FREE SPAZ!
By day, Spaz de la Huerta is breaking the will of mere mortals with her drunk tank beauty, and by night she's breaking glasses and punching hos in the face! TMZ reports that the beer-stained wild weed that grows between the Boardwalk floor boards was FRAMED in NYC on Sunday night. Yes, FRAMED! Some former reality star named Samantha Swerta claimed Spaz threw a glass at her before hitting her in the face.
Hook that Samantha chick up to a lie detector, because I refuse to believe any of this! Spaz is a refined lady of class! Spaz didn't throw a glass. That was the crystal teardrop from an angel who shed it after he caught an up-close glimpse of Spaz's gorgeous face in his telescope. And nobody punched Samantha! The wind just knocked her out when Spaz flipped her hair. RE-TRIAL!!!!
Okay, okay, I'm completely Spazmatized, so here's the real story from TMZ:
Sources familiar with the situation tell TMZ, it all went down at The Standard hotel -- after Paz and Samantha got into it over Samantha's male friend ... we're told Paz was hitting on him and Sam got defensive.According to sources, Samantha made a few snide remarks about Paz's level of inebriation ... and Paz got PISSED, throwing a glass and punching Samantha in the face.
We're told pieces of the glass became lodged in Samantha's leg, and Lindsay Lohan -- who was there with Samantha -- helped pick out the bloody shards ... while Paz was escorted out by security.
Samantha filed a police report this morning with her attorney Stephanie Ovadia. So far, no charges have been filed.
Wait. Lindsay Lohan was at a hotel bar?! A bar where they serve booze? STRING HER UP! WHAT'S THE NUMBER TO 911! STICK A BREATHALYZER IN HER MOUTH! CITIZEN'S ARREST! THROW HER IN THE CLINK! RE-TRIAL!
Yes, that's me trying to take the attention off of Spaz's drunk douchebag ways. I'm so the White Oprah to her Lindsay.
• 
Looking at her, I realize once again that Hollywood isnt what it used to be. If human garbage like this can make it big, then all is possible.
everyone is ugly! ick. nast. e
Submitted by beakers bitch on Wed, 03/23/2011 - 5:54pm.
Why does she always look like she has a big rash around her mouth like she spent five hours making out with a bearded lumberjack?
____________________________________
Maybe she's having reactions to whatever shit she pumps into her lips?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
A lot of people clearly aren't much of a "face person", if you know what I mean.
†
"I'm the guardian of this land,
I'm Dracula, Prince of Walacchia.
My name is synonymous with fear and terror
which I sowed and grew and which I fed on."
-Opera IX (Under the Sign of the Red Dragon)
Why is she red all around the mouth? Teh herp?
†
"I'm the guardian of this land,
I'm Dracula, Prince of Walacchia.
My name is synonymous with fear and terror
which I sowed and grew and which I fed on."
-Opera IX (Under the Sign of the Red Dragon)
She looks like an assholes rosebud.
Is she a tranny?
Paz gives me the creeps, mostly because she looks EXACTLY like my Tia Iliana (and no, I don't look anything like my aunt, thankyouverymuch!).
****************************************
"Let's do it in Spanish" -Ricky Martin
Submitted by islandgirl on Wed, 03/23/2011 - 6:00pm.
Hahaha, except they're not bearded! I think there should be a porn star that resembles the Brawny paper towel guy, he should wear plaid and his name should be "The Lumberjacker".
That is Bobby Trendy. And i stand by that. Until i see a vagina thats what i believe. And even after i see one, i still think its Bobby.
fuck those goddamn son of a horses i got better things to do like love landwhale and bake some bread and tell some fuckers to fuck off.----charlie m.
Submitted by beakers bitch on Wed, 03/23/2011 - 5:54pm.
Why does she always look like she has a big rash around her mouth like she spent five hours making out with a bearded lumberjack?
