Zsa Zsa Thinks She's Next
Zsa Zsa Gabor is back in the hospital today after the stress of hearing about Elizabeth Taylor's death sent her blood pressure rising towards the heavens. Zsa Zsa believes in the three death theory and thinks she's going to be the third angel next to Jane Russell and Elizabeth. Zsa Zsa's husband Frederic Prinz von Anhalt, who never misses an opportunity to blow into the media's ear, tells Radar that his wife went "hysterical" after finding out about the death of her good friend on the news yesterday morning.
I bet it's some glamorous shit when Zsa Zsa rolls into hysterics. She pulls off her diamond clip-on earrings, shoos the menagerie of fluffy white dogs off her bed and grabs at the pink satin curtains hanging off the canopy while trying to find the light that will make her single tear drop twinkle.
Zsa Zsa's rep pretty much echoed Prinz von Anhtal's words to AP and said that she screamed out: "Oh, Jane Russell and Liz Taylor — I'm next." But her rep thinks she'll live forever, "She's not going to be the third."
Zsa Zsa (or JA JA as my Salvadorian mother calls her) is 94-years-old and has been in the hospital more than an objectophile with an appetite for jumbo wine jugs, but I still believe she'll outlive us all! The gatekeeper up in heaven isn't quite ready for Zsa Zsa to slap him after he asks for her identification.
Since we're on the subject of glamour, here's Joan Collins at the premiere of "His Way" in L.A. the other night. Joan is answering to those wig accusations by flashing her natural hairline. Even though Joan looks like she ran out in the middle of getting her hair washed, she's still all kinds of ravishing.
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This is Ms. Collins "I don't have to try too hard, after all I am Alexis Colby, bitch" look. You know, no wig or girdle. Only she can bring new standards to the term "slumming it." God love her!
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It's hard to believe any news about Zsa Zsa with the Prince still pulling the strings. Francesca said her mother never went to the hospital.
He'll never let her go with any kind of dignity. Probably too late for that anyway.
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Don't fuck with me fellas. This ain't my first time at the rodeo.
It would've been funnier if she'd said "I bet that old bat Helen Mirren is next".
I'm surprised Zsa Zsa hasn't already hopped her way through the Pearly Gates. I do like the way she cut through her meds, like the ageing tranny Rasputin she is, to realize two were down and she's circling the drain.
Submitted by Kerfuffles on Thu, 03/24/2011 - 12:46pm.
Submitted by chaka1 on Thu, 03/24/2011 - 12:30pm.
Conrad Hilton, didn't he allegedly rape someone once? My socialite history is not that good.
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Self, that was Zsa Zsa. Honestly.
I can see why Joan usually covers that high-flying hairline. Still, it's no excuse for using cheap, synthetic hair pieces. A nice scarf tied around her forehead would have looked nicer here.
I could care less about Zsa Zsa, as for Joan Collins, she's hideous. OK, not hideous, but creepy enuff. Ridiculous. Zero talent. Sorry for her fans...
Michael K, you gotta get outta my head!
I was just having lunch with a friend, talking about Liz Taylor and I said to her Za Za is next! I said it!!!
Even ZaZa sees it happening.
I'd hate to see her go, but she's been fighting so long.
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One minute you're crying on their shoulders, the next minute you're using your tears as lube to ride that shit and fuck the hurt away.- The Brilliant MichaelK- 3/10/11
Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Thu, 03/24/2011 - 1:00pm.
Mr. Mercury -- she probably thought she could flirt her way out of the ticket but Mr. Stripper Cop wasn't having any of it.
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Stripper Cop! Exactly! Wonder what happened to him?
"Seymour!! You said you'd never get married until you bought me an iron lung!"
Mr. Mercury -- she probably thought she could flirt her way out of the ticket but Mr. Stripper Cop wasn't having any of it so he got KA-POW!'d.
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now is the time for guts and guile ~ Dame Elizabeth
Submitted by chaka1 on Thu, 03/24/2011 - 12:30pm.
