Britney Spears Was Audrey Hepburn In A Past Life
In the new issue of Out Magazine, Noah Michelson asks Brit Brit Spears who thinks she was in a past life and she answered with: Audrey Hepburn. Never mind that Audrey got her angel wings in 1993 and Brit was born from a Frito-Lay mixing machine in 1981, she's absolutely right. Audrey and Brit are both the epitome of graceful elegance. Both inspire couturiers to design full fashion collections based on their timeless beauty. Both can finish a bowl of mashed corn fitters with no hands. And both are known for making jokes about how they think their butt just wet autographed their panties with a fart (they didn't nickname Audrey "My Fart Lady" for nothing). Audrey Hepburn = Britney Spears. Exactly the same!
Here's a few pieces from the interview (get the whole thing here):
When you were starting out, whose career did you want to mold yours after?
Madonna. No question. She is an amazing entertainer. Besides Madonna, I also admire Sarah Jessica Parker’s career and her shoe collection.Are there any of your songs that you wish you hadn’t recorded/you don’t really love?
No. All of my songs are f–ing amazing.How is Femme Fatale different from your other albums?
I think Femme Fatale is my most upbeat and mature album yet.Assuming reincarnation exists, in a previous life I think I was...
Audrey Hepburn, because she was a trend setter.Assuming reincarnation exists, in my next life I’d life to be...
A bird, so I can fly.My idea of hell is...
Being on a diet.My idea of heaven is...
A trip with my kids.What is the best advice you’ve gotten and who was it from?
My mom said when you have a bad day, eat ice cream. That’s the best advice.What is the worst advice a record executive ever told you?
Someone once told me that the "…Baby One More Time" video should be me as a superhero fighting a giant robot monster.What women (living or dead) could make you think twice about your sexuality?
I only have eyes for men.Who is your favorite Golden Girl?
Betty White, because she’s so sweet and innocent.How do you feel about plastic surgery?
When it’s time to pull and tuck, I’m sure I will consider it.I first learned about sex...
When I was 12 years old. From my mom. I was confused and disgusted.Kissing Madonna was...
Cool.You’ve been married twice -- once for only 55 hours. How do you feel about gay marriage?
I think everyone should be treated equally.Lady Gaga is...
Unique.Christina Aguilera is...
Truly talented.
The Brit Brit of a couple of years ago would've answered every question by saying "Huh?! VENTI!", so she's come along way. Actually, I think she did answer every question like that, but Noah is fluent in Cheetonese so he figured it out.
And here's a few pictures of BS that were built by Photoshop.
• 
Every time you think she can't appear any dumber-BAM! Another interview where she looks a sandwich short of a picnic.
SJP has a shoe line? Since when? Retarded hillbilly.
ASSCRACKNEY
~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♥~♦¤♦~♥~
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lnRDU4LdZE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t56s4dZ1_rs
WIGS EYES DO SHOW WHEN HER SLOT TALKS OR SOCK STOPS!! OKAY WOW!!
My idea of hell is...
Being on a diet.
I agree with Brit Brit! Dieting sucks hahaha.
Mine too! LOL..Geesh today I took a break from my diet and eat the snacks I love and feel great. Tomorrow have to jump back on the diet wagon though. I still have a goal to catch up before my birthday :P
Further proof that this country ass bumpkin is one marble away from Loontown!
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe to Heaux Confessionals©
Wow, talk about ham hocks. That is not a sexy pose, in photo #3. Who signed off on that?
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"And people try to tell me that God wasn't high on the good shit when he made this place" -by angel_i
No grain in the silo.
.
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More like Audrey HERPBURN...haha. ha. Sorry, couldn't resist.
GOD BLESS THE TESTICLE-STUMP-PITTS!
-Submitted by agirl on Fri, 02/25/2011 - 12:40pm.
I seriously wish Babs Walters had done that interview.
Then Brit could have made like a tree and left.
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"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." ~Marjorie Ingall
Submitted by BlueOrchid on Wed, 03/09/2011 - 3:21pm.
