Drew Barrymore cleans up nicely. It's a shame she wore a dress made of dyed toilet paper. Baby caca tp! Anyway, she attended the premiere of her film "Lucky You" last night at Tribeca. The movie looks god awful. It looks like something made in the early 90s. Drew stars with Eric Bana in the film about gamblers. Is it just me or does Eric sort of look like Corey  Feldman? 

 

 

 

 

Yesterday, Keira Knightley told us that she would rather look like Beth Ditto than her anorexic self . Today, she's telling us that she doesn't want to be famous anymore. 

 

She decided to give a public interview to tell the world that she hates being famous. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. She said,

 

 

Less talk, more action sweetheart! I feel for you, darling. It's really difficult being rich, beautiful, young and getting whatever you want, whenever you want it. Those children dying in Africa really should tell themselves to stop being so selfish, because Keira has it so hard.

 

I'd switch places with her ass in a second! All she has to do is pout and say some lines and she cashes a million dollar check! The only price she pays is getting made fun and having people gossip about you. That happens to all of us anyway, but we don't get millions of dollars for it!

 

Source: Daily Mail

 

 

 

 

 

A Dlisted reader wrote me last week about "wonk eye" surgery. She said she had it and that it was painless and only cost around $1,5000. Her insurance even covered it. So why haven't Lucy Liu or Parasite gone under the knife? I love Lucy, so I'm not going to touch that....but Paris?!

 

You'd think this vain bitch would fix the beak and the pirate eye. Maybe she thinks she's perfect, but if that's the case she's in a world of delusion. Even that acid-trip dress can't hide the fact that her left eye is working overtime for the right eye!

 

 

 

 

According to Page Six Neve Campbell will marry longtime-boyfriend John Light in a secret Malibu ceremony this Saturday. Friends and family of the couple have been given "super-secret" instructions to the location of the event.

 

John and Neve currently live in London, but she's in L.A. shooting "Medium."

 

Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't usually "super secret weddings" for couples that people actually care about? They are lovely, but I don't think they have to worry about crazy fans and the media bothering their asses. 

 

 

 

Katie Holmes is currently away from Master Tom Cruise filming "Mad Money" in Louisiana. Sources on the set say that she's getting mighty close to her co-star Adam Rothenberg. The two play lovers in the movie, but apparently they are going a little overboard.

 

A source said, “They shot a scene in which Adam wrapped his arms around Katie’s waist, then the two of them had an intimate discussion. They lingered after the director said ‘cut,’ and it got everyone talking.”

 

It's probably the first time since she's been with Tom that a man touched her ass like that!

 

Tom's rep isn't worried. She said, "Oh, Adam's already been scheduled as the next sacrifice to Xenu, so this won't be a problem anymore."

 

Ok, she didn't say that. She said, “He is very confident in his relationship with Katie and supportive of her time working on the set."

 

Source: The Scoop

 

 

 

 

While wifey Brad Pitt was home with the kids, Angelina Jolie was spending a little quality time with her ex-lover Olivier Martinez. At the after-party for the Tribeca premiere of her film "A Place in Time"  Angie let loose on Olivier. The two were rumored to have a fling a few years ago on the set of their movie "Taking Lives."

 

A witness said, “She turned to him on the banquette and was shaking it in front of him. She was giving him a lap dance. She was looking over her shoulder, tossing a glance his way. It was very, very flirty.”  

 

Not surprising! Angie's vagina can't help itself. There's too much woman for just one man. It was only a matter of time before she started to get the itch. Brad needs to grow some nuts, but he won't. He's just another victim in the curse of Angie's hypnotic vag.

 

And the above pic was taken in 2004 before she became a skeleton.

 

Source: Us Weekly

 

 

 

Barbra Streisand will play her first UK concert in 13 years on July 18th in London. She already played a second farewell tour in the US which broke box office records. She has no problem with charging upwards of $1,000 per ticket for her UK show. When Madonna played London her top ticket price was $300.

 

A rep for Babs doesn't see a problem with this price, “Seeing Barbra Streisand in concert is a momentous occasion that ranks with seeing Sinatra or Elvis.” 

 

I'd pay more to see Elvis perform today and he's dead! Didn't Babs already bid farewell to the concert circuit?! She doesn't need all that money. At least with Madonna you're getting sets, costumes, razzle dazzle or whatever. With Babs you're getting some hag in a tired velvet dress singing songs that you only listen to in elevators!

 

Source: The Sun

 

 

 

 

 

Natalie Portman might be full of herself, but the reason I like her is because unlike her peers she's not making an ass out of herself every night. She's gorgeous, she's smart and she has every reason to be stuck-up. Ok, maybe not, but you get my point.

 

Here's gorgeous Nat at the premiere party of "Paris Je T'aime" last night at the YSL store in NYC. Ok and by "gorgeous" I mean the face and hair. The dress and shoes look like they were fished out of a thrift store bin.

 

 

 

 

Britney Spears returned to the stage last night at the House of Blues in San Diego. It's the first stop in her 4-city tour. BreatheHeavy reports that she took the stage 2 hours late performing at around 10pm. She wore a white mini-skirt and a black wig. She had 4 female, blonde dancers with her. 

 

The set consisted for 5 songs and lasted 20-minutes. She went through:

 

Baby One More Time

I'm a Slave 4 U

Breathe on Me

Do Somethin'

Toxic

 

During "Breathe on Me" she brought Howie Day onstage and the other girls sort of did a sexy dance around him. She lip-synced the entire set. Brit and company are expected to play Anaheim tonight, Sunset Blvd. tomorrow and Las Vegas on Sunday.

 

She didn't say a word to the audience.

 

Click here to see some video taken by reader Kristi!

 

I'm glad Britney is back or whatever, but 20-minutes of lip-syncing?! Some dumb hos paid nearly $150 for these seats! Oh well, I guess in this case you don't get what you pay for!

 

 

 

 

 

Next on Dancing with the Tards... - ohmy

 

 

smokey- Daaaaaaaaaamn, Deebo you got knocked the fuck out! - spankmyfrank