This Could Be Kate Middleton's Wedding Dress
While my brain is spending its rollover thought minutes on wondering if Prince Hot Ginge is going to wear his lucky Union Jack thong on Britain's special day, most hos are thinking about Kate Middleton's wedding dress. Kate's hitchin' gown is going to be the second most famous dress of the century after THE SLUT DRESS, and now the Telegraph is saying that it will be designed by Sarah Burton of Alexander McQueen. YES! YES! YES! There will be nothing better than seeing Kate Middleton walk down the aisle dressed like a reindeer ghost who fell into a mountain of moth balls after crashing through a gothic grandma's front room curtains. Say fuck yes to that dress, Kate.
The house of Alexander McQueen has denied the rumors, but the Telegraph thinks they are just saying that to keep the noisy noses from sniffing up their assholes. A source says that Kate and Sarah Burton are working on the dress together. The Telegraph goes on:
Mrs Burton, who took over as creative director of the fashion label following the suicide of Alexander McQueen last year, strenuously denied having won the commission.But sources said the 36-year-old had been chosen for the discretion afforded by her relatively low profile, as well as for her alternative take on elegance.
If confirmed, the selection of one of Britain's edgiest labels will be seen as a fresh attempt by Miss Middleton to develop her own unique style after drawing criticism in some quarters for her "conservative" dress sense.
Welp, the designers at David's Bridal can toss their sketch pads into the dumpster, because I guess this contest was won a long time ago. Seriously, though, Kate should have to tackle and stab a trick in the neck for a wedding dress like normal hos do!
And here's a few pictures of Kate throughout the years that her family released. If marrying a royal means that your family gets to release all the awkward photos you thought you burned in a metal trash can in the backyard, then count me the hell out. No, I don't mean that. If getting to wear Prince Hot Ginge's family jewels on my heads means that everybody gets to see me looking like an anorexic brown Bichon Frise with glasses, then bring 'em out.
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It is probably in the best interest of the Royals to have someone like Kate Middleton if she is in fact a calculating, social climbing commoner. First, it is perfect for their image. More Brits will be fooled into thinking they can relate to her and that their daughters can someday become princess because of her. Second, it's better to have a social climber who is willing to put up with lots of shit just for the title than to have someone like Diana who was naive, emotionally unstable, and expected love and happily ever after. They need a commoner family who is calculating and ambitious enough that they will put up with anything to remain in the Royal's good graces. Kate's mum will definitely keep her in her place regardless of what Will does.
About her personality. My problem with her is her lack of accomplishments. I would totally be on board with a marriage to an intelligent girl who was either in school getting her PhD or had significant work experience, preferably doing something noble like teaching or working in public interest. Someone who had a cause and was deeply passionate about important issues. But her entire 20s was spent on dating Will and trying to keep their relationship intact. That was her full-time job in addition to being a part-time accessory buyer and aspiring photographer. I have nothing against fashion but isn't that what every rich, connected girl does as a default career?
But then again, I doubt the Royals want a girl with opinions and a cause. They just want someone who is quiet, goes about her duties diligently, and is completely fine with being bland and not wanting to use her position for her own causes the way Diana did. They want a girl who will follow orders and put on a smile for the cameras no matter what goes on inside the palace walls. That is what Katie has been trained to do by both her parents and the Royals for the last ten years.
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I don't care if you just suffered through a double leg amputation. When Prince orders you to move, you twerk those stumps with all your might. - Michael K
Submitted by stake_spike on Tue, 03/08/2011 - 2:45am.
Thank you. I always took these claims that her parents were ultra-wealthy with a big 'ol heaping of salt. As you and others said, most of their wealth comes from their homes-the second of which they bought so Waity Katie could have a London base and (probably) keep an eye on Wills. While their business is said to be successful, few ever heard of it before DD hooked up with William. Also, even if the business is worth a lot, it doesn't mean that the money is liquid or even all theirs depending on how it is structured.
As far as the expensive schools go, I know people who have taken out lines of credit to pay for their kids' private school-both in the US & in the UK.
I really won't be surprised if the funded their lifestyle on credit and the much-hyped family home had a big ol' mortgage on it.