My favourite part of that interview:
Assuming reincarnation exists, in my next life I’d life to be...
A bird, so I can fly.
Do you have any phobias?
Flying, because I’m not in control.
hahaha. Good point. But as a bird, she'd be in control--albeit flapping her stubby wings very, very hard.
Ever since her breakdown she's got dead eyes, like there's absolutely nothing going on inside that head. It's kind of sad.
I think half of the brain cells just fell out of my head reading that full interview, ugh. How fucking dumb is this chick?
Cankles!
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Droppin Kids Off in the Pool
Please adopt before you visit a breeder: www.petfinder.com to find a pet in your area.
Looks just like her mom in that cover shot. Isn't she a bit too young to have lost all her sex appeal and begin looking like mama??
No matter how they're made up, her eyes always betray the fact that she's three quarters retard.
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"don't even try shitting on my rainbow!!" ~ Fucking_Classy
the expression femme fatale sounds so tacky for me... Like a bad french R&b song.
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Vous savez, moi je ne crois pas qu'il y ait de bonne ou de mauvaise situation.
Submitted by Callie on Wed, 03/09/2011 - 2:28pm.
Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 03/09/2011 - 1:54pm.
So you need a short torso to look good when you are short so your legs aren't stumpy and hideous. Got it.
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I'm 5'3" w/ long legs and a really short torso and I HATE it. I can't tuck in any shirts without looking like my torso is about only 1/8" of my body. More torso please.
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Be careful what you wish for, I'm 5'4" with a long torso and short legs, it sucks for all the reasons mentioned. I could starve myself literally to death and my corpse's legs still wouldn't look skinny unless they cut pieces off and filed down the bone.
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
damn and this chick is supposed to be considered so sexy & talented that she gets paid millions of dollars??
are you kidding me????
I've seen drug addicts walking the streets that look more clean than this chick.
And Im sorry but in her latest video it was only TOO obvious that the producer had to have the thing edited to move shots every 2 seconds so that we would never really get a good look at Britney...I mean I was getting dizzy......
That was a damn typo.....it should read Audrey Hepplejohns..who was a famous crackhead poet living in the Appalachian mountains. Every few years Audrey Hepplejohns would come down from the hills of West Virginia and make her way to the towns local gas station bathroom where she would tiptoe barefoot from stall to stall...reciting her beautiful prose ...from there she would buy a bag of pork rinds (now you know where brit gets her love of greasy things in a bag from)
then after that she would rub West Virginian mud in her hair to make it look all stiff & scraggly.....(again now you know why brit loves that scuzzy look for her mop)
and then trip trop back up the hill...chewing tobacco & smoking a corn cob pipe
Britneys past life revealed at last!!!
I remember her interviews back in 1999, when she was a kid. And she always sounded so dim. But I'd think, "Well, she's 17. She'll grow up." Judging from these answers, I was wrong. Also, I checked out the full interview. This was my fave:
Q: What album do you consider life-changing?
A: Natalie Imbruglia’s Left of the Middle.
A real artist's artist, this one.
wow- if number three is photoshopped it's in the other direction.
Didn't Brit spent a few years convinced she was Princess Diana in a previous life? Of course, those years also involved a pink wig and an umbrella with violent tendencies. So, now it's poor old Audrey Hepburn's turn. I wonder who the next dead celeb to draw the short straw will be.
.
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"I still wouldn't..." - Satan
i honstly dont even care about her thoughts and shit, i'll become a fan again when i see a badass performance where she dances her ass off and dosn't look dead in the eyes (i.e. vma 2000 performance) we'll see how that gma performance goes.
Betty White is sweet and innocent? Haha! In her sleep maybe.
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Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 03/09/2011 - 2:51pm.
Not to make anyone feel bad about saying shit about Britney's body, but I have the same build. Although I'm taller. And these days, a little fatter. Also have a very short torso and I cannot wear any kind of fitted, tailored top.
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Nobody feels bad.
