Les Moonves Wants This Back
While Charlie Sheen is getting ready to mount his mercury surfboard to sprinkle brain seeds of ridiculousness all over the country (and Haiti), CBS president Les Moonves (aka Mister Chenbot) is contemplating tucking his tail in to beg the jester of the warlock kingdom to come back to Two and a Half Men. With a $100 million lawsuit from Charlie and the possibility of losing one of the most successful shows on TV hanging on to his back, Les is thinking that he should just drink the tiger blood-flavored Kool Aid. Yeah, because swallowing your pride isn't so bad if it means you'll shit out millions of dollars.
A source tells Radar that Les has held several meetings with executives about CBS about asking Warner Bros. TV to rehire Charlie. The source went on to say this mess, "Moonves wants to get the show back on the air. He's all for it. He says certain people need to forget anything and everything Charlie's done recently and just move on with the business at hand. The core issue is, as he put it, the volatile relationship between Charlie Sheen and Chuck Lorre. He believes that if CBS and Warner Bros. TV honchos can find a way to get Chuck and Charlie to speak again, cooler heads will prevail."
Kellogg's asking Charlie Sheen to be the new face of Frosted Flakes is a greater possibility than Chuck Lorre taking him back. But if this is true, then it won't end well. Charlie's ego is already a pulsating mound of self-entitlement that is about to explode any second, so even the sight of Les Moonves on his knees will trigger its eruption. Sheen lava (aka warlock smegma and crack syrup) will cover the streets and "winning" will become the only word in all of our vocabularies. So if Les Moonves wants a warlock on TAAHM, he better hire Julian Sands instead.
Meanwhile, while promoting his new movie with Emilio Estevez, Martin Sheen was asked by The Telegraph if he thinks faith can heal the crazy in Charlie's system:
I ask Martin Sheen if he believes that faith could help Charlie through his problems. 'Faith can help all of us,’ he replies briskly. 'Addiction is the dark side. It’s a reflection of despair. And it’s fed by all the other negativity.’Does Charlie listen to his father? 'Every now and then,’ Sheen says. 'Depends on whether it’s a moment of clarity for him. I can’t determine that for him. You know, Charlie’s 45 years old. He’s not a kid. Emotionally he still is. Because when you’re addicted, you don’t grow emotionally. So when you get clean and sober you’re starting at the moment you started using drugs or alcohol. You’re emotionally crippled.
'But I know what hell he’s living in. I’ve had psychotic episodes in public. One of them was on camera – the opening scene of Apocalypse Now. So I know what Charlie is going through. And when you do something like that, that is out of control, that’s the most difficult thing. You have to have courage.’ As he says this, Sheen, usually so vibrant and engaging, seems to slump inwards.
And I was totally with Martin about "Faith" until I realized he's talking about the belief and not the George Michael song.
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Submitted by Bjork You on Mon, 03/21/2011 - 8:04pm.
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen:
I'm glad, too, that you sent me the link to this woman, who was ripped off by Jerry Seinfeld's demonically climbing, hopelessly mediocre troll of a wife. She got herself on Oprah's show, and her husband went on other big shows slamming the Sneaky Chef.
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You're welcome. I heard of the SC right before her book was coming out and I thought it was fabulous and the next thing I knew Mrs. Seinfeld had one out and was coopting all the interest and the idea, gold-digging bitch. So, I stayed true to the original.
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"I'd hate to have to go around thinking of health & shit like that." Keith Richards, 1997
I still can't quite figure out what happened to Charlie's lips. He had nice, full ones back in the Platoon days--now they are simply gone.
THE MAN IS LIPLESS!
Submitted by LA on Mon, 03/21/2011 - 1:58pm.
Uh, why doesn't CBS and Warners just take Chuck Lorre out of the equation. He can run Mike & Molly or The Big Bang Theory, the other two shows he executive produces. Lorre will still get paid for Two and a Half Men, but he doesn't need to be onset. Keep those two apart, for crissake.
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That's what I thought! That show sucks balls anyway, so it might be better without Chuck Lorre there. I seriously doubt anyone will be able to tell the difference.
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen: "Bjork, have you tried The Sneaky Chef?
http://www.thesneakychef.com/"
Wow, I was impressed with the Brainy Brownies that look really good, despite those heinous ingredients. Thanks!
I'm glad, too, that you sent me the link to this woman, who was ripped off by Jerry Seinfeld's demonically climbing, hopelessly mediocre troll of a wife. She got herself on Oprah's show, and her husband went on other big shows slamming the Sneaky Chef.
Julian Sands, lol at the 'Warlock' ref.
Yup, what Charlie needs is Richard E. Grant to go all post-medieval on his ass.
A quote from Giles Redferne's character:
"Thwarting a vile beast of a man who shall not rest until God himself is thrown down, and all of creation becomes Satan's black hell besmeared farting hole!"
