No Peen For Joe Jonas
Joe Jonas struts his shit down the hallway like he's trying to scratch an itch on his prostate with every single stomp. That boy's skinny jeans strut makes my nipples spit glitter, but that doesn't mean he's got a thirst that only peen can quench. Joe is a vagina loving, breast licking heterosexual in every single way. So even though the colors of the rainbow shoot off of his heels every time he steps, he's completely straight. Joe talked about Taylor Swift (WHO CARES ABOUT THE SQUINT!) and declared his love for lady vagina to the completely heterosexual magazine Details.
He's dated the troubled Disney star Demi Lovato ("I wish her the best") and the actress Camilla Belle. Taylor Swift was so bitter after their breakup that she wrote a song about it ("Forever & Always") and went on The Ellen DeGeneres Show, in 2008, to complain that Joe had dumped her in a phone call that lasted 27 seconds.Joe countered by saying that it was Swift who had hung up on him. Now he says, "I think all artists have a right to write about what happens to them. But," he adds with a smile, "I have a right to write about things too."
He won't say whether his album will contain a Swift rebuttal—just that there will be songs about "different love scenarios that I've been through, breakups, hurts. Me hurting somebody and feeling bad about it. I think there's a lot of scenarios where people might wanna hear my side of the story."
But who would break up with Joe?
"Some guy," he says with a laugh.
It's a nod to the gay rumors he's been fending off ever since he got into a verbal altercation with some taunting paparazzi earlier this year. "There's nothing wrong with being gay," he says now, "but I'm not."
"If I were gay, why not admit it? I am a normal man. I love women and sex. I am a real hot-blooded Puerto Rican, but I have never been attracted by sex with a man." - Ricky Martin, 1999
"There's nothing wrong with being gay, but I'm not." - Joe Jonas, 2011
I'm joking. Joe Jonas would never tell a lie. You see those raven mink worms over his eyes? They would never stay with him if he told lies. Bitch would have bald brows. Eyebrows don't like liars!
• 
Let me explain something to some people who say, "Who the fuck cares if JJ is gay or straight, and who gives a shit if he is gay and denies it?" Okay, here goes...
There is little question that Joe Jonas is gay. For one thing, my gaydar, which I keep on top of my television, next to a small marble Madonna with Baby. Whenever Joe Jonas appears, it starts shaking, then falls to the floor. (The gaydar, not the Madonna with Baby.)
Every time a gay pop star or gay actor issues a denial in order to keep his income high, it just keeps the playing field uneven, which is unfair, and forces other gay pop stars and actors to lie also, and the same bullshit continues. That is why there is nothing essentially different in 2011 than in 1981 or 1961. So, yeah... that is why we should care.
Gorgeous face and lips. I agree with whoever posted something about him have squatty legs.
He's seriously hot. Only problem for him is he has those short squatty legs. But the face is really perfection.
Hmm... he looks hot. Never jonesed over the Jonases before but I could get on that.
funny in ricky martins quote he puts in all these unnecessary details just to say he's not gay and in Joe's quote its straight to the point.
Centaur,
Nasty girl haz heart.
Luvz you much.
nite and take good care of your precious self.
over and out,
Fraggle
Submitted by Fraggle on Thu, 03/17/2011 - 2:53am.
Submitted by Centaurious on Thu, 03/17/2011 - 2:43am.
OMG, have you ever considered volunteering?
Sarcasm noted ;p
I've heard it can make even the NASTIEST people have a heart.
So you should have NO problem....:)
Hey, I only watch pr0n when nobody is lookin' and then after the dirty deed is done I delete and re-download more pr0n cuz I iz addicted. *oops...I typed that out loud*
Honestly though, the descriptions of the children were disgustingly creepy and more like invites for pedos than invites for future parents. I just cringe because I was a foster-child and don't get me started on baby-sitters. ugh.
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Fraggle, are you OKAY? I mean, if you're drunk, fine, no issues here, hehe, but sarcasm noted?
No sarcasm to note.
OMG, I mean, I don't know...volunteering saved my life (the homeless), and if I was insensitive about adopting kids, I'm sorry, maybe I thought you might volunteer with some kids first?
I thought I was being supportive.
Please don't feel the need to be overly sensitive with me, I'm on YOUR side!!!