Conrad Hilton, didn't he allegedly rape someone once? My socialite history is not that good.
If I were her I'd want to be next. She must be in a lot of pain. :(
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Visit my husband's webcomic DUNGEON HORDES at http://www.drunkduck.com/dungeon_hordes
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As for Zha Zha, we all know Death is on her back patio, with his feet on a chair, smoking a ciggie, just waiting her out!
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"You're ugly and your fucking bag is ugly too."--John Galliano (allegedly)
Submitted by babybunny :...but it is our genes...we are usually miserable cunts
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LOL, I'm sorry to hear it is so pervasive. That would exlain my previous Hungarian neighbors. The 8 yr old daughter (or therabouts)gave fabulous cunt face. I gave it back to her once, and she doubled hers, I had to lol at her.
Please explain if this is also typical: Do they tart up the daughters in heels and short skirts for church too? Because I've seen that regularly. Once that 8 year old appeared on her porch wearing a a white sheer blouse, micro mini red skirt, high heels and RED fishnet stockings and proceeded to shake her ass.
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"You're ugly and your fucking bag is ugly too."--John Galliano (allegedly)
Submitted by Cunning Stunt on Thu, 03/24/2011 - 12:25pm.
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CS, I have seen a few of your posts today, and you are on fi-yaah! lol Does defcon1 include a sweatshirt depicting kittens playing with yarn?
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"my brows could subtract that WTF look on your face so move along"
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Thu, 03/24/2011 - 12:18pm.
she's 94, and missing limbs. How much quality can their be to her life right now? I'd WANT to die, if I were Zsa`Zsa.
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Exactly. Love it when you post shit like this. 100% agree.
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I love this picture of Zsa Zsa:
http://www.truelifecrimes.com/zsa_zsa_gabor_mugshot.jpg
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I CAN'T
Zsa Zsa Gabor has been married nine times. She was divorced seven times, and one marriage was annulled. Her husbands, in chronological order, are:
At a social affair, c. 1954
* Burhan Asaf Belge (1937–1941)
* Conrad Hilton (1942–1947)
* George Sanders (1949–1954)
* Herbert Hutner (1962–1966)
* Joshua S. Cosden, Jr. (1966–1967)
* Jack Ryan (1975–1976)
* Michael O'Hara (1976–1983)
* Felipe de Alba (1983)
* Frédéric Prinz von Anhalt (1986– present)
Due to her high number of divorces, she once claimed that she was a good housekeeper because every time she divorced, she kept the house.
While Gabor was still married to Conrad Hilton, she once admitted to having sexual relations with her stepson Nicky, a future husband of Elizabeth Taylor's.
Submitted by clutching-at-straws on Thu, 03/24/2011 - 11:45am.
LOL I didn't even know that. Priceless.
Gobbler, it's like a law somewhere that once a woman hits 70 she must commence operation old hag, which entails that dreadful eyebrow situation and lipstick on the teefs. And if you're at defcon1 a tiny curly perm and high waisted polyester pants as well.
"And you - scuff that luggage and I'll cut your hamstrings for you." Mallory Archer
Submitted by SugarFreeRedBull on Thu, 03/24/2011 - 11:48am.
Yeah. Then there was that whole thing about pretending to be Anna Nicole Smith's baby's father to get the monies... super, super douchetastic.
chaka1:
Yes!
And they both divorced their pieces once they figured out that the Hilton name was more name than moolah.
Everyone knows Zsa Zsa and Liz were upwardly ho-bile!
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parissucksliterally:
I'm certain that as long as Zsa Zsa has one good arm to slap a trick with...she wants to L I V E!
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Weren't Zsa Zsa and Elizabeth Taylor married into the Hilton family at the same time?
Glad they got out before those skanks were conceived...
Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Thu, 03/24/2011 - 11:48am.
hey anybody remember when she gave that cop a smackdown?