Besides, I would estimate that 90% of the commenters on this site, myself included, have waaaaay more busted body situations going on than Britney. It does not, nor will it ever, stop us from talking shit.
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*tosses a bag of hot dicks into Jeanneee's trough* BON APPETIT BITCH! - Raul Duke, 1/26/11
Submitted by Mr. Mercury on Wed, 03/09/2011 - 2:55pm.
Submitted by johnnysgirl on Wed, 03/09/2011 - 2:42pm.
Submitted by Mr. Mercury on Wed, 03/09/2011 - 2:06pm.
Oh come on. Every good psychoslut knows how to pull off the ever-so-titillating "I might be bi" move by sucking face with a cohort for attention
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While I appreciate your invitation to "come on" (wherever that may be), I am fairly astute at recognizing the titillation factor of pretending to be bisexual to get attention. However poorly, all I was commenting on was the irony of this interview in which the lady in question eschews any attraction to other women. Plus it was a nice way to introduce Chuck Norris into the conversation since he enlivens any discussion. I so appreciate being assisted and will try to be more erudite in the future.
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Aw, don't get chapped Mr. Mercury. I didn't mean it like that. I think the "oh come on" part made it sound different than my intent (should've left it off). I meant only to point out her attention-whoring, not to imply that you missed something. Hugz
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When life gives you lemons...slice 'em up, eat 'em. - Aunt Barbara http://www.youtube.com/user/AuntBarbara
The problem with those statements is that they will never ring true.
Nobody -- not even Britbrit -- has showed us she was capable of thinking the way someone, giving this interview, would respond to those questions.
All the best, Brit.
People are still getting paid to think for you and it's gotta suck knowing that this is the only reason they're 'caring' for you.
Maybe it's just me but her eyes always look like she's either on a lot of meds or nobody is home.
Whoever the stylist of the day was i thought fucked brit brit over
When i first saw the pics i thought to myself damn SHE HAS VERY BAD STRETCH MARKS and what a bad photoshop work
but after looking carefully DAMN those stocking dont photograph very good do they???
*tell em get in line and kiss your ass MUAH!*
Even though she is crazy, I hope she's at least somewhat content in her life. Her body is better than most women, I'll give her that! However, her looks are not what they once were.
Britney's body is just fine. I laugh when people call her fat.
My favourite part of that interview:
Assuming reincarnation exists, in my next life I’d life to be...
A bird, so I can fly.
Do you have any phobias?
Flying, because I’m not in control.
Wow.
Wow. What a fucking vacuous moron. How she made it this far having the IQ of a surfboard is truly beyond me. Nearly every answer she gives is dumber than stupid. No wonder so many blonde hos travel to LA in the hopes of making it.
..
.
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"Charlie you fucking bitch, let's work it out" - High Fidelity
Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 03/09/2011 - 2:51pm.
I feel your pain, Hekki. Long tops and heels help. I also have big shoulders, so even when I have a slimmed down belly and waist, (not now!), I need to get a size larger or I look like The Incredible Hulk.
The change in weather and getting back to gardening work usually helps take the weight off.
Whaddaya gonna do?
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by Datura on Wed, 03/09/2011 - 2:49pm.
"Assuming reincarnation exists, in a previous life I think I was...
Ed Gein because he was a trendsetter. He totally made awesome clothes out of ladies' skin, ya'll!"
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I wish my keyboard could express how hard I just laughed at that.
WTF, either these answers are made up by her manager or she seriaouly is deranged.
What is the best advice you’ve gotten and who was it from?
My mom said when you have a bad day, eat ice cream. That’s the best advice.
Pure genius. Well, now we know where Brit Brit gets all her smarts.
Ok, enough pontificating, I need some liquor.
-LOVE ANDERSON
Submitted by johnnysgirl on Wed, 03/09/2011 - 2:42pm.
Submitted by Mr. Mercury on Wed, 03/09/2011 - 2:06pm.
