Tuesday, March 29th 2011
As Fresh As A Spring Daisy Blowing In The Mountain Breezes
Yesterday afternoon, Lindsay Lohan showed a paparazzo why she's the country's premiere mug shot supermodel when she busted out the kind of poses you usually only see from a day-shift hooker trying to seduce truck drivers off the main road. Right before LiLo caught a private flight to New York, she posed in front of her house in Venice, CA with her friend Claus Hjelmbak. LiLo really is a chameleon. In some pictures she looks good-ish and in others she looks like the first place winner of a Miss Gollum contest sponsored by The Faces of Meth School of Beauty. What's LiLo's prize? Well, a walk-on role in Bravo's upcoming Real Housewives of Mordor, of course!
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In Lohan's case, "Nature's Discover card" is more like it. Maybe Nature's pre-paid phone card.
I think Swarm-of_Locust said it best. This is obviously a set up so that the little guy has proof that he has been welcomed to LiLo's "paridise" and gotten his money's worth. This has transaction written allover it.
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"I am not like anyone. I am ME!" - Elizabeth Taylor, Butterfield 8
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Besides needing to buy another vowel for his last name, Claus Hjelmbak also needs to buy some clothes that don't look embarrassing on a grown-ass man. If you're older than Tony Hawks, don't try to dress like a sk8tr.
Oh the bruises all over your knees Blohan...NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICE!
Wow, I hadn't even considered the idea that she is probably turning tricks to make a living, but, unfortunately, y'all are probably right.
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I'm tired of pretending that I'm not just a total bitchin' rock star from Mars.
Apparently the "establishments" that are still paying, I mean, accepting "nature's credit cards", are the ones who got the bank roll and like to party with the bad shit.
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"Bye, Whore" -MK
Those are the ugliest fucking shoes I have ever seen. It looks like she has 2 broken ankles set in casts. Hideous.
Maybe she and Alli are engaged in a competition to see who can age the fastest?
Natures credit card. LMFAO@!!!!!!!
Sooooooooooooooo.....did she just get done blowing this dude and the paps were there to catch her coming out or was this a set up?
SO many questions.
Submitted by SpiceDong on Tue, 03/29/2011 - 12:47pm.
how can Lindsey afford her lifestyle, you ask?
well she is obviously using "nature's credit card."
And surprisingly still doesn't get declined at certain "establishments"
And she is using it a little too much I'd say, hence the haggard used-up visage.
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Dying at "nature's credit card." Holy shit. =D
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
"Nature's credit card" hahaha!! ROFLMAO AWESOME! Yeah, with a giant annual fee and a horrible interest rate.
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I bet when they got back to their room he...no forget it. Even my fevered imagination can't go there. -joe schmoe
@Spicey
I agree the poor thing is most likely prostituting herself for "loans". Sad really.
She looks like she needs some anti-oxidants, a good nights sleep and healthy meal.
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Shame, on me.
To need release.
Uncontrollably...
I-I-I wanna go-o-o all the way-ay-ay
taking out my freak tonight.
I-I-I wanna show-o-o all the di-ir-irt
I got going through my mind
Cosign to all who are saying that Linds turns tricks to support herself and the other Lohan leeches. I think she's been doing it for at least 2 years. I bet that little dude told her he wanted paparazzi pics of him coming out of her house so he had "proof of sexing" when storytime happened with his friends
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Malcolm Tucker's Law:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xe3Ou9xBAlI&feature=related
Homegirl is my age, but could pass as my great-great-memaw.
Submitted by SugarFreeRedBull:"If I saw this bitch on the street, I'd try not to make eye contract before she tries to give me a bullshit story about how she is getting home to her kids, and needs gas for her van up the street."
and
Submitted by Eddie Van Hilton: "...She's starting to get "Ronson Eyes"."
You guys nailed it.
1) Hate those shoes. She looks like she has casts on both ankles.
2) Girl is HIIIIIGH.
3) So sad, but she looks older than I do, and I will be 40 in a couple of weeks. How does that happen?
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I'm tired of pretending that I'm not just a total bitchin' rock star from Mars.
Submitted by Fucking_Classy on Tue, 03/29/2011 -_________________________________________
Agreed. Just look at the deliciousness that is Julianne Moore. She's 50, and looks WAY better than Lindsay.
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Absolutely! Didn't mean to offend the fair-skinned lovelies. What I meant was fair skin must be pampered and the use of sunscreen is of extreme importance. Roasting fair skin in the sun and on tanning beds is just a recipe for disaster.
how can Lindsey afford her lifestyle, you ask?
well she is obviously using "nature's credit card."
And surprisingly still doesn't get declined at certain "establishments"
And she is using it a little too much I'd say, hence the haggard used-up visage.
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"I am not like anyone. I am ME!" - Elizabeth Taylor, Butterfield 8
·...¸><((((º>·´¯`·. ¸.><((((º> .·´¯`·..·><((((º>
Totally channeling the Scream by Edward Munch in thumbnail no. 4.
http://www.postcardsfromtheplanet.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/the-scr...
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I bet when they got back to their room he...no forget it. Even my fevered imagination can't go there. -joe schmoe
the seventh thumb looks like she fell facefirst into a vat of burn charcol.