-------
Hahaha, spot on!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zey8567bcg
Why does she always look like she has a big rash around her mouth like she spent five hours making out with a bearded lumberjack?
I think her boobs are trying to run away from home.
.
______________________________
"I still wouldn't..." - Satan
Look, I don't care if she's fug.
Is Boardwalk Empire a good show?
That's all I need to know, so I can netflix it. Thanks.
Paz...absolutely the only thing interesting on Boardwalk Empire. Red hot smokin' on it too. The white woman at her best.
That is one ugly drunken man.
(Sung to the tune of Rick James's "Superfreak.")
She is superfug, superfug!
She's superfugly, yeeeow...
***************************
"I'd hate to have to go around thinking of health & shit like that." Keith Richards, 1997
She reminds me of a mole with those tiny eyes. And while I've never seen her in anything, her antics make her a lot more interesting to me. I always did love a good train wreck.
take it easy on ol' Paz. she has genetic disorders.
and, like i said on the other thread, i think she truly is a few sandwiches short of a picnic.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Come Back As A Flower: Songs of Stevie Wonder" - w/Mimi Fox, Akira Tana and more - name-your-price download at http://tiny.cc/u5fa8
Im sure somehow this is all Blohans fault!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Submitted by Lurker on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 7:03pm.
Submitted by Pamela on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 6:51pm
damn girl, you tell it like it is!!!
and btw why the hell is Hohan in this mix??? FAcing trial and jail on probation violation after probation violation, going to playgrounds and hanging out with playmates or however that A.A. saying goes, is never a good idea for sobriety and to impress a judge. Hohan has definately inherited the stupid gene from Pappa and the lying gene from Mamma....bitch has no chance in hell with that combo!!
Spaz is usually playing a drunk ho on Boardwalk Empire..so this is not really a stretch for her...Spaz looks so much better on BE than in every single pic taken then or since. She is very unfortunate looking..but if she wasn't looking fucked up all the time she may have a chance at looking halfway decent.
She looks like Steven Tyler's and Juliette Lewis's love child.
@MK "drunk tank beauty; re-trial!" LMAOOO
What is wrong with this bitch?! I mean, I just can't hate the girl, shes so damn weird (like myself), but MUST she go out in public this way?? All the time?? So confused.
*furiously takes makeup remover to those smudged up lip stains on her*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Skeptical scrutiny is the means, in both science and religion, by which deep insights can be winnowed from deep nonsense. Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known." - Carl Sagan
Whatever Paz' dysfunction is, its making my dysfunction hotter than a $20 pistol... ;)
Hello, my name is PT Bull. (Hi, PT). And its been 13 years since I last debauched myself with a mentally unstable woman...
Submitted by louise_brooks: "My husband's reaction when he saw this one on Boardwalk Empire. "What the fuck? They had trannies back then??""
OMG, hide your husband, I want to steal him! Dlisters have some hilarious hubbies.
These damn Paz posts by Michael K always leave me feeling dirty and ashamed. Because the truth is, if I were younger and single...oh hell, single... I would probably be happy to bed that beady-eyed sexpot after only three martinis. Okay, truth? -- half a light beer. I feel so wrong.
26? . . . Going on 56!
Arrest that Butterface for assaulting my eyes! I must see a Spaz mugshot!
This makes me like Paz more.
Like they sing on Yo Gabba Gabba, keep your hands to yourself. However, I'm also imagining a snotty, pretending-to-be-important vibe from that other circle that includes Lindsay Lohan and this Samantha woman. She's a model? For what, football helmets? And for someone in recovery, Lohan hangs out at a lot of bars (and if she's not there, it seems that then she's either "shopping" in boutiques or walking her ho stroll, the halls of Chateau Marmont, or in the library catching up on some Derrida).
===========================================
Karen Flatts: "Please don't get so worked up over 'Bjork You'. She is famous for playing the 'love and peace and no racism' song, but yet she constantly puts down Americans. She is a closet anti-American puke"
Her piggy little eyes remind me of Jamie Foxx, who in turn reminds me of my sister's pit bull.