Oh come on. Every good psychoslut knows how to pull off the ever-so-titillating "I might be bi" move by sucking face with a cohort for attention
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While I appreciate your invitation to "come on" (wherever that may be), I am fairly astute at recognizing the titillation factor of pretending to be bisexual to get attention. However poorly, all I was commenting on was the irony of this interview in which the lady in question eschews any attraction to other women. Plus it was a nice way to introduce Chuck Norris into the conversation since he enlivens any discussion. I so appreciate being assisted and will try to be more erudite in the future.
"Seymour!! You said you'd never get married until you bought me an iron lung!"
Yeah, I remember Audrey Hepburn in her "dirty ratty weave/no panties/filthy bare feet/legs splayed" period. I think that's when Givenchy started to dress her. Britney is of course her perfect reincarnation.
Haldol/Cymbalta/Zoloft/Lamictal is a hell of a drug.
Not to make anyone feel bad about saying shit about Britney's body, but I have the same build. Although I'm taller. And these days, a little fatter. Also have a very short torso and I cannot wear any kind of fitted, tailored top.
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 03/09/2011 - 2:21pm.
Instead of trying to make you sound like some fucking honorary person from society in a past life, I wanna hear someone say they were Ed Gein or Jack the Ripper.
Shit, at least make it interesting!
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Hahaha! Yes.
"Assuming reincarnation exists, in a previous life I think I was...
Ed Gein because he was a trendsetter. He totally made awesome clothes out of ladies' skin, ya'll!"
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 03/09/2011 - 1:12pm.
All the photoshop and make-up in the world still cannot hide the vast realm of space between her eyes.
Right? It's scaring the hell outta me.
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"And then it was like, 'You must let me impose my will on your face.' And it was like, woah dude." - Charlie Sheen
Submitted by Mr. Mercury on Wed, 03/09/2011 - 2:06pm.
"What women (living or dead) could make you think twice about your sexuality?
I only have eyes for men."
Huh? This, after frenching Madonna so hard her tongue came out Vadge's backside?
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Oh come on. Every good psychoslut knows how to pull off the ever-so-titillating "I might be bi" move by sucking face with a cohort for attention.
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When life gives you lemons...slice 'em up, eat 'em. - Aunt Barbara http://www.youtube.com/user/AuntBarbara
I also admire Sarah Jessica Parker's career and shoe collection...because Sarah Jessica Parker is a musician...deep thoughts from a Walmart dumpster. And we've all seen the real SJP too. The one that walks around in Crocs and rolled jeans.
Sweet Lord, those EYES are fucking frightening!
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"And then it was like, 'You must let me impose my will on your face.' And it was like, woah dude." - Charlie Sheen
Britney and Audrey Hepburn don't belong in the same fucking post.
And after viewing thumbnail 3, I feel my lunch coming back up!
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If you shoved a vuvuzela into a dog's ass and asked him to fart into a fan, the sound he produces would be more pleasant to the ears than this shit! - Michael K
Is the cross tattoo on her thigh part of a permanent exorcism for her crotch?
New Britney after old Britney is fired? Noah Cyrus
Meanwhile, this is how this interview goes: Her manager/handlers ask for a list of questions in advance and will only allow the interview if said interview stays with these questions and doesn't stray. Then they figure out what is best for Britney to say and coach her/try to get her to remember the answers correctly and not say too much or talk about her pussy. Or provide pussy shots.
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As useless as a saggy pair of tits
Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 03/09/2011 - 1:54pm.
So you need a short torso to look good when you are short so your legs aren't stumpy and hideous. Got it.
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I'm 5'3" w/ long legs and a really short torso and I HATE it. I can't tuck in any shirts without looking like my torso is about only 1/8" of my body. More torso please.
Leave my Crazy Brit Brit alone!! I can't wait until she is here in San Francisco on March 29th for a performance that will be on Good Morning America! She is gonna shut the city down!! She will be in the Castro!!
Instead of trying to make you sound like some fucking honorary person from society in a past life, I wanna hear someone say they were Ed Gein or Jack the Ripper.
Shit, at least make it interesting!