What Would Justin Bieber Say?!
In December of 2009, Usher made the phrase "dumb fuck" proud when he supposedly left $1 million worth of jooree and two laptops in the trunk of his car. When you leave over $1 million of valuables in a car that is not the OnStar lady's wet dream KITT, the universe will reward your dumbfuckness by sending a ho to snatch your car. That's exactly what happened to Usher and now TMZ is saying that he might've taken his dumbness to the next level by leaving a sex tape on one of those stolen laptops. Because now somebody is peddling an Usher fuck tape and trying to sell it to the highest bidder. And no, Usher's sex tape will not make its debut at the NAMBLA Film Festival, because it doesn't co-star a certain Canadian superstar toddler.
TMZ says they have seen two stills and a clip of the tape and can confirm Usher slurps on the wet parts of his ex-wife Tameka Foster. TMZ also adds that "the people in the video are both givers."
My fuck parts are in a state of confusion over this. On one hand, it's a good day whenever dick gets its time under the spotlight. On the other hand, the dick is attached to Justin Bieber's adoptive daddy and it's also getting some tongue action from the big-boned skeleton that is Tameka Foster. The thought of those two scissoring is already a traumatic experience, but now those thoughts might be brought to life on our monitors? Well, it's good news for those of you who are fans of Skeletor and Orko porn fiction.
Don't get me wrong, my love for seeing peen in action knows no bounds, so I would definitely hit "play" on that mess. But I just know that doing so will suddenly make me an expert at cringe fapping.
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OMG..eeewww
How can this happen? Why put ur own sex tape on ur laptop?
This is incredibly shallow, but this tank is quite unatttractive and usher looks like a skinny ninja turtle
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Cartman (singing): Whenever I see Jesus up on that cross / I can’t help but think that he looks kinda hot.
Submitted by buddhistgirl69 on Tue, 03/15/2011 - 1:55am.
"I have a sex tape or two out there... and some nude photos. (...)"
At the risk of sounding like the frigid prude that I am, are you pulling our micro peens or is this one for realz?
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Who are you calling silly cow?
I have a sex tape or two out there... and some nude photos. One happy night hanging with my new husband, his best friend looked at me and said" I think I saw you in a porn, didn't I?" Well my blood ran cold... then I wondered what address they had been sending my residual checks too?!!!!
SHUDDER!!!!! I want no part of this mess. I don't even want to live on the same planet as this. It's probably similar to an episode of Tranny Surprise (NSFW)
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Menage a NO! NO! NO!-MK
Is it me or is Tameka's weave flipping us the bird?
♥~~~♥~~~♥~~~♥~~~♥~~~♥~~~♥
elen sila lumen omentilmo-LOTR
I can think of few things I'd rather see less than a sex tape with these two.
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"I'm like a tree, I feed the branches of the people." - Kanye West
Cringe fapping ftw.
Submitted by Nanners on Mon, 03/14/2011 - 9:07am.
"the people in the video are both givers." Refers to pegging, no?
I had to google this one, but thank you for adding a new word to my vocabulary. One is never too old to learn.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
Weren't these two uglies married and doesn't that make this a pathetic publicity stunt?
so its gay porn? Cuz she looka lika man
www.theinfamouslife.com
www.twitter.com/so_infamous
Leaked hetero sex tape, the best way to keep them closeted secrets intact. It is not a bad thing just come out.
Submitted by Bjork You on Mon, 03/14/2011 - 11:05am.
Submitted by jackie: "and i've seen at least 2 or 3 ghetto comments on here. the fuck is up w/ that? oh right, he's black so he's automatically ghetto FOH!"
I know. Half the people who use the term have no idea what it means (and don't know any black people), so there you go.
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THIS. TRUE. TY.
Is this before or after her botched plastic surgery?
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Submitted by jackie: "and i've seen at least 2 or 3 ghetto comments on here. the fuck is up w/ that? oh right, he's black so he's automatically ghetto FOH!"
I know. Half the people who use the term have no idea what it means (and don't know any black people), so there you go.
Whatever.
Tameka still looks like an ugly guy, and we all know, except for Usher, that Usher is at least bi.
right Dee?
I'd rather look at Freddy Krueger than these 2 fucking. It would be less scary.
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I know someday you'll have a beautiful life
I know you'll be a star in somebody else's sky
But why, why, why can't it be, can't it be mine?
- Pearl Jam
Submitted by MJF: "...I'm pretty sure he's not going to sell the footage of his cellulite-ridden, saggy-titted wife to the highest bidder..."
I don't know, do you cruise any porn sites? There is a market for EVERY. THING.
From your description, you would be in the busty MILF category.
I have no desire to see these two fuck on each other, although I do dig man/man porn...
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i've got the brains, you've got the looks...let's make lots of money...
*swallows back bile* Who in their right mind would watch these two get it on? And why do bitches gotta record everything? All you need is a mirror and a good memory.
"...can confirm Usher slurps on the wet parts of his ex-wife Tameka Foster."
*Gag* For one of the loveliest sex acts, that is quite a disgusting (albeit accurate) description.
I don't really have a problem with people doing it on camera if that's their thing (There may or may not exist some pretentiously posed nudes of a younger Datura in her art school days... shhhh), but why are the celeb sex tapes that get released never of people anyone would actually want to see having sex?
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
and i've seen at least 2 or 3 ghetto comments on here. the fuck is up w/ that? oh right, he's black so he's automatically ghetto FOH!
*reserves a copy*
Usher should just buy the tape himself to spare his ex wife the embarrassment.