You have been very helpful to me tonight in many ways, I thank you a million times over, Kisses, Centy
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"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." ~Marjorie Ingall
And, Centaur, what did I say to make you believe I don't have a heart? :( I sowwy.
I go to bed now. Fuckitall.
Submitted by Centaurious on Thu, 03/17/2011 - 2:43am.
OMG, have you ever considered volunteering?
Sarcasm noted ;p
I've heard it can make even the NASTIEST people have a heart.
So you should have NO problem....:)
Hey, I only watch pr0n when nobody is lookin' and then after the dirty deed is done I delete and re-download more pr0n cuz I iz addicted. *oops...I typed that out loud*
Honestly though, the descriptions of the children were disgustingly creepy and more like invites for pedos than invites for future parents. I just cringe because I was a foster-child and don't get me started on baby-sitters. ugh.
Submitted by Soultonic on Wed, 03/16/2011 - 8:47pm.
GHEEEEY (said with an Asian accent)
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I Just said that outlet in my best asian accent and finger waiving and Laughed so much.
Submitted by Fraggle on Thu, 03/17/2011 - 2:36am.
Centaur, I can't sleep.
OMFG. I was thinking about adopting a child to give them a chance...
Found this:
http://adoptuskids.org/Child/ChildSearch.aspx
Entered in all of my info and input any child from infant to 16 and the creepy ass pedo-bear descriptions of the children made my heart sick and furious all at once. OMG.
I just want to cry because I want to pay it forward somehow even though my life is shiteous right now, I know there has got to be some innocent child who has been through hell who could use my help, but, this sickening site should be SHUT THE FUCK DOWN.
OMG. I'm so upset!
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OMG, have you ever considered volunteering?
I've heard it can make even the NASTIEST people have a heart.
So you should have NO problem....:)
__________________________________
"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." ~Marjorie Ingall
I fucking hate humanity.
sorry for the OT.
I feel sick.
I'm off to throw up.
Centaur, I can't sleep.
OMFG. I was thinking about adopting a child to give them a chance...
Found this:
http://adoptuskids.org/Child/ChildSearch.aspx
Entered in all of my info and input any child from infant to 16 and the creepy ass pedo-bear descriptions of the children made my heart sick and furious all at once. OMG.
I just want to cry because I want to pay it forward somehow even though my life is shiteous right now, I know there has got to be some innocent child who has been through hell who could use my help, but, this sickening site should be SHUT THE FUCK DOWN.
OMG. I'm so upset!
I just realized, I must purchase this issue of Details, not because of Ho(mo) Jonas, but because of The Taming of Russell Brand.
Why exactly is that newsworthy?
I could tame Russell Brand in a short weekend.
Just lock him up with me (an average-looking middle-aged woman) and I'll drum into him, "You're ugly!" "You're not funny!" "You have hips and thighs like a woman." "You're not Jesus Christ, cut your hair, Jesus Christ!"
"I wouldn't fuck you if you were the last man on earth."
That should do it.
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"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." ~Marjorie Ingall
I must confess, I find this one brutally hot! I hate the way he dresses though and wouldn't be shocked if he were gay.
When I read the Ricky Martin quote, I thought it was Joe's quote and thought to myself: "The Jonas Brothers are Puerto Ricans?! That explains why he looks like that!"
This is way out there, but when Ricky Martin FINALLY came out, were his parents still alive?
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"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." ~Marjorie Ingall
Joe Jonas could be wearing his purity ring till he's 90, since butt-fucking his partner is not considered vaginal sex that could lead to conception....
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"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." ~Marjorie Ingall
"If I were gay, why not admit it? I am a normal man. I love women and sex. I am a real hot-blooded Puerto Rican, but I have never been attracted by sex with a man." - Ricky Martin, 1999
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaahahaha
Does it really matter if he is gay or not ? Is he expected to be some icon for gay boys everywhere ? Let him do what he wants.
Dis is JoeJonas?? He looks like a total bitching Spaniard. *temp rises*
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"Skeptical scrutiny is the means, in both science and religion, by which deep insights can be winnowed from deep nonsense. Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known." - Carl Sagan
He looks so different to the first season of Jonas TV show 'ano duhh hes grown up nw' but to me he's less hot tbh:((
And gay> I wish! I don't know mayb.