I'd pay 2.5 men bucks to see that . . .'The Thwartening!'
What a selfish, arrogant prick Charlie Sheen is. I guess Martin Sheen used to do drugs; Or at least drink his brains out. I heard he had a heart attack while making Appocalypse. Imagine that coke whore filing a 100 million dollar lawsuit !! Damn !
Bjork, have you tried The Sneaky Chef?
http://www.thesneakychef.com/
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"I'd hate to have to go around thinking of health & shit like that." Keith Richards, 1997
It's all about the bottom line.
...My darling can't you see
My heart sounds just for you my dear...
YAY!!! Make him get REHAB first, PLEASE!! or that show should be called "TWO and a HALF TEETH!" starring "METHUPed Charlie NOMOTEETH Sheen"
In other words Moonves sees that Charlie is selling out shows and making money and he wants to harness the crazy to make money for him.
Charlie doesn't deserve shit. But I hope Lezlo is looking at this and thinking what the fuck is going on and why no one wants her crackhead ass. Charlie must know a lot of shit about people or his connections run so deep they can overlook this behavior. It's mind boggling.
"I tried getting my kid to eat some veggie mash that I thought would be so healthy, and he was like, no. Then I tasted it and was like, no.
Back to pizza. Again. And again. And, sadly, again.
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Perhaps you should check out some cookbooks or online recipe sites, because there are Many, Many tasty ways to cook a veg; the key is to keep it full of nice texture and color. There are also many dipping options for raw veggies, perhaps your child would prefer a dip you may not; if you offer variety, you'll find out. :-)
When I was raising my sister, I never told her "I do or don't like this food." I'd let her try it to see if she liked it for herself. I ended up with a kid who likes raw veggies. :-)
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"You're ugly and your fucking bag is ugly too."--John Galliano (allegedly)
Les Moonves GREATLY misunderstands Charlie's sudden increased "popularity" -- ADVERTISERS will understand this better and AVOID and new shows like the plague. Just because people slow down/stop traffic to gawk at a car accident doesn't mean "it" is entertaining. Moonves is too greedy to see the difference; and he is NOT a good steward of the public airwaves, obviously.
My vision of world peace: a chicken in every pot, and pot for all us chickens...and weasels.
Uh, why doesn't CBS and Warners just take Chuck Lorre out of the equation. He can run Mike & Molly or The Big Bang Theory, the other two shows he executive produces. Lorre will still get paid for Two and a Half Men, but he doesn't need to be onset. Keep those two apart, for crissake.
Bite me!
Moonves is smart- this is ratings GOLD! Winning! Of course he'll get a raise- he just added millions of viewers if he goes back on.
It's a show for half-wits, sadly my own darling mother included in that group. I can't understand how it's the most popular sitcom on TV.
Submitted by Joeb on Mon, 03/21/2011 - 10:25am.
All the greats die in the bathroom.
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While that may be true, Charlie Sheen is NOT one of the "greats" Maybe a "grate" on the nerves.
And it is a very sad commentary on the taste of Americans that that crap show is so popular.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
First of all, Chuck Lorre is in the driver's seat. He should tell Les Moonves that there is no chance of a reconciliation with Chucky Sheen. Moonves has no integrity, which is doing the right thing even if no one knows about it.
Lorre is more valuable to networks. He's made some good comedies and continues to make good comedies. Moonves better realize that Lorre is truly more valuable to his organization.
Chucky Sheen needs to go on tour and then collapse when he learns that he fell off the small screen. He will not be welcome back to the large screen, either. He will be the male version of LiLo.
Watched a bit of 2.5 Men the other night on a late-night rerun and it was surreal to see Charlie sane, round-faced, and not ranting.
Love the way the TLC special pointed out that CS is stuck in the 80's with his "gnarly" references, among others. Kind of like those folks who wear stonewashed jeans--the 80's was the best decade of their lives and they're staying there, damnit.
Submitted by cripbabe on Mon, 03/21/2011 - 12:49pm.
jt
watch, not only will they bring back his crazy ass, bet they up his salary next season too.
why the fuck doesn't this kind of shit happen to the rest of us?
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No shit. I'd love to call my boss an asshole and stay home from work and sue them and get begged to come back and get a raise.
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"I'd hate to have to go around thinking of health & shit like that." Keith Richards, 1997
jt
watch, not only will they bring back his crazy ass, bet they up his salary next season too.
why the fuck doesn't this kind of shit happen to the rest of us?
Submitted by Kiddo on Mon, 03/21/2011 - 10:38am.
I'm not buying his mental meltdown unless he shaves his head and gets stabby with an ubrella. He's already selling t-shirts with his retarded rants.