"Daily Mail UK had pics of some of his exes and they were waaaay better looking."
But, haven't you noticed that super-rich guys never marry the best looking women, but always the most socially ambitious (=social climbing) ones? I've worked with/ for a few billionaires and quite a few 100millionaires and a handful of the wives are beautiful and the rest are okay looking. But every single one of those wives was trained at her mother's knee to snag a wealthy husband.
Britain has heaps of gorgeous women, many of whom are aristos, but clearly they weren't as desperate, conniving and disciplined about marrying royalty as was Kate.
Submitted by M.A.G on Mon, 03/07/2011 - 11:33pm
Exactly. Her parents are worth 5m and 3m of that is the value of their home. I think they've probably been funding the vacations/London flat/polo clubs either with what little they have or credit. In fact the Middleton's (Kate and th other two) education at Marlborough was funded by a wealthy great grandparent. They've put on a good show though. After a few years when even they must have thought Kate wasn't going to marry they started trying to get Pippa to marry someone with a title. Funny thing is, the rags have always made it sound like upper class have shunned them. When Wills dumped her, they started trolling Mahiki and the papers were rife with stores about how parents were telling their sons to stay away from them. The Middleton's needed William and I'm sure they're glad he's come around. They had way to much riding on this, who knows what kind of financial situation they'd be in without the Royal Family.
It's slightly sad that the most "exciting" time in this nearly 30 year old woman's life has been when she was a child or in schooling. No other accomplishments have been shown in these photographs.
If she wore McQueen it would be amazing but I have my doubts. A) She is boring and has really boring taste B) McQueen is owned by The Gucci Group i.e. PPR which is a French company (she should be seen to patronise British fashion) so I think that rules them out C) She is boring and not daring.
Also, can we clear a few things up. Her parents are not multi-millionaires. I don't even think millionaires. They own a home that is valued at 1 million dollars and a home in London valued in the mid hundred thousands. I get the impression all her luxury vacations have been funded by the freebies the prince gets. Of course they have money but it's not a bottomless pit.
Also, the job she got at Jigsaw was not through her parents friends. The owners of Jigsaw are friends of Prince Charles. So again, she scored a great job that she was not qualified for through Prince William.
She is terrifying looking in the Brownies picture.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Mon, 03/07/2011 - 1:54pm
The best designer to ever do antlers was Viktor & Rolf. Thanks for reminding me that whoever took over for McQueen isn't original. How sad for the House of McQueen.
Not a fan of the headpiece, looks like it was donated by Sarah Palin. Bot I LOVE the dress!
Submitted by Hotmami on Mon, 03/07/2011 - 7:35pm
Right. Who knew we went back to marrying girls off for titles and money.
Submitted by Stock Broker on Mon, 03/07/2011 - 2:38pm
That's because she's nothing without William. Seriously from all the stories I've heard about this trifling bitch over the years, no one has ever made her sound interesting. They all say the same thing she's shy and was good at sports. If you took away William would homegirl cease to exist? She's got no fucking personality. I don't know if it's a calculated move on her part (so the public and the Royals can't say anything about her?) or is she really that vanilla?
The only time any kind of something came out of her was when William broke up with her and he said she started "stalking" him. Then she was photographed with bunny ears at a Rabbit vibrator party (to make him jealus). The was the only time she acted her age and not like her usual robotic self.
Submitted by stake_spike on Mon, 03/07/2011 - 7:31pm.
Submitted by Hotmami on Mon, 03/07/2011 - 5:36pm
Actually I think it's the other way around she loves him but he doesn't love her. He knows all he has to do is get married and then he can fuck around with whomever he pleases. I doubt she cares what he does as long as her family gets titles and connections. Her mother has been grooming her for this.
*sigh* I'm not exactly a romantic, but whatever happened to marrying someone because you love them?
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Throw your soul through every open door
Count your blessings to find what you look for
Turn my sorrow in to treasured gold
You'll pay me back in kind and reap just what you've sown
-Adele
Submitted by Hotmami on Mon, 03/07/2011 - 5:36pm
Actually I think it's the other way around she loves him but he doesn't love her. He knows all he has to do is get married and then he can fuck around with whomever he pleases. I doubt she cares what he does as long as her family gets titles and connections. Her mother has been grooming her for this.
