Coochie Trauma Alert
Some of you in Toronto might have been wondering why the stores were sold out of Crisco, every crane in the city was rented out, latex poisoning experts were put on standby and the Tug of War champion was flown in. It wasn't boys night at the pop-up Scientology Center. Janet Jackson's tour hit Toronto and that's pretty much what it takes to get her into that labia-crushing Tron suit.
The look on Janet's face accurately expresses how her crotch is feeling at that very moment. That shit looks like a camel toe with Morton's syndrome. Like a baby mole trapped inside of a plastic bag. Not only is Janet flattening her clit like a fettuccine noodle, but this is also fueling the old rumor that she's got bendy straws for ribs.
I bet Janet employs a full-time CPR technician who gets her coochie breathing again as soon as she gets off stage. Hmmm. Maybe that's the whole point. Janet might be a genius.
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whatyagonnado
She actually sold out a lot of venues and added more dates. Speaking of The Velvet Rope, its funny how Rihanna is completely copying her old look with
the red hair.
Oh, and I also wanted to mention that if Janet pulls another "Velvet Rope", she'll be bathed with roses by the masses! That was her last great album!! 1986-1999 = Janet. Everything that followed was horrible. She tried to compete with kids. She dumbed down her music.
You have to hand it to Janet. She can barely sell out halls the size of high school gymnasiums for this tour, and she dubs it "Up Close and Personal", like she's doing it specifically to be closer to her fans. lol.
She's getting that Tina Turner menopausal body look. She's 45, so I guess I can't blame her. It's Mother Nature.
Thank god she put the stomach away, but of course the titties have come out to play again. It's a nice 60s catsuit. It does show some of her rolls on the side though. Nice haircut too. Her dancer's costumes still look like they were purchased at K-mart. Can't her billionaire boyfriend shell out a couple of bucks to get them decent outfits?
Thank god she dumped Jermaine Dupri! The best decision she's made in recent years. I can almost overlook the tragic fur selling thing because of her doing that.
Built like a water buffalo. And that outfit would've looked better on her brother...
Submitted by Fraggle on Sun, 03/13/2011 - 10:51pm.
Submitted by precociousmagpie on Sun, 03/13/2011 - 10:22pm.
She's always been nothing but a knockoff of her brother, and now she's just a graverobber, down to those faux-tortured "angry" faces. She hasn't got one tenth of Michael's talent--totally manufactured, from the music to the face to the body. Not sexy.
Wow. Really? Really?
I think Janet is as talented if not more so than her big bro.
If Janet was a talentless schmuck, well, she'd be her retarded but beautiful sister LaToya.
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Damn. We gonna come to blows, girl??
Yeah, I just don't get the Janet love. Her voice is so thin, her moves are all copied from Michael--unless he copied them from HER! Never thought of that.
Mostly I'm bothered by her apparent self-loathing; all the surgery, the up-and-down weight, the hiding behind "production values". Without a studio, without electronics, what does Janet sound like? That's the acid test for me. Also, I'm not much into dancing/dance music, which probably colors my opinion somewhat.
Let's hear Janet singing the theme from Willard a capella, and then I'll reconsider! ;)
You think Honey Badger cares? Honey Badger don't give a shit.
"The Tug of War champion was flown in."
LMFAO MK you fucking KILL me sometimes!
This is why I love this site, that and all the retards with their smartass comments. lol
Nice way to start a shitty Monday anyway, have a good week everyone.
YIKES...that is all.
Sucky 12/14/09 Motherfucker, I lick pits for a living
LawDog 03/15/2010 Leenie, LOL. I think we can all agree that I am the most important person ever Salacious 7/15/10 Thank you Leenie! You made me smile like a 19th century whore who got overpaid
She has always looked beautiful. Her body looks great, but the outfit is fugly, IMO. I hate it when performers wear these kinds of costumes that make them look like superheroes.
I lovee her Velvet Rope cd and a lot of her old songs but haven't liked anything new. I'm rooting for her though, I'd like her to be ON TOP again!
Bitch is built like a brickhouse. I'd love to have her curves.
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I like living this way. I like loving this way.
I don't like her music or anything, so I'm just going to cut the crap, but I'd love to be "fat" like her. The cleavage looks amazing.
†
"I'm the guardian of this land,
I'm Dracula, Prince of Walacchia.
My name is synonymous with fear and terror
which I sowed and grew and which I fed on."
-Opera IX (Under the Sign of the Red Dragon)
I love her music. Janet looks a bit plump here. I think she gained some weight. She seems happy.
Submitted by precociousmagpie on Sun, 03/13/2011 - 10:22pm.
She's always been nothing but a knockoff of her brother, and now she's just a graverobber, down to those faux-tortured "angry" faces. She hasn't got one tenth of Michael's talent--totally manufactured, from the music to the face to the body. Not sexy.
Wow. Really? Really?
I think Janet is as talented if not more so than her big bro.
If Janet was a talentless schmuck, well, she'd be her retarded but beautiful sister LaToya.
Submitted by sanguinivorous on Sun, 03/13/2011 - 5:58pm.
Never been able to see her as any kind of sexual entity. She always looks like some kind of big, generally lifeless plastic doll to me.