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Not only is he selling t-shirts but he's fucking going on TOUR!! They said his tour stop in NYC (I think, don't quote me on that) sold out in 18 minutes!!! Oh yeah, he's crazy alright...crazy like a fucking fox.
Team Charlie. This is the best crazy train EVAH
Wonderful lesson for all the douchebags who follow all this 'duh winninh I'm an awesome warlock drug'....can't wait for these tired catchphrases to be continued in bars and the workplace. I'll kill anyone I see with tiger blood or a winning coffee mug.
If this show is important enough to be brought back, then by all means I eagerly await the return of Murder She Wrote and T.J. Hooker.
Its too late for the CBS Execs and their show - like a failing restaurant that suddenly stays open 24Hours in a last ditch effort to not go under but does so anyway and usually within nine months. It's over, move on, nothing to see here.
Submitted by Hekki on Mon, 03/21/2011 - 11:05am.
Bjork, yeah, I have caved before. Of course there are some things that are hard and fast rules. Here's my compromise: If they don't eat their veg they can have fruit for dessert. ;)
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*in a Scottish accent*
"HOW can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?"
Shame on Mr. Chenbot for making the warlock's ego even bigger.
"You know, Charlie’s 45 years old. He’s not a kid. Emotionally he still is. Because when you’re addicted, you don’t grow emotionally. So when you get clean and sober you’re starting at the moment you started using drugs or alcohol. You’re emotionally crippled."
Awwwww, hell Martin. Prepare to be bombed by the F-18 of Winning Warlocks any minute now.
Ok, enough pontificating, I need some liquor.
-LOVE ANDERSON
Submitted by howdareyou on Mon, 03/21/2011 - 11:30am.
Submitted by charlie m on Mon, 03/21/2011 - 11:18am.
a lot of those bums you see circling around the greyhound station talking to themselves and laying down with their penis exposed
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA
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Here’s to a long life and a merry one.
A quick death and an easy one
A pretty girl and an honest one
A cold beer – and another one
"Because when you’re addicted, you don’t grow emotionally. So when you get clean and sober you’re starting at the moment you started using drugs or alcohol. You’re emotionally crippled."
He's right about that! I feel bad for Martin Sheen and the rest of the family, esp. the kids. The boys are too young to understand what's going on but they will grow up fast. As amusing as this is for those of us who are not personally involved, it must be awful for those who love Charlie.
I didn't watch Seinfeld for years because it was so popular I thought it must suck. Then I watched it and found out how awesome it was. Same with 30Rock. So I tried to watch 2 1/2 men and
OMG it sucked SOOOOOO BAD. The mind is boggled.
Charlie's not clean; he's doing a "Lohan". He's popping pills provided by doctors around L.A. who write prescriptions for celebrities that need to beat a drug test but don't want to give up that loving feeling.
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Malcolm Tucker's Law:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xe3Ou9xBAlI&feature=related
Submitted by charlie m on Mon, 03/21/2011 - 11:18am.
a lot of those bums you see circling around the greyhound station talking to themselves and laying down with their penis exposed
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You say "beembo," I say "BIMBO." You say "sloot," I say "slut!" You say "whore," I say "hi." - Michael K, 3/3/11
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Mon, 03/21/2011 - 11:24am.
Submitted by citizenstrange on Mon, 03/21/2011 - 11:19am.
The fact that "Two and a Half Men" is the highest rated show on TV (said in robot voice) "Make citizenstrange feel saaaaaaad."
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no more sad than the popularity of "Dancing With The Has Beens", "The Bachelor", "Celebrity Apprentice" or of the fucking Kardashians.
Stupidity is Rampant these days.
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thank you. I stopped in here specifically, to ask .. WTF ??? this 2.5 Men sucks. ass. period.
not even remotely funny.
I guess that answers my question.
Submitted by citizenstrange on Mon, 03/21/2011 - 11:19am.
The fact that "Two and a Half Men" is the highest rated show on TV (said in robot voice) "Make citizenstrange feel saaaaaaad."
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no more sad than the popularity of "Dancing With The Has Beens", "The Bachelor", "Celebrity Apprentice" or of the fucking Kardashians.
Stupidity is Rampant these days.
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Daddy wherever you are, remember me
In what ever you do, I love you
-Lucky Dube
The things is, I had the wonderful opportunity of being around two dudes who got messed up on crack a few years ago, and they acted exactly like Charlie. If you've experienced it first hand with someone, you know.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Submitted by im_not_creative on Mon, 03/21/2011 - 11:18am.
So sick of this tiger-blood-Adonis-winning-duh-special-never-be-one-of-you-goddesses-exploiting-my-fuckery-woman-beating motherfucker.
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THANK YOU. Every time I see that number sign with "winning" in all caps, I want to punch a baby or a special needs kid or every elderly person waiting in line at the pharmacy.
