Joy Mangano

Elijah Wood (26)
Nick Carter (27)
Joey Fatone (30)
Mo Rocca (38)
Sarah McLachlan (39)
Alan Alda (71)

Thankfully, she's NOT nekkid in the magazine.

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First of all, what the hell kind of GD outfit is this?! Hookers from space! Second of all, did Paris Hilton get some help from the plastic Gods in the boobage area? Maybe she's using chicken cutlets or possibly her herpes has taken a rare form in the chest area, swelling everything up. Most likely, she's just using a Wonderbra.

Someone take that headband and put it around her neck and pull tightly...please? Anyway, here's her heinous leaving Mr. Chow in Beverly Hills on January 25th.

Let me ask y'all a serious question. Is Hulk Hogan hot? Like you would let him take that? I'm on the border and that scares me. Part of me says "HELLZ NAW" and the other says "Yeah, why not." That's the sign of a true straight-up HO! Anyway, here's Papa Hogan and some German tranny hooker aka Brooke Hogan at the Ultimate Fighting Championships two eves ago.

Unfortunately, La Toya Jackson's big return isn't so big. CBS has pulled Armed and Famous effective immediately. The reality show starred La Toya Jackson, Erik Estrada, Jack Osbourne and two other nobodies. The "celebrities" trained as police officers in Muncie, Indiana and then worked the beat. The show has been performing to poor ratings. No word yet on what CBS will do with the three remaining episodes.

Re-runs of CSI:NY and Criminal Minds will play in its place. Ouch.

What's more surprising is that the show lasted this long! I have totally forgotten about it and didn't realize it was even on anymore. Poor La Toya....she'll always have....her looks..err..no...um...her talent....well..no...um...hmm....

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Harvey Price! Oh yes, the spawn of Jordan and Dwight Yorke beat out 364 other hot sluts to take the top honor! Being the Hot Slut of the Year basically means that he's Dlisted's favorite person ever! 2005's Hot Slut of the Year, Bai Ling, must now hand over her title to the lovely Harvey. Thanks to all of you that voted and made Harvey's dreams come true, probably not, but one can dream.

I hope 2007 is much better on Harvey than 2006 was!

Artist Hackworth Ashley has made my nightmare come true and depicted Paris Hilton with a huge, thick penis. I'd suck on that. Ok, that's gross. Anyway, Hackworth Ashley is known for taking popular pop culture figures and like making them meaningful or something. Here's what he had to say about Paris with a Penis!

The painting is an anti-war, anti-escalation of anything like war......the shirt says in Hebrew Mene Mene Tekel Parsin....which is basically saying that America is Babylon. It's specifically about whats going on with Iran and the U.S. and the nuclear program over there. Our government has squandered 1.2 trillion dollars on war that we could be using for health care and education and they are looking for more war.The hebrew phrase is from the Bible about the fall of Babylon.

Ok, so basically it means something smart...but I like it cause I like seeing this ho with a dick! You know she'd suck the hell out of it if she had one. Visit Hackworth's site to see many more similiar paintings.

Jessica Simpson and John Mayer stopped in Miami yesterday while John tours Florida. They checked into the Four Seasons hotel after arriving from Jacksonville. Jessica is expected to stay with him for two and half weeks. After Florida, they will go to Baton Rouge, Memphis, Oklahoma City and other cities in the South.

Jessica is due to perform with Willie Nelson on February 10th in Dallas.

Remind me again why I care so much? Furthermore, what the hell is she wearing?

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Hayden Panettiere aka the cheerleader from Heroes promised us a music career and this is what we get. Hayden's put out some sappy ballad called "I Still Believe" for Disney's Cinderella 3. Why is a Cinderella 3 even necessary? I mean didn't the story end in part 1? WTF? Cinderella sells her cooch to the Prince and lives in that castle with a glass car and talking rats what else do we need to know? I mean does Cinderella develop a crack problem and has to go to Betty Ford? Seriously and Hayden's song for it is even more unnecessary.

VIA ONTD