Tuesday, April 19th 2011

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For April 18th!

Every Rose has its pork. - Vern

Runners-up:

"Late Night Lovin," from Rachael Ray's Valentine's Day special. - WhiskeyTango

the "I'd Like to Pork You" bouquet
from 1-800-Sowers - WTFOMGLOL

Poor Kermit thought he was being romantic by sending Miss Piggy some anniversary flowers. Until she called him and said her cousin went missing - ReallyNow

via Instructables (Thanks to everyone who sent this in)

Posted by: Michael K
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juiceinla's picture
Submitted by juiceinla on Tue, 04/19/2011 - 12:45pm.

nice. the "I'd like to pork you" winner is not a rip off of an earlier post- not at all.

________________________________________________
lajuice.com - Sure people might hate me less, but where's the fun in that?

Submitted by ping4519 on Tue, 04/19/2011 - 9:40am.

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Submitted by ping4519 on Tue, 04/19/2011 - 9:36am.

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Sweetas's picture
Submitted by Sweetas on Tue, 04/19/2011 - 8:34am.

Congrats funny honeys!! Vern♥, I KNEW I'd see your hot ass up there, just didn't know which one MK would pick!

Vern's picture
Submitted by Vern on Tue, 04/19/2011 - 8:01am.

OOPS! Sorry, Didn't mean to be piggish-Congrats to my fellow Baconistas!

*chanting as always*

Vern's picture
Submitted by Vern on Tue, 04/19/2011 - 7:57am.

Yay! "Winning" is better than getting one of these babies, and that would be awesome!
Thanks for the love errbody, and my "special" whore, PERKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*chanting as always*

WTFOMGLOL's picture
Submitted by WTFOMGLOL on Tue, 04/19/2011 - 7:34am.

awww thank u .. I'd like to send a 'Pork You' bouquet to each and every one of you.

and two to Vern, who really made me laugh

snowpiece's picture
Submitted by snowpiece on Tue, 04/19/2011 - 7:26am.

Congrats ♥♥♥♥ to Vern Whiskey WTFOMGLOL and RN (AGAIN!!!!)

****************************
"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK

"Why won't you be perfect? Stop being so fat and lumpy. I fucking hate you, you cunt polenta."

angel_i's picture
Submitted by angel_i on Tue, 04/19/2011 - 6:47am.

LOL!

Congrats, winnahs!

♥ Threadkilla!
Kelly Osbourne! Eep!
Three Pop Stars, One Song:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6474802/three-pop-stars-one-song-with-...

ReallyNow's picture
Submitted by ReallyNow on Tue, 04/19/2011 - 6:29am.

Thanks, MK! Congrats winners--hilarious stuff!! And thanks OurMissC for your comment ;)

Submitted by WhiskeyTango on Tue, 04/19/2011 - 6:17am.

I consider it an honor to be included among you most illustrious winning sluts. Late Night Bacon for all!

*******************************************************************

"Fuck that guy for thinking anybody and everybody should want to do Glee." - Dave Grohl

OurMissC's picture
Submitted by OurMissC on Tue, 04/19/2011 - 6:17am.

Another great lineup of horz today! ReallyNow, you are kicking some butt this week! Congrats all!

I know I'm vulgar, but would you have me any other way? - Elizabeth Taylor

perky's picture
Submitted by perky on Tue, 04/19/2011 - 6:06am.

VERRRRRRRRN - Way to GO! Your captions had some real 'sizzle' yesterday! (Sorry, that was awful hahahahha) Woo hoo!!!!!!!

And woo hoo to the runners up, too!

Submitted by caprica six on Tue, 04/19/2011 - 5:59am.

These are funny as hell.

*orders 3 "pork-you" bouquets for the tards at the office* (hilarious WTFLOLOMG!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Okay, maybe we got off on the wrong foot"
- A Hinkley PG&E lawyer to Erin Brockovich

"That's all you got, lady, two wrong feet and fucking ugly shoes!" - Erin Brockovich (Hinkley resident) to PG&E lawyer

jack-n-the-hat's picture
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 04/19/2011 - 5:58am.

Congrats everyone, very funnay!
_____________________________________________
Here’s to a long life and a merry one.
A quick death and an easy one
A pretty girl and an honest one
A cold beer – and another one

iHeartHaters's picture
Submitted by iHeartHaters on Tue, 04/19/2011 - 5:54am.

ALL effing great!!! Nicely done mofos!! =))

~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♥~♦¤♦~♥~
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lnRDU4LdZE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t56s4dZ1_rs

WIGS EYES DO SHOW WHEN HER SLOT TALKS OR SOCK STOPS!! OKAY WOW!!

angel_i's picture
Submitted by angel_i on Tue, 04/19/2011 - 1:32am.

Buy your best bitch a bacon bouquet today!

♥ Threadkilla!
Kelly Osbourne! Eep!
Three Pop Stars, One Song:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6474802/three-pop-stars-one-song-with-...

Tyroan's picture
Submitted by Tyroan on Tue, 04/19/2011 - 12:56am.

FTD's Passover Porquet® was a bust.

Submitted by katsis on Tue, 04/19/2011 - 12:08am.

The producers go all out in luring Kirstie Alley to "The Bachelorette." But, the show was ruined when she kept eating the roses rather than passing them out.

Submitted by PinkTransAm on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 11:49pm.

The perfect "I'm sorry for calling you fat (even though you really are fat)" make-up gift.

