Paris Hilton to Teach Virgins About Sex?!?

Porn stars, Jenna Jameson and Paris Hilton have been approached to guest star in a reality show where they will teach virgins how to do it. The show called "Virgin Territory" follows virgins as they learn everything they need to know about sex and ultimately get their cherry popped. The show is produced by Kevin Blatt who also brought us Paris' nasty-ass sex tape.
Kevin has approached Jenna and Paris to teach the virgins how to do it. Ok, Jenna fine. Jenna knows how to get effed and is probably good at it. Paris sucks at sex and we've seen first hand. She makes dead fish look like....oh what am I saying she is a dead fish!
James Franco Wishes Lindsay Well, Doesn't Want to Visit

Last Friday, a rumor circulated that James Franco was the main reason Lindsay Lohan hit rock bottom and checked herself into rehab. The report said that James turned down her advances and Lindsay took it to heart and to the bottle.
James is currently doing the rounds at Sundance and was asked by Access Hollywood what he has to say about the whole Lindsay in Wonderland thing. He said, "We are friends. I hope she gets better."
He was asked if he was going to visit her and he kind of giggled and said "um...no."
It's a slooooowww news day, can you tell?
Oprah is Way Too Good for That

Rosie O'Donnell has moved on from Donald Trump and Simon Cowell and is now setting her sights on Oprah Winfrey. Rosie attacked The Big O for interviewing kidnap victim, Shawn Hornbeck. Rosie felt that by having the 15-year-old on her show, Oprah was exploiting him. Rosie wrote on her blog:
"after 4 years captive
a new haircut couldn't hide
his tormented eyes""ben
will not be appearing
on tv today
a moment of sanity"
Sources close to Oprah say that she won't be responding to Rosie's opinion. She doesn't believe in public spats and is way too good for any of that. Ok, this is a case where the media is blowing something up into nothing. Rosie has her opinion and Oprah doesn't care, cause she's richer than all of us put together. She can buy things to hide the pain.
John Mayer and His Beard Get Busy in Miami

Jessica Simpson and John Mayer reunited in Miami, two weeks after they went public in New York City. The two started their Monday by working out and doing yoga together at a local gym. That night they shared a bottle of water and sushi at Nobu.
A witness said, "They were talking and laughing the whole time. She was constantly fixing herself to make sure she looked her best for him."
John is in Florida to perform a string of concerts.
She looks like a tard and he looks like he'd rather be boning the cameraman! Actually, they sort of make a cute couple. I said sort of. I'm they love each other and the blind item about him is a falsity.
The Oscar Nominations!

Salma Hayek announced the 79th Annual Academy Award nominations today in Los Angeles. NO DREAMGIRLS! I actually agree with that.
And the nominees are...
Best Picture
Babel
The Departed
Letters From Iwo Jima
Little Miss Sunshine
The Queen
Best Actor
Leonardo DiCaprio, Blood Diamond
Ryan Gosling, Half Nelson
Peter O'Toole, Venus
Will Smith, The Pursuit of Happyness
Forest Whitaker, The Last King of Scotland
Best Actress
Penelope Cruz, Volver
Judi Dench, Notes on a Scandal
Helen Mirren, The Queen
Meryl Streep, The Devil Wears Prada
Kate Winslet, Little Children
Best Supporting Actor
Alan Arkin, Little Miss Sunshine Jackie Earle Haley, Little Children Dijmon Hinsou, Blood Diamond Eddie Murphy, Dreamgirls Mark Wahlberg, The Departed
Best Supporting Actress
Adriana Barraza, Babel
Cate Blanchett, Notes on a Scandal
Abigail Breslin, Little Miss Sunshine
Jennifer Hudson, Dreamgirls
Riko Kikuchi, Babel
Click here to see the rest of the nominees!
Aniston & Cox to Go Dyke

Jennifer Aniston has agreed to slum it at FX by guest starring on the series season finale of Courtney Cox's Dirt. Jennifer will play an editor from another magazine that is Courtney's arch rival. Page Six reports that not only will Jennifer play a lesbo, but she will share a kiss with Courtney. The finale is set to air this March.
Unnecessary and inhumane! It's bad enough that we have to see Cox pleasure herself, but now we have to see her lock lips with a prune mouth! The FCC needs to do something! Lives are in danger here!
Isaiah Parties with the Gays!

Isaiah Washington met with members of GLAAD yesterday. Isaiah is on damage control after he used the word "faggot" not once, but twice. He already issued an apology and he also agreed to meet with members of the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation. President Neil G. Giuliano said, "Isaiah understands that he is going to be judged by more than just his apology. He knows that his future actions, including the genuine first step that today's meeting represents, will demonstrate his sincerity in becoming part of the solution to anti-gay bigotry. As a parent himself, Isaiah Washington seemed to particularly appreciate the impact these words have on young people."
You know his ass was grossed out by being around all those gays. He probably had to think of "pink elephants and candy canes" in order not to call everyone in that room a fag. Isaiah should prove his loyalty to the gays by taking it up the hinder with a 12-incher.
CoCo is An Inspiration to Us All

CoCo and husband, Ice-T, showed off their style and elegance at a party held in CoCo's honor for Smooth Magazine. CoCo and her watermelon ass grace the cover and they celebrated with a party in NYC last night. She once again proved why she's the world's most refined woman. I think she should start her own clothing line. Women need and want brushed spandex, rhinestone boots and leather corsets.
CoCo not only is the camel toe queen, but she's udder perfection and by "udder" I mean her tits remind me of cow knockers.

The CAPTION THIS Contest Winner for January 22nd!!!

He looks innocent enough, but I hear he’s up on sexual hairAssment charges. - Sweetas
Runner-ups:
Finally, Brandon Davis with an angle less offensive than his face. - sargentpolitco
Diddy’s new source for fur. - Jason Click here to see NSFW version!
Thanks Kelly


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