Creepy Or Not That Creepy?
35-year-old Tiger Woods and his new 22-year-old girlfriend Alyse Lahti Johnson, seen above looking like a joint art project between Proactiv and Faces of Meth, go way way waaaaaaaay back. Tiger knew Alyse long before she had fat-headed brows and the complexion of lasagna. Alyse is the stepdaughter of an executive at Tiger's sports management company. Tiger used to live next door to Alyse's stepdaddy for years, and so he's known her ever since she was a little girl. Alyse was a fan of Tiger's and used to make him good luck crayon drawings before his golf tournaments. And now 10+ years later, he's making sperm drawing for her! Ugh. That sounds like the happy ending of a To Catch A Predator fairytale book written by PedoBear.
One of Alysa's friends tells UsWeekly, "They had photos in their house of their family with Tiger, but Alyse never said she was interested in him!"
Tiger started slapping his Ambien peen on Alyse after her stepfather re-introduced at a New Year's Eve party.
Because the sideways fuckery of Hollywood has left me numb and desensitized, I'm not sure how creepy this is. Sure it's gross in a "Celine and Rene" kind of way, but it's not like Tiger kept the drawings in a special place in his basement and recently showed them to Alyse who noticed strange new Elmer's glue stains (smells like bleach and goat milk) on them. It's also not like Tiger recently got naked, grabbed a golf club, threw himself on a chaise lounge and asked Alyse to "draw him like one of her Crayon figures....for old time's sake" Okay, thanks to that last sentence, I'm convinced that this belongs in the CREEPY ASS CREEPY box. Ask Chris Hansen to inspect this mess when he gets a chance.
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Look people, what millions of dollars will buy you. Good thing I'm broke, and gay.
Wait, her stepfather reintroduced her to Tiger STD Woods? What a scumbag!!! "Young lady, I'd like you to reconnect with the nasty neighbor who has publicly admitted to fucking every loose slut, nasty skank, and cheap whore he's ever been in the same time zone with."
I hope her real dad (if he's around) comes up with some of the most evil genius payback plans ever.
hahahaha, wtf he completely lost it. this girl looks like if prince harry's sorostitute barnacle of a gf and heather locklear's mugshot had a baby. god, his ex-wife just exhaled the biggest sigh of relief that she's no longer with someone who had the capacity for such ridiculousness.
Back when the Tiger shit hit the fan and whores were cumming out of the woodwork, someone had already ratted out this ferret face.
Aaahahahahah!!!!
Move over John Daly.
She's a prize, they are perfect for each other.
Tiger, you are following in Big Daddy's jizz-laden footsteps.
EDIT: "Because the sideways fuckery of Hollywood has left me numb and desensitized, I'm not sure how creepy this is"
Okay, this may be the definitive statement on all of recent western civ. thank you, Michael.
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Looks like Brian Bonsall in drag...
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Shiitake happens...
Major creepy!
Damn, she's repulsive. Did he bust her nose with a golf club or something?
Since they lived next door to each other and Tiger's known her since she was a little girl, I wouldn't be surprised it Tiger started diddling her a long time ago.
Awww - now they can double date with Woody Allen and Soon Yi.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Thu, 03/24/2011 - 10:24am.
Katie Holmes said the same thing- that she used to have pics of Tommy on her wall, and say she was going to marry him.
Sometimes dreams do not turn out the way you think they will.
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Btw, has anyone ever noticed that Kelly Preston essentially said the same thing about Johnny Girl????? Coincidence? Me thinks NOT.
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Is that really the best he can do? She's repulsive.
@Suzy Farkis - OMG fucking piggy! How Creepy!!!
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Cartman (singing): Whenever I see Jesus up on that cross / I can’t help but think that he looks kinda hot.
Thank you! I knew it smelled like bleach and something! I'm not crazy...
How would you like to have a crap picture of yourself on the internet? Not nice!!!!!
Once again, MK makes me blow snot.
Definitely creepy. When I was 25 years old I got a call out of the blue from my old tennis coach who I hadn't seen since he moved away when I was 17. He had been coaching me since I was 13 and I'm guessing was about 30 at the time (or maybe the moustache just made him look older).