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and, not a single fuck was given this day.
I've never felt so good about being 30 years old.
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
@Dog - I actually agree w/M.E. on this one!
If that prince from whatevercountry would pay wino to vomit and stagger around the stage, someone would pay to bone this freckled harlot, just for shits, giggles, and herpes.
(herpetic whi-lilo [whitlow] look it up)
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Cartman (singing): Whenever I see Jesus up on that cross / I can’t help but think that he looks kinda hot.
Faces of meth has a new photo for his website!
Are we sure she's in her twenties and not her forties? Look kids what drug will do for you... (Crows feet and bags? For shame Lindsay.)
damn bitch is homely without ten tons of makeup on...faces of meth is spot on!
I'll say it again, she looks like she stinks. Someone needs to hit this bitch with some bleach and a pressure washer. Firecrotch, indeed.
I wouldn't doubt she's turning tricks but the question is who on earth is desperate enough to pay to sleep with THAT!?
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Next time you want to talk to me, you call my lawyer. He's in the phone book under "Fuck You."
first Brit, now Blowhan. is it Sad Has-Beens Day at the D?
eta: what is that white stuff on her second toe? is that where she keeps her stash??
Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 03/29/2011 - 11:40am.
Oh man...
Naturally, I am comparing my 40 year old self to Lindsay. And smiling.
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You and me both. :-)
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
Submitted by snowpiece on Tue, 03/29/2011 - 12:16pm.
I like her shirt? There, I said something nice
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LOL at least she shaved?
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scaramouche, scaramouche, will you do the fandango?
@ You_Complete_Me
SOLD! ;)
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scaramouche, scaramouche, will you do the fandango?
I'm going to say I'm 100% postitive the blind about the troubled actress who's turning trick is really Blohan.
What the? She's actually posing for the paps? She's officially a less beautiful Phoebe Price.
DAMN GIRL! She's not even 25! Are we sure this isn't Dina? Actually, she looks worse than Dina......
I get such a schadenfreude high off of these Blohan posts.
I obsess a bit about the little, not yet noticable lines I've got on my face, and then Lindsay and her magical methface swoop in to save the day by putting things in perspective.
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 03/29/2011 - 12:14pm.
She looks like a ghoul.
UGH - co-sign w/a pen inked w/vomit.
Jesus Christ! If I saw this bitch on the street, I'd try not to make eye contract before she tries to give me a bullshit story about how she is getting home to her kids, and needs gas for her van up the street.
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Cartman (singing): Whenever I see Jesus up on that cross / I can’t help but think that he looks kinda hot.
Wow. Sad. America's Sweetest Blossom has lost its bloom.
My mom is 46 and she has healthier looking skin.
yes, it's obvious she's not subjected to random drug/alcohol screening ,why not?? she's higher than harlem here. who goes out looking like that anyway??
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and, not a single fuck was given this day.
She looks so awful. I'll think of her eyes every time I drop off a black sack of old clothes at the Sally.
Submitted by WhiskeyTango on Tue, 03/29/2011 - 12:20pm.
KILL IT WITH FIRE!
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You made me spew my coffee. THANKS!
Submitted by Kerfuffles on Tue, 03/29/2011 - 12:21pm.
Oh God. Discount tanner+meth+booze+ciggies+late nights+tons of make up have really taken the toll on her face. -------------------------------------------------
LOL and don't forget LOTS of dicks and vag too...that ages people real fast...that is why hookers always look older than they should.
So much for sperm being a good moisturizer.
"I am not like anyone. I am ME!" - Elizabeth Taylor, Butterfield 8
·...¸><((((º>·´¯`·. ¸.><((((º> .·´¯`·..·><((((º>
Submitted by snuffy on Tue, 03/29/2011 - 12:10pm.
Submitted by Athina on Tue, 03/29/2011 - 12:04pm.
"Our freckled, fair skinned friends do not age well."
... when they spend half their lives in tanning beds and the other half hovering over mirrors. I'm a ginger pushing 30 and I still get ID'd all the time, we don't all look skeevy and old by our early 20s!
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Agreed. Just look at the deliciousness that is Julianne Moore. She's 50, and looks WAY better than Lindsay.
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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime; give a man religion and he will die praying for a fish.
gee whiz...is this lilo or white oprah?
i'm over 40 too and i don't have those bags and those wrinkles around my eyes...hell, my mother is almost 70 and her eyes don't look like this...
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Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent...
Oh God. Discount tanner+meth+booze+ciggies+late nights+tons of make up have really taken the toll on her face. Remember like 5 or 6 years ago when she was fresh-faced and kind of pretty? What?
The third thumbnail is the type of picture taken of a ho before she's forced to move into a single-wide trailer somewhere up in the Valley.
KILL IT WITH FIRE!
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"Fuck that guy for thinking anybody and everybody should want to do Glee." - Dave Grohl
ATTENTION PROBATION DEPARTMENT!! PLEASE CALL THIS FUCKING WHORE IN FOR A RANDOM DRUG TEST STAT!
What the fuck is up with her jacked up hairline? And why is she only tan in the middle of her face? Ugh I can smell her coke bref from here.
look at her pupils....she is def. on some kind of opiate!!