Reese Witherspoon And RPattz's Sex Scene Sounds Hot

Reese Witherspoon recently WAH WAH WAHed out that she sits in her car and weeps mournful tears for the loss of her privacy, but ho really should be bawling at the fact that she's swallowed way too many tablespoons of sparkly vampire sputum. The lining of Reese's stomach now looks like the inside of a Twihard's chonies after they fapped with a bottle of body glitter to the leaked Breaking Dawn sex pictures. Reese tells InTouch that shooting her big fake fuck scene with RPattz for that movie about elephants with cotton mouth was not unlike making out with a toad's runny ass.

On the day they had to exchange fluids, RPattz's fluids had a little extra something in it thanks to the cold he came down with. Reese oh-so-eloquently put it like this: “Rob possibly had the most hideous horrible cold of any co-star I’ve ever had to do a love scene with ever in my entire life. He was literally snorting and snotting through every second of it – and it was not appealing. I’m talking green, infectious, disgusting – I’m not kidding! I’m going to say it’s a little bit of a downer. I was a little disappointed. It wasn’t sexy.”

Are we sure RPattz isn't allergic to Reese's ass? You know, a Reese and RPattz hump scene doesn't sound sexy in the first place, so him shooting mucus balls from his nose is just nature's way of barfing. Oh, and that chorus of squishes you hear is every Twihard getting down to Reese's quote. It's going to take more than green snot to keep them off the body glitter bottle.

Posted by: Michael K

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Submitted by Stessie1216 on Mon, 04/25/2011 - 3:50pm.

has no one read the book?

Marlena is 21 years old and Reese is 35.

How stupid do they think we are

Submitted by periwinkle on Tue, 04/19/2011 - 3:20am.

I'm just curious why this is a shot of Carla Gallo and Nick Stahl in Carnivale, when you're talking about Reese Witherspoon. *confused*

Submitted by patty cake on Fri, 04/15/2011 - 4:41am.

she married the proverbial slime of the universe..and AGENT!! and she is worried about a litttle snot? She is about to get fucked over again

xoxox

The war isn't working.

Submitted by patty cake on Fri, 04/15/2011 - 4:39am.

a second wedding that was like a first with a pink dress and another big ring.. REESE is a greedy baby and better stop complaining.

xoxox

The war isn't working.

Submitted by Milky on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 5:32pm.

Ewww. I never, ever, ever want to see Reese in a sex scene. I'd rather see blohan in a sex scene - it's that bad.

Submitted by Mozina on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 5:12pm.

The comments on here are hysterical. If you have been following the promotions for this movie from the beginning then you would know that the comment about Rob being sick with a nasty cold originated with him. In one of the very first interviews during press week he was asked what was one of the hardest things to film during Water for Elephants to which his response was when he had to film a sex scene with Reese and he had just come down with a really bad cold. Interviewer laughed, said no way, Rob said yeah, no seriously I was sick! Really, really sick. I had snot coming out constantly, it was getting into her wig. It was disgusting. He said Reese was a real trouper putting up with his constant nose dripping and snorting.

Once he said that, each time Reese was interviewed people asked her "so, tell us, Rob said filming the sex scene was disgusting because he had a really bad head cold". And that is how it came about that Reese is always mentioning that snotty sex scene. Had he never said that as his answer for being the hardest part of filming, then I'm sure that she never would have brought it up.

Submitted by becky n sydney on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 5:10pm.

Surprised she didn't cut him to ribbons with her razor chin.
You need danger money to suck face with Reese.

.
http://www.whosdatedwho.com/tpx_21333/marc-bolan/tpx_1652472

Submitted by dlaugher on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 4:11pm.

Submitted by Capitanne on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 10:08am.
This is the second shot Reese has taken at Rob. First, she confirmed the rumor that he is filthy and stinks. Now this. Good for her, the guy is gross. -----------------------------------------------------

Yeah, i'm torn. on the one hand, i agree with those who say why did she have to get so graphic (and mean). on the other hand, i appreciate honesty instead of everybody saying how great and amazing everyone is. seems like he was supposed to look dirty for the film though (he works in a circus...).

i know someone who worked on that movie that had reese and vince vaughan in it. maybe she wasn't nice, i didn't hear. but i did hear that he was a giant asshole and nobody in the crew liked him. i was kind of surprised.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Amnesty International
Shine a Light

Submitted by Hotmami on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 4:05pm.

I think this needs the "It's not easy being a cunt" tag.

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I set fire to the rain
And I threw us into the flames
Well, I felt something die,
Cause I knew that
That was the last time,
The last time
-Adele

Submitted by MyFingersHurt on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 3:37pm.

In total agreement with those of you saying you used to like Reese but find her grating now. She seems like a straight-up snooty bitch.

WHY did she share this? Did she think it was funny? Charming? That it would be good publicity for the movie? All I know is that when I see this movie (on DVD), I won't be able to enjoy the sex scene because I'll be thinking about green mucus...

Submitted by iHeartHaters on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 2:36pm.