***********************************************
"You're ugly and your fucking bag is ugly too."--John Galliano (allegedly)
Spaz is one fugly, fugly woman.
***************************
"I'd hate to have to go around thinking of health & shit like that." Keith Richards, 1997
I have no clue who she is but every time I see a picture of her I feel scared.
______________________________________________
Visit my husband's webcomic DUNGEON HORDES at http://www.drunkduck.com/dungeon_hordes
______________________________________________
Lilo is as dumb as they come because at the trial they'll bring up ALL of her past ''incidences'' of shoplifting, proving that this wasn't the first time something like this occurred. They would not have brought it up if she had accepted the plea, and the punishment will be much more sever. And the bitch is boozing again...
About chère Paz, I like that she doesn't wear so much make-up (if any), but damn she has a Mic Jagger mouth.
edited.
**************************************************
www.theanimalrescuesite.com - Click everyday to help animals in shelters
I don't believe for one second that Spazz threw a glass at a ho. She's too much of a delicate refined lady for that. A knife, machete, ax or broken bottle, maybe, but not a glass.
----------------------
"There is something the matter with you, Caprice...Something is the matter with YOUR VAGINA!"
Calling this ho a butterface is a disgrace to margarines, Parkay, et cete-fuckin-ra!
***************************************
Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe to Heaux Confessionals©
I want lilo to go to trial, how fun (only if cameras are allowed)
When you say 'Free' do you mean, she's incarcerated? I guess I agree. Birds should not be caged, unless they are well cared for pets. If when you say 'Free', you mean no cost. I would say no thanks, don't want her. And if when you say 'Free', you mean available? I would say 'Hell No'. (Actually, come to think of it, I'd say 'Hell No' in all three cases.)
When I read: FREE SPAZ, I thought for sure the post was going to say that she was locked up on a 5150.
This ho ain't right.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'd like to flay you with my rapier wit but I'm afraid it's about as dull as fucking your mother.
Lilo is NOT taking a plea. Bitch is going to trial. *rolls eyes*
***********************************************
"The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues."
-Elizabeth Taylor
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 03/23/2011 - 12:47pm.
for some reason TMZ took Lilo's name out of the original post and replaced it with "a friend" hmmmmmmmmmm!?!?!
**********************************
HMMMMMMMMMMMM?!?! Indeed! Don't think this is over, media.
♥ Threadkilla!
Every nation ridicules other nations, and all are right.
~Arthur Schopenhauer
Who dis fool? Yo, you been eatin' spaghetti on da subway, boo?
for some reason TMZ took Lilo's name out of the original post and replaced it with "a friend" hmmmmmmmmmm!?!?!
****************************
"How come everyone looks nice yet has the personality of Satan?" Irish Fury re Dlisters 3/16/11
"See you next fucking season, troll." TWOP Survivor Recap
*tries to figure out how the boobs are placed in the top*
Picasso would have been proud to come up with the creature of cubism!
Lohan probably thought the shards in her leg were bits of meth.
______________________________________________
"Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me."
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
Spaz makes Ke$ha look like Halle Berry. I can't believe this! From the very first pic I saw of this person I assumed she was a drag queen.
She has a butterface and I'd be laughing my ass off if she hit on my boyfriend.

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 03/23/2011 - 12:02pm.
She needs to do something with that damn mouth of hers... looks like she's been sucking on hot exhaust pipes.
_______
You wish it were YOUR pipe she was sucking LMAO
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
is there a mug shot of paz...can't be any worse this picture above...or can it?
_____________________________________________
i've got the brains, you've got the looks...let's make lots of money...
the whole I am wondering WTF is "the city"? and why is this person called as star?
"I will pee myself today and when someone asks, "what is that smell?", I will happily tell them Veluptuous by KK!" Urmomma