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She's always been nothing but a knockoff of her brother, and now she's just a graverobber, down to those faux-tortured "angry" faces. She hasn't got one tenth of Michael's talent--totally manufactured, from the music to the face to the body. Not sexy.
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You think Honey Badger cares? Honey Badger don't give a shit.
Not flattering. Silver sausage casing.
.
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Submitted by Talkdirty2me on Sun, 03/13/2011 - 8:31pm.
I love her, her music and her performances. Buuuuut..I gotta say, I wore a pvc catsuit for Halloween last year and it had me sweatin' like a whore in church! Not comfortable.
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Lol. I was thinking about wearing one for Halloween this year. I might have to rethink it.
=D
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
She's amazingly photogenic. Every pic looks fabulous, which is something to brag about because most performers look like wet cats when pics are taken of them onstage. And I love a good camel toe. Bring it girl!
I love her, her music and her performances. Buuuuut..I gotta say, I wore a pvc catsuit for Halloween last year and it had me sweatin' like a whore in church! Not comfortable.
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"If you're going through hell, keep going" ~ Winston Churchill
certain sub-sections & various clauses of my Mummy job description required me to take my daughter to see gigs I would NEVER go to...Janet (Velvet Rope Tour) was one of them...she was incredible
of course they now come to Mummy's gigs ;)
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...The wind is rushing after us, and the clouds are flying after us, and the moon is plunging after us, and the whole wild night is in pursuit of us...
That looks so uncomfortable. I bet it's really hot under the stage lights, too.
Am I the only one who has never liked her and thinks she is phoney as hell?
And she's too old to wear that shit.
Am I the only one who has never liked her and thinks she is phoney as hell?
And she's too old to wear that shit.
I was at that concert last night and from where my seat was she looked fabolous!!!
KAD
Willona, what do you think of baby girl now?
That last pic with the open hand and the stance is pure Michael .....is she copying or is it a genetic thing??? Michael would have loved this outfit methinks..... god what would I give to look like that?????Sigh.....
Her face is gorgeous. Why does she have to ruin it with that laughable outfit?
Never been able to see her as any kind of sexual entity. She always looks like some kind of big, generally lifeless plastic doll to me.
Went to the concert last night, quite fantastic!
I thought she had boob work. She's defo had other parts sculpted; it's what the Jacksons do.
. . . . . . .
Time-lapse video of Crescent City, CA harbor during tsunami
Great tits. Shame about the oufit.
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Shiitake happens...
Next time she gets measured up for a costume they need to take her cooch dimensions.
Bust, waist, hips and inside leg just isn't enough information for a Janet outfit.
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"I still wouldn't..." - Satan
OMG. That's her 'performance' costume, ya'll.
This isn't her sleepwear.
Dayum.
Looking good for her age or not, she still looks really flippin' uncomfortable.
I was gonna wear that today.
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You think Honey Badger cares? Honey Badger don't give a shit.
I only see cameltoe in the first picture and it's because of the way she is standing and the rumple in the catsuit - that's not actually her labia outline.
I love how people love to pounce on the female body and rip it to shreds for no reason. She is in amazing shape, and not even just for her age, plus her tits look superb. That's not even subjective.
But I'm sure all this is a problem for the average Dlister who no doubt looks like Vivien Leigh in her prime.
Always remember: there are no accidental cameltoes. #desperate
Looks like 30lbs of crap stuffed into a 20lb bag.
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UPDATE! No-one gives a shit!
-Tourette's Guy
Help Save 26+ Docile Bears Found on B.C. GrowOp
http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Help-Save-the-BC-Black-Bears/142183119155489
Wait-a-fucking-minute-here:
SOOOOO, Aretha gets down to Janet's weight and she's considered 'thin' but Janet at Janet's weight is considered "overweight"?
Oh hell no, bitches!
sooo desperate...
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*snorts another line of Charlie Sheen*
"You're too fat to wear that!"
Why the hatin' on Janet's natural teetas? I want to motorboat those suckers like nobody's business! Yow!
I still love Ms. Jackson, even with her metallic camel toe and suffocated chi chis.
I like camel on Janet..but I have a lady in my office who could drink from hers...its way large
Submitted by DeeDee on Sun, 03/13/2011 - 1:30pm.
That's cooch abuse. Someone call CPS
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haha...*snicker*
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Janet is hawt, but that is no way to treat her cooch or her boobies...all are begging to breathe...
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i've got the brains, you've got the looks...let's make lots of money...
It looks like she is designing her own costumes. It looks like FAIL!
10 lbs. of shit in a 5 lb. sack, the chi-chi's look like bread dough rising. ************************************************************************************************ "Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree, and banged every guy on the way down?"
Love Janet but that outfit looks like she's big burritto wrapped in one inch of tin foill.
Miss Jackson,you need to lose inches or that outfit needs to gain a few inches..like 36" for start!
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
That's cooch abuse. Someone call CPS.
Crankenstein
The picture where she is bending over, gritting her teeth, looks like she is trying to get rid o a wedgie.
A more reserved and less shiny Nona Hendryx is in my head for no apparent reason.