I must get this beautiful ensemble for my Snowy.
She will have to be really careful during deer season though.
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Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 02/02/2010 - 2:29pm.
loozer, you are not right.
Soy un perdedor
Kate's not edgy enough to pull off McQueen. I expect her to see in something matronly, boring and no doubt in an awful color. She has the shitiest taste in clothes.
Submitted by GazingBeauty on Mon, 03/07/2011 - 3:37pm.
I have no doubt her goal was to meet ol' Wills, but her "connections" getting her into Oxbridge-I can say without a shred of doubt no fuckin' way. I know a little about that as my hubby's father, grandfather, great-grandfather and even great-great-grandfather all are alumni of Magdelene College, Oxford. (BTW, they were considered upper-middle-class even though they didn't have a lot of money. Minor landed gentry)
Seriously, the daughter of two people who earned their $$$ from selling cheap plastic party shit isn't going to hold any weight.
BTW, she didn't have any "connections" until she hooked up with Wills.
The Middlebrows weren't in those sort of social circles one usually associates with Oxbridge. Hell, they weren't even on the fringes.
Submitted by thegobbler on Mon, 03/07/2011 - 5:50pm.
Submitted by becky n sydney on Mon, 03/07/2011 - 4:37pm.
Oh God I hope she wears the antlers headdress - doddery old Prince Philip will think it's the real thing and start taking pot shots at it.
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lmao! But seriously, I like the drama of the dress...maybe even the headdress too...
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I really like the dress too. If the toilet paper skirt was chopped off it would make a fabulous mini - all that gorgeous beading (I've got a thing for beading).
You can have the headdress - just don't wear it any where near Prince Philip! :)
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"I still wouldn't..." - Satan
Submitted by becky n sydney on Mon, 03/07/2011 - 4:37pm.
Oh God I hope she wears the antlers headdress - doddery old Prince Philip will think it's the real thing and start taking pot shots at it.
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lmao! But seriously, I like the drama of the dress...maybe even the headdress too...
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"my brows could subtract that WTF look on your face so move along"
Can we just fast forward to the inevitable divorce please?
Shame that she is marrying him knowing full well that she doesn't love him. Social-climbing bitch.
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Throw your soul through every open door
Count your blessings to find what you look for
Turn my sorrow in to treasured gold
You'll pay me back in kind and reap just what you've sown
-Adele
DIMMER SWITCHES
WERE MADE
FOR HER TYPE
YES SIREEE
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
Oh God I hope she wears the antlers headdress - doddery old Prince Philip will think it's the real thing and start taking pot shots at it.
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"I still wouldn't..." - Satan
"Submitted by GazingBeauty on Mon, 03/07/2011 - 3:51pm.
Submitted by cprincess on Mon, 03/07/2011 - 3:38pm.
It isn't her only thinking that. It is true, British women have never been seen as beautiful. And the reason people in London are sometimes beautiful is because more than likely they are not even British, but of other European descent.
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And thats the same for anywhere-whenever theres a mix of blood it always creates beauty but having said that,there is a particular "english rose' type that are stunning-you generally see it in the upper/upper middle classes.
As regards other European blood-depends on where its from.
With the Windsors-theres been waaaaay to much interbreeding and they badly need commoners blood-yeah Kate aint some stunning beauty but she seems to have all the right qualities-number one being-she's not an emotional basket case as Diana was.
BTW-re a mix of blood-that MUST explain MY stunning beauty-
anglo/ black irish/swedish AND Im from London!!!!!( haven't lived in England for 25 years though).
"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"
Submitted by cprincess on Mon, 03/07/2011 - 3:38pm.
"Submitted by Mother Superior on Mon, 03/07/2011 - 3:21pm.
Submitted by super martian r... on Mon, 03/07/2011 - 3:05pm.
In Britain Kate is considered beautiful because she is compared to most of the women there.
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TRUE!!!
With one exception: London. :)"
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Eh-have you been in the majority of the US?
at least the vast majority of the English are not the size of 2 people....
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My comment had nothing to do with the USA but I'm not claiming that's a land of beauty, either. BTW, there are more than two nations on the planet so I don't know why you pick out a random one.