Submitted by Raul Duke on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 9:22am.
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 9:17am.
Submitted by Raul Duke on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 8:59am.
Snotrockets are hawt!

SNOT ROCKETS IN FLIGHT

AFTERNOON DELIGHT
______________________________________________

When you're out huney and your nose is all runny,don't think it's funny cuz it's snot

LMMFAO@ all that^^^^^

~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♥~♦¤♦~♥~
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lnRDU4LdZE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t56s4dZ1_rs

WIGS EYES DO SHOW WHEN HER SLOT TALKS OR SOCK STOPS!! OKAY WOW!!

Submitted by DDT on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 8:04pm.

I'm just sayin' that anywhere I've ever worked, if someone was sniffling, snorting, hacking up loogies and whatnot, they were not only permitted, but ENCOURAGED to stay home and get better so as to not spread their disease. The fact that H'wood makes 2 people to do a freaking sex scene during this time is kinda mind-boggling to me. But what do I know?

Submitted by azgirl on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 12:26pm.

It is really hard to take her in a sexy, beautiful leading lady role. It just doesn't fit with her.

Submitted by Puppy Love on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 12:06pm.

I used to think she was pretty cool and grounded but lately she's coming off as a complete fucking bitch. Why would you share this shit & how can it possibly help the movie they have coming out?

She's grating now.

Submitted by Andrei on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 11:57am.

Dude, what a lame thing to say. =( Even if it's true, she didn't have to be so whiny about it.

Submitted by squiggles on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 11:56am.

Dude is annoying, no argument there. But that's a really bitchy/embarrassing thing to say and it doesn't sound like she was joking around either. So what. The guy was sick. She sounds totally disgusted. Even if she was, shut the hell up about it.

Submitted by Sexy Pants on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 11:53am.

yeah, yeah Reese, you're such a trooper. Bitch.
*gags*

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Really, in the near future most of the population will be directly related to KFed, Lil' Wayne or a Duggar. We're doomed. -MK

Submitted by DDT on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 11:43am.

*Gags* Surely they could've waited a few days for him to get over his cold? Not only is this story disgusting, but I would imagine she caught his nasty cold as well.

Oh well - Kudos to Reese for being a trooper!

Submitted by Mizzy on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 11:36am.

I could have gone a long time without hearing about this.

Submitted by Naked Chick on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 11:14am.

She never has a good thing to say about people she works with, much like HAGel:( But I give her props for her G.R.I.T.S. attitude. Bitch can be funny, it's just too bad about her personality.

Submitted by Bella on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 11:10am.

Seriously? Is this how she's promoting the movie, a love story no less?

Submitted by silvarga on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 11:06am.

I haven't watched a Reese Witherspoon movie in 10 years, and I actually really wanted to see this one.

Until now.

Submitted by Lemonaide on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 10:40am.

But I might also consider that they really do not like each other.

----------------------------------------------------

Reese doesn't seem to get along that well with some of her co-stars. I think it was Vince Vaughn who she last had a problem with. I don't like her and I never buy her as a "sexy" character. She's as fug and unappealing as Footface Pattison to me.

I loved the book, but I'm disappointed that the two of them were cast.

Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 10:35am.

Still want to punch him repeatedly in the face. Hard. Don't care if I break a knuckle.

And I co-sign on this, which made me LMFAO:

Submitted by louise_brooks on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 9:31am.
Submitted by cake coke and cock on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 9:20am.

Anyone else get a frying pan in the face vibe from him? Sure he's cute, but his profile is built like a street sign.

It's not just you. It looks like he slept on his face as a baby.

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"I'd hate to have to go around thinking of health & shit like that." Keith Richards, 1997

Submitted by Whatever on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 9:55am.

A toad's runny ass! LMAO! She used to suck face with Ryan Phillippe so she should be used to it.

Submitted by WhiskeyTango on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 9:50am.

Submitted by Pamela on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 9:54am.

I like his profile. I wouldn't kick him outta bed.

Yes. I was thinking the same thing. I usually can't with his face, which I don't really find all that attractive, but I so would with him in this pic.

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"Fuck that guy for thinking anybody and everybody should want to do Glee." - Dave Grohl

Submitted by nunya_bizness on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 9:37am.

What an odd paring indeed, you've got a weak chin versus a strong chin.
Do. Not. Want

Submitted by femguide on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 9:37am.

What a bitchy mean story to tell about someone.

** http://feministguidetohollywood.blogspot.com **

Submitted by WTFOMGLOL on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 9:05am.

Submitted by Slurpee on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 9:04am.
So which one fucks the elephant in this movie?

=================

not on camera, no.

Submitted by shandi on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 9:02am.

Wow, this makes her look like a real bitch. Has she ever heard the saying about if you don't have anything nice to say, just say nothing at all? I guess not.

I do think they are a strange pairing and the casting people need to seriously rethink why they did this.

