Cameron Diaz is Popular

Cameron Diaz told Meredith Viera what I've been saying all along about stupid celebrities! She said, "Life is like high school and celebrities are the popular kids." It's true and I'm still that stupid (but hot) fag sitting in the corner of the cafeteria writing in my journal:

"Dear Diary, Cameron's pussy smells so bad. I can smell it from here and she's wearing surf pants. Gross. I hate her, but her boyfriend is hot. Talk to you later..Michael."

Things haven't changed much! In other greasy-pizza-faced news, she told Meredith that she was operating on 3 hours of sleep. The reason? Cameron was busy watching some sex slime show! A source said, "The show had two topless girls rubbing slime on each other and wrestling, followed by a simulated 'sex show' conducted behind a silk screen. Cameron was staring the whole time."

What a lesbo. Dumbass probably didn't realize it was slime and thought the girls were just naturally greasy. I'm sure this made her felt safe and loved, because she realized she wasn't the only greasy human lizard in this world.

Source: Female First