Submitted by GazingBeauty on Mon, 03/07/2011 - 3:51pm.
Precisely!
Submitted by cprincess on Mon, 03/07/2011 - 3:38pm.
It isn't her only thinking that. It is true, British women have never been seen as beautiful. And the reason people in London are sometimes beautiful is because more than likely they are not even British, but of other European descent.
Submitted by cake coke and cock on Mon, 03/07/2011 - 2:46pm.
I'm sorry but this princess is fucking heinous. That's right England, I said it. She wasn't even cute when she was little.
Can't wait until she cheats on him and busts her face into a pillar doing 150mph. (YEAH I SAID THAT TOO)
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I actually loled at that last comment . . .
Submitted by cprincess on Mon, 03/07/2011 - 3:38pm.
"Submitted by Mother Superior on Mon, 03/07/2011 - 3:21pm.
Submitted by super martian r... on Mon, 03/07/2011 - 3:05pm.
In Britain Kate is considered beautiful because she is compared to most of the women there.
**********
TRUE!!!
With one exception: London. :)"
''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''
Eh-have you been in the majority of the US?
at least the vast majority of the English are not the size of 2 people....
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I have only been to New York, so I can't judge the rest of the US.
Have been living in various countries in Europe all my life and now six years London and the girls here are prettier than in the rest of the country, believe me ;) That's what I meant.
Submitted by SpiceDong on Mon, 03/07/2011 - 2:07pm.
Doesn't matter how many millions her parents made.
She'll always be a "commoner" queen.
Even if she came from old money (which she doesn't) simply because she was not of noble birth or has any ties to aristocracy beyond snatching William. That's the way things work in that social system. But she will bring fresh genes to a heavily-inbred family and a good democratic enlightement to one of the stuffiest royal families in Europe. This "fairy tale" is full of political subtext. They didn't just let William marry her just because. I wonder if they loosened up the rule about the future queen having to be a virgin prior to marriage. I remember Diana had to endure that type of check up.
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Indeed. Middle class in the UK doesn't mean the same thing as it does in North America though, and that term is being misinterpreted as such in Canada and the US when referring to Kate. Regardless, you're right, there is definitely more to this marriage than just "oh she's a commoner with humble roots" . . . as the royal family are very calculating.
The whole idea of having the wedding this year was definitely premeditated. The UK is in such a financial crisis and people are struggling, so this (to the easily distracted Brits) will provide a happy moment and bring in some money (from tourists, people buying crappy wedding memorabilia, etc.) for the struggling roya . . . er I mean struggling economy.
She may have been a virgin when she met Wills, so maybe he popped her cherry years ago . . . so technically he DID have a virgin. I wouldn't doubt it if the royals came up with some story like that to get around that virgin rule.
I'd like a media circus around that topic, not particularly because I care if she's a virgin or not (she's not), but the royals are trying massively hard not to have bad press right now.
Submitted by super martian r... on Mon, 03/07/2011 - 3:05pm.
As a British girl I instantly thought OI. But then I thought again ... chavs yes. But we're not all that bad! Although when a friend of me told me I don't look like the British girls who visit (live in Amsterdam) I took it as a compliment!
"Submitted by Mother Superior on Mon, 03/07/2011 - 3:21pm.
Submitted by super martian r... on Mon, 03/07/2011 - 3:05pm.
In Britain Kate is considered beautiful because she is compared to most of the women there.
**********
TRUE!!!
With one exception: London. :)"
''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''
Eh-have you been in the majority of the US?
at least the vast majority of the English are not the size of 2 people....
"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"
Submitted by KidL on Mon, 03/07/2011 - 3:08pm.
Her whole plan was to go to St. Andrews for William, and there was no need for her to apply to either Oxford or Cambridge and I am sure she would have gotten in especially her connections.
Submitted by super martian r... on Mon, 03/07/2011 - 3:05pm.
In Britain Kate is considered beautiful because she is compared to most of the women there.
**********
TRUE!!!
With one exception: London. :)
She has always been pretty, even with her old nose.
...My darling can't you see
My heart sounds just for you my dear...
Submitted by GazingBeauty on Mon, 03/07/2011 - 2:32pm.