******************
Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn

Submitted by PinkTransAm on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 11:42pm.

Alec Baldwin tweeted a picture of his Father'a Day present from daughter his Ireland

******************
Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn

Submitted by TimC on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 10:24pm.

“Where’s Papa going with that ax?” said Fern to her mother as they were setting the table for breakfast.
“Out to the hoghouse,” replied Mrs. Arable. “Some pigs were born last night.”
“I don’t see why he needs an ax,” continued Fern, who was only eight.
“Well,” said her mother, “one of the pigs is a runt. It’s very small and weak, and it will never amount to anything. So your father has decided to do a bouquet with it.”

sofster101's picture
Submitted by sofster101 on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 10:16pm.

I've always wondered how Kirstie Alley is congratulated after a performance on DWTS.

Nell's picture
Submitted by Nell on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 10:14pm.

Looks like Sandra Lee raided Paula Deen's Garten (insert Ina) in search of a meat themed tablescape.

Terryble2's picture
Submitted by Terryble2 on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 10:12pm.

A year after the Bernie Madoff mess, Kevin Bacon told Entertainment Tonight that, "Everything's coming up roses."

cliffdweller's picture
Submitted by cliffdweller on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 9:52pm.

Submitted by ProfessorVP on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 10:39pm.
Not a caption. Black? ;)

Submitted by GossipNaked on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 9:31pm.

When Donald Trump is sworn in as President, he will have bouquets like this delivered to all the leaders of Muslim countries.

Submitted by JazzyJane on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 9:15pm.

This bouquet from Opus Dei was all the incentive Vadge needed to leave Kaballah forever—

ProfessorVP's picture
Submitted by ProfessorVP on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 9:09pm.

Everything's coming up assholes.

Submitted by JazzyJane on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 9:02pm.

Well, where did you think they got the perfume from?

Submitted by hotsassypants on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 7:15pm.

Lamar knows how to make Khloé swoon!

Submitted by hoozer on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 7:11pm.

Since she's a Scientologist and all, Kirstie Alley enjoys Happy Eater day.

Submitted by hoozer on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 7:09pm.

The Flava Flav bouquet. Send them to yourself to enjoy with her egg whites for breakfast.

Submitted by hoozer on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 6:59pm.

Kirstie Alley devoured them gift card and all before anyone had a chance to see if they were from Britney's hamhocks or Paris' meat curtains.

parissucksliterally's picture
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 6:48pm.

The only time I got a better bouquet than this was when my Man bought me a half ounce of weed for Valentine's Day.

***********************************************
I'm not Mr. N SYNC I'm not what your friends think
I'm not Mr. Friendly I can be a prick if you tempt me
-Eminem

jalynne's picture
Submitted by jalynne on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 6:46pm.

The flowers were romantic, but Britney fell madly in love when her boyfriend whipped out the Cheeto flavored condoms.

McLovin's picture
Submitted by McLovin on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 6:41pm.

Happy Valentines Day, Kirstie!

Submitted by mcnightmare on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 9:48pm.

Roses! And you got me my favorite variety, "American Booty"!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Come Back As A Flower: Songs of Stevie Wonder" - w/Mimi Fox, Akira Tana and more - name-your-price download at http://tiny.cc/u5fa8

Submitted by becky n sydney on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 6:28pm.

Goes well with a fried egg corsage.

.
http://www.whosdatedwho.com/tpx_21333/marc-bolan/tpx_1652472

Andrei's picture
Submitted by Andrei on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 6:26pm.

At her wedding, Brit-Brit had to go down the aisle 20 times because she kept eating the boquet.

parissucksliterally's picture
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 5:32pm.

Submitted by briansdrivein on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 2:53pm.

Parker Stevenson's final, sad attempt to woo Kirstie Alley back.
===================================

I saw him while I was in Vegas 2 weeks ago! hahahaha

***********************************************
I'm not Mr. N SYNC I'm not what your friends think
I'm not Mr. Friendly I can be a prick if you tempt me
-Eminem

crankenstein's picture
Submitted by crankenstein on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 5:29pm.

Crankenstein

Kirsty Alley just loves to smell the roses, (in this case at least.)

AXE's picture
Submitted by AXE on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 5:25pm.

The real reason why Miss Piggy dumped Kermit; he gave her these.

AXE's picture
Submitted by AXE on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 5:24pm.

How do I love thee? Let me count the calories.

Submitted by WhiskeyTango on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 5:17pm.

In an attempt to get his job back, John Galliano sent bouquets to all of the Jewish Dior staffers, who were, once again, less than amused.

*******************************************************************

"Fuck that guy for thinking anybody and everybody should want to do Glee." - Dave Grohl

OurMissC's picture
Submitted by OurMissC on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 5:09pm.

Kelly's dilemma: Which would John prefer, these or anthurium?
(seen here http://facultystaff.vwc.edu/~presslar/CultivatedAnthurium/page1.htm )

Sweetas's picture
Submitted by Sweetas on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 5:06pm.

Bacon: now available in suppositories

tommyboy's picture
Submitted by tommyboy on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 5:05pm.

There wasnt a dry eye in the house when Dr. Hoefflin stepped up to Michaels casket and place a bouquet of all the Jackson noses in his hand.

Andre,could you bring me my fan,,could you bake it in a cake or stick it up your ass or something? I must have my fan RIGHT AWAY"

robokitteh's picture
Submitted by robokitteh on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 4:54pm.

Panty Fresheners by Britney Spears

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