Lindsay Lohan Is All Ready For Her Courtroom Close-up
Today was the day Lindsay Lohan had to decide whether or not she's going to take a plea deal in the joree snatching case, and TMZ says that she has slid over an F U nail decal to the prosecution's side of the table. Basically, LiLo has turned it down and will try her luck at a trial instead. Did you hear that, White Oprah? Or is a barback's tongue in your ear again? Grab a baby and squeeze his tears into a jar, because LiLo is going to need plenty when she WAH WAH WAHs on the stand. It's a good thing she already stretched out her tear ducts from hiding all those 8-balls in there.
If LiLo took the plea deal, she would've ended up with at least 19 days in jail and 3 years added to her probation. So she told her lawyer that she believes her true innocence will set her free. The first hearing is scheduled for April 22nd and Judge Stephanie Sautner has been assigned the case.
If Judge Stephanie decides LiLo totally fucked up her probation, she goes to jail. If Judge Stephanie decides LiLo meant to snatch that necklace, she goes to prison. If Judge Stephanie decides she didn't do either, then LiLo goes free. LiLo thinks the surveillance footage and the fact that the jewelry store sold the tape to the media for a quick dollar will convince the judge to stamp a NOT GUILTY on her forehead.
Oh, please. LiLo is saying she wants to go to trial because she thinks she's innocent, but we know the real reason. This ho just wants to see her long-grain titties on the front of the New York Post every morning! Bitch is laying out her ho shit court clothes right now and can't wait to strut it in front of the cameras every day. LiLo can't even get an invite to a HoJo's Oscar party so this is her Oscars and she's going to milk it like a thirsty baby.
And if LiLo's dumb ass gets sentenced to prison, then she can make the time go by fast by forcing her top bunk cell mate to sing this lullaby before bed every night:
Yes, I stretched that non-joke just so I could post this masterpeepiece. It had to be seen and it can't be unseen.
via Videogum
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Gah! Will she quit with the blond bullshit already? It's hideous on her.
http://girlunemployed.blogspot.com
@MissJaneTexas - thank you!
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"I still wouldn't..." - Satan
The video clip was the best part of the post. EPIC WTF-ness splashed all about.
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Menage a NO! NO! NO!-MK
I see the patriarch of the family in the video is equal parts Santa Claus, Noah and Karl Marx.
On Lohan: fuck that bitch.
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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime; give a man religion and he will die praying for a fish.
Why is it when I read something that is clearly labeled as "..it can't be unseen." I just stupidly click the play button. Now have to live with that the rest of my life. I'd never even heard of these bitches before and now I'm scared for life. But in sort of the 'I'm going to make as many of my friends as possible watch this video sos I don't have to bear the stupid alone' way.
And that Lohan cunt. I have no comments about her or her family anymore. They somehow have become teflon and will never have anything as harsh as they deserve happen to them. For my own sanity and the sake of my unpunched walls, I just can't with them any more.
"I am special and I will never be one of you." - Charlie Sheen
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Wed, 03/23/2011 - 6:03pm.
I really don't understand why the Germans have such awful taste in music (before anyone hates my grandparents were Germans - fresh off the boat). It's a serious question. Hasselhoff, this? I really don't get it.
Plus this video is uber creepy.
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Take a bow, freak. Jack-n-the-hat 10-5-2009
For what purpose was this created? A goddamn project for whore school? Sophie_003 10-6-2009
Submitted by becky n sydney on Wed, 03/23/2011 - 6:02pm.
HoJO is the nickname for Howard Johnson which is a chain of uber cheap, shitty hotels.
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Take a bow, freak. Jack-n-the-hat 10-5-2009
For what purpose was this created? A goddamn project for whore school? Sophie_003 10-6-2009
That video is AMAZING. It's like Shiloh Pitt got abducted by the Duggars.
Note to prosecutor: don't make her try the necklace on.
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Shiloh's attempt at a solo music career just didn't work out the way she thought it would...
What the f is up with Stole-Han's joo'ry???? I mean, the earrings look like a Native American's pre-school art project...And the bracelet? Look like some workmen left some scrap metal at a work site and bitch wrapped it arount her joo're snatchin' arm for good luck....
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Re: the vid
Guess the percentage that:
a) inter-married
b) developed meth/Oxycontin addictions
c) have been profiled on People of WalMart
d) are eagerly awaiting The Apocalypse
hint: there can be overlap
OMFG. The Kelly Family. They were big for a while in Germany and now get this: my sister bought the album (should have been an indicator of her sexuality, buying that album being the gayest thing she s ever done) and the worst thing is i actually heard this song before. It was buried under piles of weed and barrels of liquor in my head and was never ever meant to see the light of day again.
*shoots self*
oh, and fuck Lilo.
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fuck those goddamn son of a horses i got better things to do like love landwhale and bake some bread and tell some fuckers to fuck off.----charlie m.
What's a HoJO's Oscar party?
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"I still wouldn't..." - Satan
WONDERFUL WE NOW HAVE 2 FUCKING LOHANS WASTING MY FUCKING TAX DOLLARS IN COURT WHICH WILL BE FUCKING STRETCHED OUT SO THEY CAN GET A SHITLOAD OF FUCKING PRESS AND EVENTUALLY MAKE FUCKING MONEY WHILE US FUCKING TAX PAYERS SIT OUR FAT(NOT REALLY) FUCKING ASSES IN OUR FUCKING CHAIRS IN FRONT OF OUR FUCKING COMPUTERS AND HAVE THE STATE TAKE FUCKING 25% OF OUR FUCKING CHECKS SO THAT THE FUCKING LOHANS CAN SPEND IT AT A LUXURY FUCKING HOTEL OR FOR FUCKING DINNER....I WOULD REALLY LOVE TO FUCKING SMASH THIS WHOLE FUCKING FAMILY IN THE SKULL WITH A LARGE LOG!
I'm hoping for tears and cries of anguish when the guilty verdict is read.
What the FUCK, MK???? I'm gonna pee-pee MY bed tonight dreaming about this fucked up shit.
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When life gives you lemons...slice 'em up, eat 'em. - Aunt Barbara http://www.youtube.com/user/AuntBarbara
jt
bitch please - it's L.A. if they wouldn't convict double-murderer, O.J., then no jury will put this famewhore behind bars because of some shitty $2500 necklace that looks like a QVC Technibond reject.