NO! Not that kind of pussy! Get your mind out of the tuna can. I think I've found a girlfriend for Hercules! I really hope he's a rice queen, because this fat ho hails from China! She's super famous there and known as "SUPER FAT CAT." She puts Hercules to shame with 37-pounds on her frame.

Her owner feeds her one steamed roll and half a bowl of chicken hearts each day, polished off with a side order of pork. He says her diet makes her extremely grouchy.

She's probably grouchy, because she has a 34-inch waist! This fat pussy is so fat that she can't lower her head to eat from her bowl. SOMEONE CALL JENNY! Actually, I know why he's fattening her ass up! I know how they roll it in China.

Source
Thanks Jacki

UPDATE - The ho behind the smile is after the jump. Congrats to darknesa for being the first to get it right.

MASI OKA from Heroes

Here's a pretty stupid video of Britney Spears at a gas station before going to Las Vegas. Homegirl has to poop really bad. Ok, maybe she has to pee.....through her ass! The paps are nice people offering to pump her gas for her :)

Source: CP

Is Meg Ryan's tire face puckering up to Matthew Perry? - ICYDK

Lindsay Lohan backs out of a film to focus on herself - Glitterati

Don Vito's in big trouble for groping three youngins - ONTD

Whitney Houston wants to get this divorce over with - People

Chris Tucker needs to check himself - SOW

An Early Spring!!!!!!! - Towleroad

These are some new promo shots for JLo's upcoming album. To quote one of Mariah Carey's friends (about her Playboy cover) "These look like they've been photoshopped in a wind tunnel."

Source: ICYDK

Mariah Carey tells Playboy Magazine that she doesn't know why Eminem is obsessed with her. A few years ago the two apparently hooked up and Eminem played voice mails that Mimi left him during one of his concerts.

She said, "Something is clearly askew with him and I'm not quite sure what it is. I just heard something else he recently said about me. I'm curious as to why he's so obsessed with me. I never got an apology letter, by the way. ... Then, again, I wasn't exactly searching my mailbox for it."

Thankfully, Mimi keeps her saggy octaves to herself in the magazine and doesn't bare all. Why is she still talking about Eminem? Next she's going to tell us that her dog Jack has millions of websites devoted to him! Save it! Put it in the bank!

Source

Denise Richards smiled for the cameras with both sets of lips while on vacation in Maui with Richie Sambora. Relax, it's just a little vag.

See them after the jump!

UPDATE - Here's some pics of Denise looking like she's snorting coke on the beach, although I think she's just putting lip gloss on. I mean is she that stupid to snort out in public when she knows the paps are on her ass? (Thanks Tammy)

Source: Flynet

Yes, I know stunningest is not a word, but I'm not known for amazing use of the English language. Hell, even proper use of the English language. Anyway, I'll say it again! Charlize Theron is perfect. She's gorgeous and she loves the herb. Here she is at last night's DKNY JEANS presentation of "East of Havana" which Charlize is a part of.

When Sienna Miller isn't busy beating down paps in hooker boots, she's helping people! She's really a good person. In NYC yesterday, Sienna helped a man in a wheelchair.

The man was probably like "Why is this dirty prostitute helping me? SUCIO!"

If this rumor is true, Britney Spears needs to be put in a mental hospital STAT! Oh and make sure that mental hospital has a fat wing, because she needs help with those thunder thighs. Anywayz, TMZ is reporting that sources are saying Britney has been burning up KFed's celly to try and get his love back. These sources also say that Brit Brit is using Isaac Cohen to make KFed totally jealous.

I'm guessing these sources are named...Kevin and Federline. Just a hunch!

Friends of Brit say that this is completely untrue and she's really over KFed. They also say that rumors of a $25 million settlement has been grossly exaggerated by like "25 times" they say. Ouch, only $1 million?

In other KFed/Brit news the couple will continue to share custody of JJ and SPF. Their January agreement has been extended to February so now you can breathe easy knowing that these boys are in capable hands....or something?