Michael Lohan Arrested For Felony Domestic Violence
Michael Lohan should be sitting in a prison cell for regularly abusing our senses with his thrombosed hemorrhoid face and the delusion covered shit stones that belly flop off of his tongue on an hourly basis, but sadly the laws must protect human turds because he's allowed to walk the streets. And last night, he walked right into his L.A. apartment and allegedly attacked his ex-girlfriend Kate Major (seen here getting scissored in the chin). This time, Michael kept his vagina kicking foot to himself and instead threw Kate across the room and choked her out with a towel. Oh, Michael is just following one of the 10 Cuntmandments: Thou shall choke your ex out with a towel if she tries to leave.
According to the police report, obtained by TMZ (duh), Michael walked in on Kate packing up some of her things. The used douche water in Michael's system started to boil over and he freaked out, because she told him she was leaving for good. Michael allegedly grabbed her and threw her into a bedpost. When Kate tried to call the cops, Michael choked her with a towel and threatened to cut himself with a razor and tell the police she did it. Kate got away, drove to the police department and filed a report. Kate apparently had visible injuries on her body.
Michael was slipped into a pair of Lohan bracelets and was charged with domestic violence, false imprisonment and preventing the reporting of victimization. And as he was being booked, Michael conveniently started having chest pains and was taken to the hospital to be checked.
Oh, Michael, those aren't chest pains. It's just echoes from your prostate screaming about going back to prison again. Or maybe it was his heart out-loud laughing at his low-budget stunt queen moves. Either way, have fun.
Instead of sending Lindsay and Michael to prison, the government should put them in a laboratory where scientists will poke at them to determine what in their system makes them complete and utter FUCK UPS (and the government better not blame it on foreign coke).
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"....abusing our senses with his thrombosed hemorrhoid face."
I LOVE YOU MICHAEL K.!!
thanks for getting me 'round the bases, Friday's almost here
and I got to laughing harder than I expected.
Thank you Michael. Every day with you in it, is a gift.
You know what he is saying in that picture?
"See dis? Right here, between these two fingers. Dat's where I'm gonna hit her."
More supporting evidence in the case for Family Euthanasia.
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______________________________
"I still wouldn't..." - Satan
The sooner MiLo is toe-tagged, the sooner LiLo will be toe-tagged.
Someone will kill MiLo in prison. LiLo will OD.
He reminds me of Joey Buttafuoco.
...My darling can't you see
My heart sounds just for you my dear...
Ya know the description MK made of Brad Pitt looking like the slow mechanic who worked in his brother's shop and got fired for rubbing his crotch and nibbling on stryofoam cups? if you also add..."and getting busted offering a rimjob to an undercover cop in exchange for a meth rock"....you have a perfect description of Mike Lohan.
"When I'm good I'm very good but when I'm bad I'm better." ~Mae West
This man is beneath contempt. It makes me sick that he's a "celebrity".
ya don't fuckin say. biiiig surprise, lol
Its gonna be pretty unjust when this dickhead goes to jail before his lying cheating druggie whore of a daughter!
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Submitted by Lurker on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 7:03pm.
Submitted by Pamela on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 6:51pm
damn girl, you tell it like it is!!!
I thought he was sticking his tongue down Kim G's throat now? This chick seems to love the fame, she keeps going back to him despite constantly saying she'll stay away. I mean he's not rich, he's not handsome, he's old, so it can only be the fame (that comes with having a famous fuck up of a kid).
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Tue, 03/22/2011 - 9:32am.
FAME WHORE. Can we send him to a leper colony.
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No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no
What have the lepers ever done?? That whore would wipe out the whole colony in an hour!
Its all he said/she said unless they can come up with some evidence. No way of knowing if her allegations are true.
I just want the bitch, daddy lohan to STFU--if some felony time is what it takes, get me on the jury!
