Arena Magazine - Hollywood Tuna

Mandy Moore and Zach Braff's depressed asses were perfect for each other - Just Jared

No more Borat? - Popoholic

Huge surprise, JP from Survivor is gay gay - Towelroad

Vince Vaughn's orgy - Cityrag

Britney Spears' album is going to tank - IDLYITW

Jessica Biel's ass (literally) on a boat - Egotastic!

Maggie Gyllenhaal's spawn isn't fug at all, surprisingly - Popsugar

Posh Beckham gets a deal - Hollywood Rag

Everyone is suing Anna Nicole Smith - ASL

Would you pledge your cherry to your father? Purity Balls are being held in cities across the country where young women pledge their virginity to their fathers. The set-up looks like any wedding, but instead of marriage the young women are making a promise to their fathers.

Glamour Magazine reports:

Welcome to Colorado Springs’ Seventh Annual Father-Daughter Purity Ball, held at the five-star Broadmoor Hotel. The event’s purpose is, in part, to celebrate dad-daughter bonding, but the main agenda is for fathers to vow to protect the girls’ chastity until they marry and for the daughters to promise to stay pure. Pastor Randy Wilson, host of the event and cofounder of the ball, strides to the front of the room, takes the microphone and asks the men, “Are you ready to war for your daughters’ purity?”

Fathers give purity rings to their daughters vowing to protect their purity. BARF BAG! You know if it was a mother/daughter thing it would still be weird, but not totally uncomfortable. I can imagine a poor girl having to look her father in the eye as he promises that he will protect her cherry. I believe in bonding with daddy, but this is just unnecessary.

Visit Glamour.com to read the entire article

Thanks Winnyfranfran

Heather Mills is denying that Paul McCartney has offered her $63 million and two homes as a settlement to end their ugly divorce. The News of the World claims that Paul put the offer on the table, so he doesn't have to go to court and answer to claims that he beat Heather down during their marriage.

Heather's attorney said, "With regard to the article in yesterday's News of the World, we would like to state that there has been no offer made whatsoever at any time to our client and therefore no settlement has been agreed."

Here we go again! What Paul should do is setup a "Deal or No Deal" type show and let Heather pick from different suitcases trying her luck. This is actually quite brilliant. I'm sensing a spin-off would be a good idea, "Deal or No Deal Divorce!"

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Behold! Here's some caps of Josh Duhamel wearing some HOT shorts and a gold chain from Las Vegas. Joshy isn't usually my cup of man meat, but I'm digging the shorties and chain. I can't believe the methface known as Fergie is hittin' this. She must've signed a pact with the devil or soemthing!

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TMZ has uncovered 4 "celebrities" that will take part in the 4th season of Dancing with the Stars. Bill Ray Cyrus (Achy Break Heart singer), Ian Ziering (Beverly Hills 90210), Joey Fatone (N'Sync) and Laila Ali (daughter of Muhammad) will all put on tight pants and rhinestones for the reality show.

The Duchess of Pork, Sarah Ferguson, was rumored to be in the cast but it turns out it was just that. Kelly Osbourne and Sharon Osbourne were also part of the cast, but backed out at the last minute.

The show will premiere March 19th on ABC.

Producers should've taken Ian Ziering's casting one step further by getting the entire 90210 cast to be in it. They seriously would, what else are they doing?

Brad Pitt owes his career to strippers - Mollygood

Cory Kennedy rubbing lotion on her legs - Drunken Stepfather

Marcel from Top Chef gets a bottle broken over his head by an angry viewer - LV Weekly

HORRIBLE REMAKE IDEA: Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher turned down roles in a remake of "The Graduate" - SOW

Posh Beckham will be too busy living the L.A. life to attend Elizabeth Hurley's wedding - ICYDK

I love a man in spandex! Jake Gyllenhaal should've left those shorts at home though and kept it head to toe spandex hotness. Fitness addict Jakey and his trainer spent their weekend morning working up a sweat.

Source: Celebrity Babylon