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The physical appearance of the please makes no difference.
The fact that "Two and a Half Men" is the highest rated show on TV (said in robot voice) "Make citizenstrange feel saaaaaaad."
Submitted by Stoney on Mon, 03/21/2011 - 11:01am.
Submitted by charlie m on Mon, 03/21/2011 - 10:45am.
I do not believe in a hundred trillion years that Charlie has gone cold turkey on drugs and alcohol when there is absolutely nothing forcing him to do so. Why would he go through ANY of that, especially if he believes he is winning? The man is clearly, obviously, so apparently still on crack it is a total wonder to me that people actually believe he is sober. Blows my mind. If he passed any drug tests he cheated. You cannot come from where Charlie was and just sit around the house and go cold turkey when you are as selfish as he clearly is. Also, if you have eyes you can LOOK at him.
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i think you may be right, but i don't know...he's had several drug tests and one of them was official. i think there is a possibility the drugs and alcohol fried his brain so freaking much he has developed a psychosis. it certainly is nothing new. a lot of those bums you see circling around the greyhound station talking to themselves and laying down with their penis exposed, their brains are so freakin damaged from alcohol and drugs they don't even know a happy feeling from a sad feeling or daylight from dusk.
So sick of this tiger-blood-Adonis-winning-duh-special-never-be-one-of-you-goddesses-exploiting-my-fuckery-woman-beating motherfucker. Only frat boys think you're cool, asshat. AWESOME.
I gotta have faith-afaith-afaith-afaith AHHHH!
~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♥~♦¤♦~♥~
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lnRDU4LdZE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t56s4dZ1_rs
WIGS EYES DO SHOW WHEN HER SLOT TALKS OR SOCK STOPS!! OKAY WOW!!
yada yada yada.
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Daddy wherever you are, remember me
In what ever you do, I love you
-Lucky Dube
Stoney, I totally agree. Charlie ain't sober and straight. Can't guess what he's using, but he is not right. Can you imagine what a nightmare he is to work with?
Who says Charlie wants to go back anyway? I kind of think Charlie has gone beyond sitcoms now. He's getting too big for those britches.
It would surprise me if he went back to the daily grind of sitcom acting. And if he did, he'd probably have a big list of requirements, like sandwiches and massages, and a pound of flesh from Chuck Lorre.
It'll be interesting to see.
Submitted by aingbong on Mon, 03/21/2011 - 11:03am.
stay in touch
want to stay in touch with us?
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NO
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Here’s to a long life and a merry one.
A quick death and an easy one
A pretty girl and an honest one
A cold beer – and another one
Bjork, yeah, I have caved before. Of course there are some things that are hard and fast rules. Here's my compromise: If they don't eat their veg they can have fruit for dessert. ;)
Methinks Martin Sheen is the main reason Charlie knew, without a doubt, that he'd be #WINNING.
♥ Threadkilla!
Every nation ridicules other nations, and all are right.
~Arthur Schopenhauer
Money Money Money! They want Charlie back now because he's a worldwide phenomenon, and their advertising dollars are going to be way more than they were when 2 and a half men was simply "#1".
The #1 hit sitcom is one thing, but the blockbuster Tiger's Blood #winning blah blah sitcom is just too valuable for Les to pass up. Plus Charlie probably has a chance to win that lawsuit. It's always about money in Hollywood. Even stupid Chuck Lorre will bend at the knee and kiss the Tiger's ass if it means several extra millions of dollars in his bank account. All of the rehearsals, etc, will be covered every single night on ET and Access Hollywood. It will be a publicity bonanza. Les is salivating.
Submitted by charlie m on Mon, 03/21/2011 - 10:45am.
I do not believe in a hundred trillion years that Charlie has gone cold turkey on drugs and alcohol when there is absolutely nothing forcing him to do so. Why would he go through ANY of that, especially if he believes he is winning? The man is clearly, obviously, so apparently still on crack it is a total wonder to me that people actually believe he is sober. Blows my mind. If he passed any drug tests he cheated. You cannot come from where Charlie was and just sit around the house and go cold turkey when you are as selfish as he clearly is. Also, if you have eyes you can LOOK at him.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Submitted by Hekki: "This is like telling a kid they can't have dessert unless they eat their vegetables, listening to them have a big tantrum about it and then giving them dessert anyway. Good luck with that."
But haven't you ever caved in once just to get them to shut the hell up? I tried getting my kid to eat some veggie mash that I thought would be so healthy, and he was like, no. Then I tasted it and was like, no.
Back to pizza. Again. And again. And, sadly, again.
Submitted by OurMissC on Mon, 03/21/2011 - 10:50am.
LMAO your avie! I almost missed the movement. Hilarious!
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Curtsy, motherfuckers! MK