The Holy Child Army Graces Gwen Stefani's House With Their Presence

Zahara, the twin messiahs, Shiloh, Kingston and Lunesta (or whatever that one's name is) were all in the same room together in Gwen Stefani's London townhouse today and Maddox was not there to keep those little moppets in check. So that means they shattered the chandeliers with their tonsil-burning screeches and scratched each other's face skin off (that's not make-up) while scrapping in their own toddler fight club in the middle of the living room. When the Maddox is away, the child army will go CRAZY. That is why Gwen Stefani looks like she just pulled her head out of a burlap sack full of rabid raccoons. Breaking up a toddler fight club will do that to a bitch.

Or maybe Gwen's hair looks like that, because she and St. Angie left all the chirruns with the nannies while they went upstairs to do a bunch of shit you definitely can't do on a Southwest flight if you know what I mean (picture me doing this). See, that's how Brangeloonie fanfic and blind items are born.