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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK

Submitted by soapopera4cam on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 8:50am.

this shit looks like another TItanic, GTFO

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http://tinyurl.com/69rcrqy

Submitted by Morbidosity on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 8:45am.

I liked her so much better *before* she won that Oscar. Ever since that happened she thinks she has a right to talk.
Just stfu Reese and smile.

╚══════════════ ೋღ☃ღೋ ═══════════════╝
Yeah, Fuck it.

Submitted by Morbidosity on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 8:42am.

Submitted by snowpiece on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 10:08am.

Morb: it's the first time he's ever made my chocha stir, to be honest, LOL *hides*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Me too.
*move over a little-I gotta hide too*

╚══════════════ ೋღ☃ღೋ ═══════════════╝
Yeah, Fuck it.

Submitted by MundoLoco on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 8:39am.

What does anyone see in RPattz? He's is fugly. AND reese's chin and his feo face fucking? ew. Totes gross MK. Totes gross.

Submitted by snowpiece on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 8:38am.

Morb: it's the first time he's ever made my chocha stir, to be honest, LOL *hides*

****************************
"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK

"Why won't you be perfect? Stop being so fat and lumpy. I fucking hate you, you cunt polenta."

Submitted by Fucking_Classy on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 8:38am.

Submitted by NC-Ladee on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 9:51am.

I don't know much about either - but gotta give him props for his comeback:

To be fair, Pattinson did say this his favorite co-star was the film's elephant.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/04/13/reese-witherspoon-robert-pattin...
_____________________________________________
Ouch. I guess it's pretty safe to say that they fucking hate each others ass.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime; give a man religion and he will die praying for a fish.

Submitted by Capitanne on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 8:38am.

This is the second shot Reese has taken at Rob. First, she confirmed the rumor that he is filthy and stinks. Now this. Good for her, the guy is gross. In addition to being a dirty germ spreader, he looks like someone (Reese) hit him in the face with an iron frying pan like on Bugs Bunny. That said, Reese is dreadful in the trailer.

The book was great, btw.

Submitted by Morbidosity on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 8:36am.

Not going to lie.. he looks pretty hot in the trailers for this movie.

╚══════════════ ೋღ☃ღೋ ═══════════════╝
Yeah, Fuck it.

Submitted by Hekki on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 8:34am.

Submitted by Provolone: ""that movie about
elephants with cotton mouth..."

SPOILER ALERT: Gabby Sidibe drinks a gatorade. The End."

*rolls on the floor, busting a gut*

Thank you.

I'm sorry, but Hollywood ruins every good book anymore. Although I haven't seen "The Road" so I could be wrong.

Submitted by Datura on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 8:33am.

Submitted by cake coke and cock on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 9:20am.
This coupling initially struck me as ill-sorted, but come on, this guy fucks Kristen Stewart for a living. His expectations are as flat as his nose. Anyone else get a frying pan in the face vibe from him? Sure he's cute, but his profile is built like a street sign.

-----------------------------------------

I got dragged to Twilight for a girls' outing, and one of my mates said, "He looks like he walked into the door a lot growing up" upon Rob's first appearance in the movie. Now I think of that every time I see him.

*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~*
Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb

Submitted by chrissy poo on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 8:31am.

he looks like my hubby, so even with her gross out story i would still be more than happy to do naughty unspeakable things with him. :)

Submitted by Few Words on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 8:28am.

what an uptight bitch

i aint gonna see that dumb movie
elephant shit

☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.

Submitted by Sweetas on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 8:28am.

jacko - LMFAO @ "cotton mouth"!! True facts, tumbleweeds are blowing across it now lol.

OT *huah*huah*

Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 8:24am.

Submitted by guest on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 9:15am.
That would mean he was mouth breathing....um ew.
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With green snot = sinus infuckshun = stinky breff = voms.

Submitted by Pamela on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 8:24am.

I like his profile. I wouldn't kick him outta bed.

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Submitted by Lurker on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 7:03pm.
Submitted by Pamela on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 6:51pm

damn girl, you tell it like it is!!!

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 8:23am.

LOL at Sweetas and her bagina with cotton mouth issues!!
_____________________________________________
Here’s to a long life and a merry one.
A quick death and an easy one
A pretty girl and an honest one
A cold beer – and another one

Submitted by MJF on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 8:22am.

Submitted by TexnDoc on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 9:21am.
...Who plays her evil ringmaster? That's the meaty role..."

It's Christolph Waltz - the nazi guy from Inglorious Basterds. LOVE him!

~*~Hello, my baby! Hello, my honey! Hello, my ragtime gal....~*~

Submitted by NC-Ladee on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 8:21am.

I don't know much about either - but gotta give him props for his comeback:

To be fair, Pattinson did say this his favorite co-star was the film's elephant.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/04/13/reese-witherspoon-robert-pattin...

Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 8:21am.

Maybe he was sick of all the hos who wanna get in his manties, cuz I don't think he's feeling it. I think he has the gay and girls make him green snotty ill.

Ok, enough pontificating, I need some liquor.
-LOVE ANDERSON