I'm not blaming the victim here, because Michael Lohan is a dangerous criminal and we've seen plenty of evidence to that during his entire life....so I ask you educated and enlightened MK readers, why-oh-why would she EVER go to HIS HOUSE ALONE for anything???????? I think this is MUCH of Lindsey's problem -- her dad, and her fear and loathing of him. This Michael Lohan situation should probably help Lindsey's.....is that a coincidence? No. They're all royally dysfunctional and dangerous people to be around.
My vision of world peace: a chicken in every pot, and pot for all us chickens...and weasels.
wasn't he JUST in rehab? this guy is crazy and just deserves to be locked up.
I came in from digging my new fish pond to take a break....and this IS the celebrity news of today, the continual saga of "Days of our Crackie's Life". Does every single second of these POS lives have to involve some drama? In todays episode, Papa Crackie escapes from, ironically, a rehab reality show to abuse his ex for the SECOND time. Meanwhile, after a exhausting club hopping trip to NY, Klepto Crackie returns to LA to spend mere days in jail for her latest crime. What will Klepto Crackie wear for her next court catwalk? Will her recently inflated fish lips and fried blonde hair/extensions last until she's released? How will "Mommy" Crackie survive while her "child" is unjustly jailed? Turn in tomorrow for yet another episode of "Days of our Crackie's Life"
Kate Major is a stupid cunt.
"Google me, you dumb fuck!", said some punk bitch rookie cop.
Submitted by skidmarx on Tue, 03/22/2011 - 10:44am.
i think she should have gone into gen. pop. like the rest of the public, but that isn't gonna happen because she's "special"
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
It's great news to know that MiLo was arrested and may go to jail.
ESE,
What did you think about LiLo being put in protective custody when she was in jail last summer? Why should one criminal get a private shower, visiting hours and cell and everyone else needs to have a cellmate, open shower and waiting in line for visiting hours?
Come at me bitch!
@EveryStrangersEyes - Here lemme pour you another drink and *cheers* ;)
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If all dogs go to heaven, should Michael Vick be worried about making the cut?
Morbidosity's picture
Submitted by Morbidosity on Tue, 03/22/2011 - 10:27am.
pheww!!!... 'cause i really like when you show up when i'm around. i enjoy your posts.
let's agree to disagree... now, are you gonna help me finish this drink or what? heehee!
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Tree ...apple
Sorry, I heard Tracy Quartermaine say that to Luke and his son last week and have been using it whenever I can!
If there weren't visible signs of the violence, I'd have to wonder if Kate was "needing" attention. Given that there are signs and Lohan's lil' fit, I believe 100% of what she said. I still have to give this all a huge side eye with this celeb rehab stint still taking place. How is he able to leave there so often? This is the 3rd time since they began filming in which he's left. The first time he had kicked someone out of his apartment, second time he beat Kate's friend up and now this. Where is Dr Drew? Too many questions. 2011 seems not to be the year for reality shows and wife beaters.
Narcissistic douchebag with a bloated face. I bet he uses fillers not just on his smug face, but on his wrinkled nutsack too.
*edited*
We will just have to agree to disagree on this one.
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If all dogs go to heaven, should Michael Vick be worried about making the cut?
Submitted by super martian r... on Tue, 03/22/2011 - 10:12am.
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Tue, 03/22/2011 - 10:06am
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Because you take a man, especially one convicted of crime against women and/or children and throw them into a system with a bunch of other criminals, fairness goes right out the window. Guards are underpaid and understaffed at prison and rape is so common there, they are not about to jump in and risk their own safety by fighting off a gang of angry men raping one man when their weapon of defense is a baton stick. And most guards don't even care, anyway. I don't think I'd care if I saw a woman beater/child molestor/rapist/murderer get it taken up the ass. JMO.
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i think that you're missing my point... your/mine/anyone's opinion doesn't change the fact that rape is not part of a prison sentence! guards being understaffed has nothing to do with it. their job is to, for lack of a better term "protect" the rights of people in prison... certain rights don't disappear(presumably) in a "decent" society for people who go to jail/prison.... hell, i know of one person in Florida state prison right now that is going to be there for six months for habitual driving on a suspended license... rape the hell out of her, that'll teach her to not do it again!... what's good for the gander, is what i'm sayin'
*disclaimer*.... i'm not trying to fight with anyone, i'm just tired and wasting time.