GHEEEEY (said with an Asian accent)
*************
Don't hate me cause I'm DLeautiful
you bitches are too PICKY! :P
lol
out of all the jonas, he is the one that i would bang.
he is GAY as hell, but i wish he kept his al natural hair, i dont mind.
and i WOULD gid IT!!! oh yeah.
He's dressing less like a twink and has been getting lessons in giving "Blue Steel (TM Zoolander)" from Taylor Launtner, but he's still gay as a picknick basket.
**********
Shiitake happens...
Shaved his chest again. Stay away from the razor Joe; no it does NOT make you look like Justin Timberlake!
So undeniably, unquestionably GAY
Overrated.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Wed, 03/16/2011 - 6:17pm.
Thank you, ma'am!
*bows*
†
"I'm the guardian of this land,
I'm Dracula, Prince of Walacchia.
My name is synonymous with fear and terror
which I sowed and grew and which I fed on."
-Opera IX (Under the Sign of the Red Dragon)
Submitted by Khensu Hetep on Wed, 03/16/2011 - 6:08pm.
His lips look a fucked asshole.
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Ahahahahahahahaha!
This is one Jonas brother that could GET it!
G A Y!
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe to Heaux Confessionals©
His lips look a fucked asshole.
Someone's trying way too hard to shed his Disney image.
†
"I'm the guardian of this land,
I'm Dracula, Prince of Walacchia.
My name is synonymous with fear and terror
which I sowed and grew and which I fed on."
-Opera IX (Under the Sign of the Red Dragon)
Details is beyond gay. I was reading it in front of my gay hairdresser one day and I was like, "I love this magazine, it's supposed to be for guys, but it's really for girls!"
DUH!
Then I quickly added, "and, ummm, GAY guys, of COURSE!"
He just laughed.
Didn't Jakey give some interview to GQ about 10 years ago after Brokeback in which he said that he had never been attracted to a man, but if he were he would have no problem going for it?
I think that's what started the gay rumors.
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"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." ~Marjorie Ingall
Asserting your heterosexuality in Details. Classic.
Gay or not, he's got a face for punching and the "smoldering" leer of a receiver.
†
"I'm the guardian of this land,
I'm Dracula, Prince of Walacchia.
My name is synonymous with fear and terror
which I sowed and grew and which I fed on."
-Opera IX (Under the Sign of the Red Dragon)
Gay.
___________________
"The world is a pretty nice place if you're happy"
John Garfield
No one lives forever
"not that there's anything WRONG with it!"
============
UPDATE! No-one gives a shit!
-Tourette's Guy
MK putting those two quotes from RM and JJ was genius.
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I've written a letter to MK...saying...I...love...youuuuuu.
Homegirl is full of shit, I just saw him at a restaurant in my neighborhood,, he had the softest voice and was with a table full of mary's, not one female in the whole crew.
Out of all of the young celebs ot there, he is probably the fair(y)est of them all. (Had to throw in a Disney reference!)
Srsly, he is one gorgeous man. Too bad I'm female and he's gay.
Oh well, there's always Nick...
i wouldn't stick it into him, str8 or not. he's repulsive.
(kiss this)--------------------------->>> (_!_)
Oooooo - he so rugged! LMAO.
Gay child, please!
Ok, enough pontificating, I need some liquor.
-LOVE ANDERSON
Somewhere in that interview he says how great his current girlfriend is because she's all about his feelings and follows him to obscure places he performs.
Oh, so you're a major douche and your girlfriend is a needy follower.
Got it.
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The physical appearance of the please makes no difference.
I knew Diana Ross here would dump her Supremes.
Submitted by Deusex on Wed, 03/16/2011 - 3:29pm.
Exhibit A:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rP-KFnYg6Hw
The prosecution rests.
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I love how she acts like she doesn't know the words.
That's right, I said SHE!
You make me hate my hips! I hate my hips!
He has severe gay face. I met him and bros last year. They are soft and tiny, like little puppies.
I can't believe Ricky said being gay wasn't "normal"!
Exhibit A:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rP-KFnYg6Hw
The prosecution rests.
He's the gayest elf thing Ive seen since Bloomers in LOTR
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What's up, douchebag?
SO gay. These pics are incontrovertible.