My mom was completely freaked out that he had tracked me down. When he called, my brother told him where I worked (which he got in trouble for) and he came by, and because I was too timid to tell him to get lost I gave him my number where I was living for school. He called me, bragged about the 5 star resort he was the tennis pro at and then told me he'd just won a lot of money gambling at the casino and that he was going to go to Florida with it and that I should come. Instead of saying 'that's gross', I used the excuse that I didn't have the money to travel and he of course said 'Oh I meant I'll take you.' I don't even remember how I got rid of him but that was the last I heard. I think he even creeped himself out and that's what did it. I never told my mom about the rest of it, it was just too nasty.
@kiwikim
Why dont you press charges? if a pedo is walking free it should be put away in prison
I hate those kinda pedo men. Like they'd totally be into it if it was legal, but since it isn't, they wait at delivery rooms, making notes on when the families in their neighborhoods are having kids, and then calculating the second they're going to be legal so they can show up on their doorstep with a birthday present of cake flavoured condoms.
I know one of these dudes in Alaska. Slept with all the 16 year old girls in his town when he was 30, and eventually knocked one of them up. Now those 16 year olds have turned 30 and are mothers and he spends most of his time flirting with 10,11,12 year old kids, counting the days until he can get them and he's mid 40's now. And the moms can't see past their fond memories of how he took their virginity when they were 16. Don't want to admit the truth that they're too old for him now and he's only around for their kids. But until the parents pass out one night in their alcoholic blackout while he's over and he can maneuver something, he's flying to Thailand to sleep with 12 year old girls and reading porn like Barely Legal. I wish his alcoholic loser ass would be thrown in jail or at the very least, some extremely bad karma would hit him. Hopefully the pills and alcohol he's addicted to will kill him soon so that he doesn't ruin another generation of women. Here's hoping his son doesn't turn out anything like him.
Did I mention he lives two towns over from Sarah Palin? Surprised he isn't the father of Bristol Palin's brat. Is everyone in Alaska an effing loser?
Yeah, a little creepy.
Girlfriend needs to call me about her skin, STAT. Step one, get off the BAD SHIT!
Like I said the other day,Tiger Woods is the new Woody Allen.
Definitely creepy. Her pic looks like it should be on a bottle of Meth Head Mouthwash.
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"There is something the matter with you, Caprice...Something is the matter with YOUR VAGINA!"
tiger is a pig...every woman he bangs is guaranteed to have an automatic monthly renewal of valtrex waiting at the pharmacy...
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So wrong on SO many accounts. The worst part for me is that no one is concerned about what this does for his kids' future.
It's the Internet - all this stuff will be here when his kids are old enough to understand it - and the other kids can use it to make their lives a living hell.
Way to go, Father of the Millenium...
She looks older than him, so it's OK.
In all of the stories that came out after Elin clubbed him, one of them was about him cheating on Elin with the 22-year-old next-door-neighbor. Just saying.
"Google me, you dumb fuck!", said some punk bitch rookie cop.
Submitted by Cunning Stunt on Thu, 03/24/2011 - 11:49am.
Which is why young girls should be getting positive role models from pop culture instead of the Kardashians who teach them life is only worth living as long as someone is willing to piss on you on tape so that you can become a 'star' without having any particular skills. Women do pick that up along as they grow older but it wouldn't hurt to actually make that known to girls from the get-go: maybe '20 year olds' would get confident then.
*dbl post. Stoopit cell phone
I wouldn't necessarily say stupid, M.E., but definitely lacking the experience or maturity of an older woman. I think the most important thing an older woman has over a younger one that these dudes don't want is confidence, which makes a woman demand to be treated right.
"And you - scuff that luggage and I'll cut your hamstrings for you." Mallory Archer
Is that one of her many mugshots? Blech.
Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 03/24/2011 - 11:17am.
"I do not understand what a 20 year old chick and a 50 year old dude could possibly have in common."
She has boobs he has money?
"Most 20 year old chicks are stupid."
Hey!
Creepy on many counts.
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Yeah, it's borderline creepy. But then again, everything Tiger does these days qualify.
Submitted by Hekki on Thu, 03/24/2011 - 11:18am.
Yes, creepy. Inappropriate, scummy, unethical, etc.
How would he like it if some old dude were banging his barely legal daughter? Yeah.
not sure if this site will be around in 15 years...more like 10...but I'd be willing to bet that he will be encountering that scenario relatively soon.
Yes, creepy. Inappropriate, scummy, unethical, etc.
How would he like it if some old dude were banging his barely legal daughter? Yeah.