OT: Lohan didn't go to prison for hanging out with Jon Gosselin?
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
@ESE: LOL! I was gonna say: You keep your screwdrivers in the fridge?! And then I was gonna ask what you needed to fix with a cold screwdriver...but now I see - you gotta fix your AWAKENESS!:)
♥ Threadkilla!
Every nation ridicules other nations, and all are right.
~Arthur Schopenhauer
This is why I can never fully hate on LiLo, even though god knows she deserves it. She is a fuck up of monumental proportions, but look at the shit she had to deal with in her childhood. It's amazing she is as 'sane' as she is in my opinion. Those kids never stood a chance. To survive as a child star in Hollywood you better hope you have one hell of a parental support unit behind you. She has a towering pile of shit.
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"It's always funny until somebody gets hurt-then it's fucking hilarious": The late great Bill Hicks
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Tue, 03/22/2011 - 10:06am
----
Because you take a man, especially one convicted of crime against women and/or children and throw them into a system with a bunch of other criminals, fairness goes right out the window. Guards are underpaid and understaffed at prison and rape is so common there, they are not about to jump in and risk their own safety by fighting off a gang of angry men raping one man when their weapon of defense is a baton stick. And most guards don't even care, anyway. I don't think I'd care if I saw a woman beater/child molestor/rapist/murderer get it taken up the ass. JMO.
Submitted by angel_i on Tue, 03/22/2011 - 10:08am.
You go, ESE.
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thank you, dahlin'!
i'm still wondering if i should go back to bed, or gather the muster to hit the fridge for a screwdriver... ah, the choices!LOL!
OT: yep, the Lohan deserves to be in jail
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
You go, ESE.
As MK says: Two [douchebags] don't make a right.
(he said 'whores' - still applies)
♥ Threadkilla!
Every nation ridicules other nations, and all are right.
~Arthur Schopenhauer
Submitted by super martian r... on Tue, 03/22/2011 - 9:57am.
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Tue, 03/22/2011 - 9:51am.
because "battered and terrified" makes a good upstanding citizen, right? not to mention that your theory would certainly make for a good guidebook for how free reign of abominable actions on people in prison would make for no lashing out in the future.... yep, let's just beat and rape the "criminal" out of them, that'll surely work!
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Who cares if rape reforms him or not? I guess you think prison should be like a trip to the day spa.
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soo, what's the point of prison? it's to "reform"(pfft!), right?.... no, i don't think prison should be a day spa, i think rape is illegal, and prison is one place that the law should be the easiest place to uphold the law... the law runs the prisons, right?.... people always make a flip reaction to people going to prison by saying "bend over and take it" when the same people are disgusted when the exact same thing happens outside the prison walls is a crime.... i'm just confused in the idea of how rape or beatings(illegal) should be a part of what a legal system/general public considers a suitable part of "reform".
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
I'm as giddy as Ina Garten taking a 40-clove garlic chicken out of the oven with a big grin and a "How good is that?!" on my lips. DIE every Lohan career!
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Tue, 03/22/2011 - 9:51am.
because "battered and terrified" makes a good upstanding citizen, right? not to mention that your theory would certainly make for a good guidebook for how free reign of abominable actions on people in prison would make for no lashing out in the future.... yep, let's just beat and rape the "criminal" out of them, that'll surely work!
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Who cares if rape reforms him or not? I guess you think prison should be like a trip to the day spa.
Submitted by Morbidosity on Tue, 03/22/2011 - 9:42am.
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Tue, 03/22/2011 - 9:17am.
seriously?... yep, prison rape has solved every criminals problems in the past, right?
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Yes, seriously. Let him feel what it is like to be battered and terrified. Dont know if it will change his ways, but it would give him a lot to think about.
