Lohan: "It's A Name Of Integrity"
Michael Lohan, seen here with runner-up for Miss Downriver Trash 2010 Bombshell McGee, is making a sad face over White Oprah's claims that their daughters Lindsay and Ali are going to take a Magic Eraser to their last names. White Oprah violently humped on delusion when she said that Lindsay is a one name star like Beyonce and no longer needs the Lohan name. White Oprah also said that she's going to start using her maiden name Sullivan, because the name "Lohan" is TAINTED! Notice how White Oprah is taking zero responsibility for helping to cover the Lohan name with seven layers of fuckery and coke saliva. Anyway, this was a direct swift kick to the swollen asshole on Michael's soul and so of course he let out his feelings to his therapists at the New York Daily News.
"It's a real shame Dina would make up this kind of story.
From the time she came out to California, she's tried to put a wedge between Lindsay and me. Every time she comes around, she tries to put a wedge, and it's only harmful to Lindsay and the children. This family needs therapy."
I'm proud of the Lohan name. It's a name of integrity. We all had very successful jobs on Wall Street. My father was an unbelievable provider. My sisters are pillars of the community. There's not a blemish in my family outside of me."
Well, when the blemish is a cutaneous abscess that has fully infected every letter of the name, I'd say that's a pretty big blemish. You know, the Lohans should start fresh and all change their last names together. It will be a major family bonding experience. Since most of us use the phrase "is the fucking worst" to describe the Lohans, they can use that! Lindsay Isthefuckingworst. Has a nice ring to it. She can say it's Austrian. Fancy!