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Hell yeah! His name was Paul Kramer and he was a hot piece:
http://www.people.com/people/archive/article/0,,20121158,00.html
If you click the link, an entire page will appear. Mr. Hottie Cop is in the lower left corner, just click on that and get a bigger pic of him. Woof!
"Seymour!! You said you'd never get married until you bought me an iron lung!"
she's 94, and missing limbs. How much quality can their be to her life right now? I'd WANT to die, if I were Zsa`Zsa.
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"The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues."
-Elizabeth Taylor
Joan Collins has a serious eyebrow situation, and by serious, I mean dreadful. And, as ritchbitch already pointed out-lipstick on her teefs. For shame!
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"my brows could subtract that WTF look on your face so move along"
The only thing I believe here is Zsa Zsa is in the hospital. Period.
I saw a picture of her and with her multitude of illnesses the "watching TV and crying out for Elizabeth" is pure crap. If anything she was sitting in front of a fish tank looking for Milton Berle.
Damn, these classy old divas could teach today's celebusluts a thing or two about how to be a stunt queen without showing your pie goods.
"And you - scuff that luggage and I'll cut your hamstrings for you." Mallory Archer
Submitted by SugarFreeRedBull on Thu, 03/24/2011 - 11:45am.
@Jana - they have you identify bodies of people who die in a nursing home? I've worked in administration for skilled nursing facilities for a few years and have -never- heard of that. Did your grandma escape and have one last wild night out before being discovered?
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it was at the burial, in her coffin, before they closed the casket. That was in Slovakia. Do they do that in the US? She had insisted on being buried next to my Grandpa instead of being cremated. It was tough, she was skin and bones by then.
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IF: LOL re the kids
I wish I was the photochop genius but someone did it for me.....
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"How come everyone looks nice yet has the personality of Satan?" Irish Fury re Dlisters 3/16/11
"See you next fucking season, troll." TWOP Survivor Recap
on every radio station they're glamorizing Liz Taylor as the last star to have died. She did have an adulterous affair with a married husband, which she later married in Montreal, and did full of shit in her personal life. Fuck, 8 marriages = major insecurity problems.
But now, we must bow down, to the GREAT ONE. The last star of our civilization.
Zsa, go next, and we'll deal with these manufactured puppets next.
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MK How could you??!!! You've placed Joan in the eyes of the karma of 3's gods!!! No No No !! Take Prince Von Whothefuckeverheis!! Leave the Z and J alone.
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Yeah, Fuck it.
Ophelias evil twin - yes and he pressed charges!! He deserved the slap. It probably lwft him shiny and wrinkle-free for life, that ungrateful jerk.
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Cartman (singing): Whenever I see Jesus up on that cross / I can’t help but think that he looks kinda hot.
And is there enough soft focus in that pic?? She's been old forevah! Yep, by my calculations, she's been eligible for the senior citizen discount longer than I've been alive. Can't hate though, live long and prosper.
Ok, enough pontificating, I need some liquor.
-LOVE ANDERSON
hey anybody remember when she gave that cop a smackdown?
I think she'll be around for a while because you know God doesn't wanna deal with that shit, with him being busy and all annointing that little bitch Chris Brown.
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now is the time for guts and guile ~ Dame Elizabeth
@kerfluffles - yes - I hate that fake ass prince, too. Didn't he "adopt" a GROWN (assed, lol) MAN?
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Cartman (singing): Whenever I see Jesus up on that cross / I can’t help but think that he looks kinda hot.
@Jana - they have you identify bodies of people who die in a nursing home? I've worked in administration for skilled nursing facilities for a few years and have -never- heard of that. Did your grandma escape and have one last wild night out before being discovered?
Hmm...
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Cartman (singing): Whenever I see Jesus up on that cross / I can’t help but think that he looks kinda hot.
Submitted by Kerfuffles
Prince Von Asshole should go first.
Co-sign. Didn't he claim to be the father of Anna Nicole's kid? But his best bit was when he claimed two women handcuffed him naked to his Rolls Royce.