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because "battered and terrified" makes a good upstanding citizen, right? not to mention that your theory would certainly make for a good guidebook for how free reign of abominable actions on people in prison would make for no lashing out in the future.... yep, let's just beat and rape the "criminal" out of them, that'll surely work!
i still don't know why i'm awake this early!
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 03/22/2011 - 9:06am.
There's this documentary on cable called "The Wild Whites of West Virginia" about this hillbilly family in W. VA. They are famous throughout the state as being a bunch of no-good criminals. It's one of the most fascinating docs I've ever seen.
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I saw that too!!! Unfuckingbelievable. Biggest bunch of meth-head, toothless crazies I've ever seen. MK has to familiarize himself with them.
jail is to good for this shit head...he is definately graduated from irritating douchebag to full on shit head..he needs to go join his homeboy SAtan and be his number one ho...I loathe this creature to the bottom of his nasty shit stained soul...
as long as he gets to keep his mesh shirts he'll be okay.
http://theestateshop.blogspot.com/
http://twitter.com/#!/burning_plastic
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Tue, 03/22/2011 - 9:17am.
seriously?... yep, prison rape has solved every criminals problems in the past, right?
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Yes, seriously. Let him feel what it is like to be battered and terrified. Dont know if it will change his ways, but it would give him a lot to think about.
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If all dogs go to heaven, should Michael Vick be worried about making the cut?
jack! *excitedly* You saw it? Crazy stuff, huh?
Anyhoo, The Lohans are a cleaned-up version of these people, I think. They have the same mentality: violence, stealing, beating the system, thumbing their noses at the law.
Submitted by skidmarx on Tue, 03/22/2011 - 9:31am.
i believe that he SHOULD go to jail, but i'll believe it when i see it if he DOES go to jail... for any longer than a week...
i call publicity stunt/charges dropped in a matter of days
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
FAME WHORE. Can we send him to a leper colony.
______________________________________________
"Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me."
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
EveryStrangersEyes on Tue, 03/22/2011 - 9:08am.
'there's no way this guy, or any of his ilk is going to "jail" for any amount of time... that's for poor people."
You're forgetting that Michael Lohan has already been to jail for two years in NY for beating up his brother in law. That's why he was in jail when all of Lindsay's troubles started.
If he can go to jai in NY, he can go to jail in CA too.
*stunned look*
Submitted by HereForTheRide on Tue, 03/22/2011 - 8:52am.
Didn't I read somewhere that he wanted Dina back???
I read that on TMZ yesterday. It said Michael was hoping for Dina and Lindsay and the rest of the family to come for Celebrity Rehab's "family day" or whatever it is, but only his mother and Kate Major showed up. Didn't this girl already file charges against him in the past?
Submitted by Morbidosity on Tue, 03/22/2011 - 9:13am.
Put him in general population with the prom 'queen' of cell block c - Bubba Sue.
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seriously?... yep, prison rape has solved every criminals problems in the past, right?
oh, jeebus... why am i awake this early?
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Submitted by joe shmoe on Tue, 03/22/2011 - 8:41am.
I worked with battered women a long time ago and the most vicious beatings I saw, were when the woman got caught trying to leave.
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I was trying to understand why she was still with him, pay-cheque maybe but he is dangerous in a real and public way.
come to think of it, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. This douche just got out of a publicity rehab center and is beating up a woman, while Lilo just got out of Betty Ford and is out clubbing at all hours of the night, every night. hmmm. I'm thinking they're incurable. But when will it be enough? When will they perish from sight?
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www.theanimalrescuesite.com - Click everyday to help animals in shelters
Ok about him Lindsay made it clear that he beat her mother among other things, seing as Lindsay has so many issues maybe he raped her
"I will pee myself today and when someone asks, "what is that smell?", I will happily tell them Veluptuous by KK!" Urmomma
Put him in general population with the prom 'queen' of cell block c - Bubba Sue.
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If all dogs go to heaven, should Michael Vick be worried about making the cut?