St. Andrews is pretty decently ranked. It's not up there with Bristol or UCL, but it is pretty good.
Also, I never heard about Waity Katie ever applying to Oxford or Cambridge much less being admitted. For those places, you have to take enterance exams for the college of your choice there. Even students with 3 'As' in their A-levels are turned down.
Also, add me to the list who fails to see the physical appeal of this woman.
In Britain Kate is considered beautiful because she is compared to most of the women there.
I agree w/ LA... It's a gorgeous dress minus the headpiece. A bit OTT for the average person, but perfect for a flamboyant fashionista or someone who is marrying into royalty.
I find it interesting/creepy that so many of McQueen's late designs featured fabric wrapped around the head and neck... and he was found dead, allegedly with a noose around his neck. Weird foreshadowing...
I guess there must be something wrong with me because I think she is gorgeous! In such a simple way. I can't explain it, but I am all sorts of beguiled by her! LOL!
She reminds me of the annoying big tittied butterface from Paranormal Activity.
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Submitted by Centaurious: I do feel sorry for guys who are small. I mean, a girl can be flat-chested, but as long as her cooch is in good working order, she's good to go.
I'm sorry but this princess is fucking heinous. That's right England, I said it. She wasn't even cute when she was little.
Can't wait until she cheats on him and busts her face into a pillar doing 150mph. (YEAH I SAID THAT TOO)
Submitted by Stock Broker on Mon, 03/07/2011 - 2:38pm.
I get bad vibes from her.
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Me too. Can't put my finger on it. And I think she's homely as fuck, but the British press keeps trying to hail her as some beauty. Meh.
I thought it was Lady GaGa for a second there.
Watch that bitch wearing that outfit in about a week.
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"Giving Charlie a blow job would be like trying to eat a giant piece of dry brisket without any teeth. You're just gumming on that shit and waiting for it to go down. That takes real practice.- MK
I get bad vibes from her.
Strikes me as the type that would pull a Bobbit in the middle of the night because the toilet seat was left up.
Something about her....
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"His faggy coffee shop poetry reading glasses will go over well in prison. I expect to see them on cumonglasses.com". ~ Dlister Provolone
The ruffles start in a funny place? I think she is pretty in a real sort of way. She seems very classy which is a rare find today.
Submitted by mike on Mon, 03/07/2011 - 1:59pm.
This girl actually premeditated her relationship with William. She went to St. Andrews just for him, and she had better grades to go to any other University, say Cambridge or Oxford. St. Andrews is ranked very low in the League table.
Of course they picked a British fashion designer.
I would have liked to see Vivian Westwood dressing Kate in punk, Alex McQueen will have to do for now, I suppose.
Not leaving the house when the wedding is on as it is close to my flat....eeek!!!!!!!
The FOK !??
Britain dun ran out of titled virgins, is why Willy had to dip into the commoners basket.
Here's hoping they can breed in a full head of hair.
I think Kate's pretty, although her personality seems beyond dull, maybe lobotomized. I mean, those photographs make her seem like a complete flatliner. Prince Hot Ginge's girlfriend seems like way more of a firecracker and fun. And I don't understand the appeal of Princess Diana, I thought she was downright homely.
Submitted by mike on Mon, 03/07/2011 - 1:59pm.
I'm no fan of the royals, but I think Kate Middleton is pretty. She's far more attractive that Diana was. She also doesn't seem to be a mental basket case.
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really? i think Di was much more attractive. Kate seems so robotic and calculating. To each their own i guess.
Di was pretty emotional yes, but i think you'd be a little mental too if your husband is banging some ugly chick on the side from day one, that for some reason you cannot compete with. Di was too good for that family IMO.
please. as if that smug, muppet-faced, bland, boring middleton creature has 1/100th of the sartorial elegance needed to carry off a mcqueen!
bleargh.
@SpiceDong and KidL
Thanks for the info on the British system. It seems very archaic for the 21st Century, though.
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It's not that serious.
Without the Gaga headpiece, that dress is actually stunning. If Kate Middleton's got the body to pull that off, "I say go for it, girlfriend!" and "GAME ON, future wife of Prince Hot Ginge!"