Submitted by charlie m on Thu, 03/24/2011 - 10:49am.
Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 03/24/2011 - 10:33am.
Tiger's creep factor got outted from the closet when he was fucking 18+ whores behind his wifes back.
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i totally agree. any guy over thirty who is messing around with an 18-20 year old is gross. a creep. unless it is a hands off courtship that has wholesome intentions. a chick at that age is basicly the same as a 16 year old. gross. that's why sheen and heffner piss me off so fucking bad. back in my day if a 45 year old sheen would have taken up sexually with a 19 year old you were a filthy bastard. don't get me started on an 80 year old heff taking up sexually with 20 year olds. that is enough to make you hurl your cherrios for a week and is totally insulting and respulsive to your daughters and granddaughters.
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Exactly. Thirty year olds scoping 15 year olds are considered pedophiles, yet 45 year olds scoping out 20+ year olds is completely acceptable. Yes, I understand the legality issues with age, etc. But it's still creepy to me.
I do not understand what a 20 year old chick and a 50 year old dude could possibly have in common.
Most 20 year old chicks are stupid. Yes, I was 20 once. Most women do not mature mentally or emotionally enough for a "real" relationship until they are at least 25 + years old.
I know a lot of people are going to disagree with me, but there is a HUGE difference between a 20 year old woman and a 26 year old woman.
Bad pic my ass, that's her fucking face! She's a busted ass 22 year old with enough $$$ to look decent with the right clothes, makeup, and monied environment. Don't piss on my neck and tell me it's raining!
And this relationship doesn't surprise me. Tiger clearly isn't interested in mature, independent women who have their shit together, he seems to prefer broads who will idolize him so that when he says jump they make him a sandwich.
"And you - scuff that luggage and I'll cut your hamstrings for you." Mallory Archer
totally creepy of course! AS I read somewhere she looks like she would do anal...and Tiger being a scum slut loving asshole, is pretty nasty with his taste in ho's...she is definately a freak..and the whole thing has a serious pedo vibe about it...Tiger like Chris Brown will never ever change..once an asshole, always an asshole.
Everytime I see a picture of Elin, all I can think is "what a dumbass."
Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Thu, 03/24/2011 - 10:53am.
I just don't understand how any one could want to date Tiger. You know he's going to want to have anal sex. You know from his past he is probably infected with HPV. So, you know you are most likely going to die a long, painful death from colon cancer.
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Well, I guess when you already HAVE HPV, and possibly herpes and/or chlamydia it's really not so much of an issue.
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I'd like to believe Elin is having the last laugh but then again, this is her babydaddy and she did win the gold medal for being the most bamboozled wife EVAH. and judging from her behavior during and after the debacle I think she'd rather have a faithful husband and intact family than $100 million scot free dollars and a mansion.
I know I would...although that $100 million is a hell of a comfort. O_o
Beyond golf, Woods is a loser on all levels.
Agree. No matter the age, if you're rich AND famous, there will always be people telling you that you're beautiful.
Why not get it on with him for a good time? He owns a fucking island, has billions, isn't THAT old or ugly, has talent...Hollywood sluts do much worse.
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elegance has a name
Tiger also slipped it to his next-door-neighbors 18 year old daughter, whom he had known since she was 11.
He is clearly creepy in a Clintonesque way.
Ick nast the lot of them! Gurl, hes not that rich, the fame and talent has peaked and is behind him. What woman in their right mind would get it in with this PIG.
She's not attractive, take any southern college sorority drunk blond girl is you have this skank.
Elin is definitely having the last (platinum and diamond encrusted) laugh.
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Shame, on me.
To need release.
Uncontrollably...
I-I-I wanna go-o-o all the way-ay-ay
taking out my freak tonight.
I-I-I wanna show-o-o all the di-ir-irt
I got going through my mind
No matter how much of a scumbag you are, you can get the young girls with money and fame. If he weren't rich and famous, no one would look at him twice.
She could really star in a "just say no" campaign cos there's no way this woman looks 22 - a 45 year old divorsée with some hard living behind her maybe but no way 22.
I just don't understand how any one could want to date Tiger. You know he's going to want to have anal sex. You know from his past he is probably infected with HPV. So, you know you are most likely going to die a long, painful death from colon cancer.
@super martian, "Laura, I'm a man... and no matter what your Pa says, you're a woman... and I want you to be my wife."
*SWOOOOON*
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