I have a feeling that even if he did this, it would still end up on the internet.
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It's not that serious.
He's a skinny, fem weirdo who makes crappy, ersatz "dance" music. Can't stand him or his ilk.
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It is better to die on your feet than live on your knees.
NO BID...
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It sounds like I'll need to be drunk, stoned and suffering from a minor concussion to deal with this fuckery. MK - November 2008
Yeah, Tameka is a MAN, baby...
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I mean, we should ALL look like Richard Simmons at least one time in our lives-MK
I just feel the odd pairing makes for hot sex. All sorts of gender confusion, it's a recipe for some freak-nasty shit.
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I mean, we should ALL look like Richard Simmons at least one time in our lives-MK
Mike, you are so funny! Honestly, sometimes you just crack me up. Skeletor and Orko porn!
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat:""they're both givers" = Tameka works a mean strap-on."
Exactly what I was thinking. HAHAHAHHAHA!
MJF, I think that is awesome! I blushingly admit to having some photo evidence of some stuff, and it's kind of nice to see what a fabulous body I used to have (and back then all I could see were flaws, JesusChrist). I love xtube's regular hairy floppy jiggly people who are reallllly into showing off their nookie, and I think it's more fun to watch than the bored hardbodies just doing it for a paycheck. Yay! Team homemade sex tape!
DP
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That big ten-head must give you lots of brain room, huh, Goldigga - Vern
As Karen Walker used to say "put your legs in the air and think of handbags, bitch" - SpiceDong
"Usher slurps on the wet parts of his ex-wife"...yuck, yuck and yuck.
Tried doing the sex tape thing once....then destroyed the evidence after one viewing. I dont need to be reminded of my saggy mum boobs and his white, hairy arse
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That big ten-head must give you lots of brain room, huh, Goldigga - Vern
As Karen Walker used to say "put your legs in the air and think of handbags, bitch" - SpiceDong
"they're both givers" = Tameka works a mean strap-on.
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"I will re-name jackhat, PantyClaus." 12/16/10 BRADIFUL BITCH
"the people in the video are both givers."
Refers to pegging, no?
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twerk those stumps!
Okay, I feel compelled to weigh in on this one: For some reason (God only knows), Mr. MJF has always been drawn to taking pictures or video of us during sexy times - I'm normally VERY opposed because any ONE of my kids are capable of hacking into any computer on the planet and do NOT need to see their parents doing fucky-fucky times. However...there are a couple of videos my husband has been able to convince me to allow (with copious amounts of Chardonnay) that are in his possession. At first, I had no idea why he wanted them. But over the years, it's become clear that he just really likes reminiscing about the sex we have. In a way, I'm a bit flattered - I mean, he could be out there on the internet looking at anybody and everybody else doing it, but he just wants to look at us. We've been together for nearly 20 years - I'm pretty sure he's not going to sell the footage of his cellulite-ridden, saggy-titted wife to the highest bidder, so I don't need to worry about it showing up on the internet. But, on some level, I'm kind of glad that it still makes him "happy" to rewind and replay our tawdry porn.
~*~Hello, my baby! Hello, my honey! Hello, my ragtime gal....~*~
I don't get the sex tape thing either. And I usually just assume that any celebrity sex tape was made with the intent of eventual public sale.
But will Chili watch? Lol.
"not so fast tom ryan..."
I always got the feeling that his "marriage" was either the result of a lost bet, a favor to someone, or his end of the bargain in some contractual obligation.....
This pairing just seems so odd to me.
Will Tammy's stretch marks be on full display in said tape? They've said "hi" to an unsuspecting public before.
*voms*
Ok, enough pontificating, I need some liquor.
-LOVE ANDERSON
Submitted by rukiddingme on Mon, 03/14/2011 - 8:51am.
Tameka always looked like a drag queen to me.
Raul bets that Tameka dude has a huge schlong. ************************************************************************************************ "Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree, and banged every guy on the way down?" http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/8867f06ee0/the-charlie-sheen-is-too-da
Ummmm....no!
I don't get it either. The last thing that I would ever want to see is my nasty old ass crack humping up and down in HD.
Tameka always looked like a drag queen to me.
www.theanimalrescuesite.com - Click everyday to help animals in shelters
www.petfinder.com - Enter your zip code & find pets available in your area for adoption.
Are people really this stupid?? Really? Why can't they just watch themselves in the mirror like old school narcissists? The mirror will never tell. It might crack, but it won't tell.
Ok, enough pontificating, I need some liquor.
-LOVE ANDERSON
I don't understand this sex tape mania... OK, I made one when I was 18 but it was totally innocent... Not really, but my point is: you do that kind of shit when you're 18, not 30+.
And certainly NOT if you're famous.
Submitted by Raul Duke on Mon, 03/14/2011 - 8:38am.
YUCK! Raul would rather see R.Kelly pee on Bieber.
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I'd rather see anybody pee on Beiber.
Why do people make sex tapes unless they really want them to be made public? Seriously?
And I do NOT want to see these two... dirty man-ho and gross manly ghetto trash.
Wow - Usher in a gay sex tape scandal. Are we sure he's not Republican?
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Dark-sided!
she's so manly in the face area
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Tameka's camp must be peddling it, and it's not from the laptops. That's just a convenient story for the leak (as it were).
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"The beach was a desert of heaps of sea and stones tumbling wildly about, and the sea did what it liked, and what it liked was destruction. It thundered at the town, and thundered at the cliffs, and brought the coast down, madly."