Such a totally believable picture. LOL:
http://socialitelife.com/caption_prince_frederic_von_anhalt-07-2007
@snowy, LOL! My kids ask about death and will I still be alive when they are [insert age] and I always tell them that I'll be living with them and they'll be CHANGIN' ME NAPPIES!
Payback's a bitch, kiddos! Throw me into Shady Pines and I'll give EVERYTHING to some random cat and dog home!
I love your Avi, by the way. Can someone do that for me and Brad "HE'S NOT NOT NOT GAY!" Coop?
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Dark-sided!
Raul's hopes to go out like that pic...all over some nice white pussy!************************************************************************************************ "Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree, and banged every guy on the way down?" http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/8867f06ee0/the-charlie-sheen-is-too-da
IF: Not me, I'll still be clinging to dear life, even when I'm just a head, hey i can still read dlisted!
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"How come everyone looks nice yet has the personality of Satan?" Irish Fury re Dlisters 3/16/11
"See you next fucking season, troll." TWOP Survivor Recap
Zsa Zsa only stays married to him because trying to divorce him WOULD kill her.
And what alot of people don't know is that Joan Collins is actually older than Liz Taylor and was actually the actress they would try to get when they could not afford or book Liz
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she screamed out: "Oh, Jane Russell and Liz Taylor — I'm next."
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There's no such thing as "Oh, Jane Russell and Liz Taylor — I will miss them so, they were such wonderfull artists and friends."
Noooooooo - Fuck 'Em, they're dead and I'M NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh God, I love old women! This is the exact same reaction I'd get off my aunties! ha ha
I really hate her fucking husband
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"How come everyone looks nice yet has the personality of Satan?" Irish Fury re Dlisters 3/16/11
"See you next fucking season, troll." TWOP Survivor Recap
Yes Zsa Zsa, you most likely ARE next. Acutally surprised you haven't kicked the bucket already.
Zsa Zsa is mutton dressed as lamb, compared to Liz.
And honestly, does she even have limbs anymore? God, someone pull the plug on me if I end up like that - zero quality of life and rushing in and out of the hospital. Surrounded by family with a very generous morphine shot and an excellent cocktail is the way to leave. I'd rather leave my way than when all my body parts have quit my ass and I don't know one person from another.
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Dark-sided!
Submitted by babybunny on Thu, 03/24/2011 - 11:22am.
oh, Zsa's as a fellow Hungarian, our lot in life is to outlive as many people as possible..are we happy about it..hell no...but it is our genes...we are usually miserable cunts and the happy ones get to hit the bar up in heaven while toasting to us dumb ass longevity gened Hungarians...btw, I saw Ms. Glamour Collins on Piers Morgan last night...she was awesome! Her and Elizabeth were very tight, and she almost replaced Elizabeth in Cleopatra...did not know this!
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My grandma (a GREAT, LOVING woman who helped raised us)) was part Hungarian. She lived her last 4-5 years in a nursing home, having to be bathed, fed etc. She had Alzheimer, didn't even recognize me when I went to see her. It was pathetic. She prayed to god to die every day. Finally she did at 89. I had to ID her body before they buried her.
When I read these posts about how easy Liz Taylor had it when she passed, and all the fortunes she had and how prestigiously she lived her life, or this drama cunt, I feel 0 sympathy.
I had to let it out.
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www.theanimalrescuesite.com - Click everyday to help animals in shelters
Submitted by Datura on Thu, 03/24/2011 - 11:14am.
Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 03/24/2011 - 11:11am.
Is it just me or is that a delusion of grandeur?
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It's not just you. They may have been friends, but I wouldn't put Zsa Zsa in a category close to Liz.
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At some point they may have been related by marriage via the vile Hilton fam. I think Zsa Zsa was married to the dad and Elizabeth was married to the son. I guess they knew each other. Maybe shared war stories.
Ok, enough pontificating, I need some liquor.
-LOVE ANDERSON