Lindsay Lohan Releases A Statement About Michael Lohan Releasing A Statement

Remember when Michael Lohan released a statement stating that he will not longer state his opinion on his daughter's life in public statements? Well, that lasted about as long as a full bottle of whiskey in White Oprah's presence. Michael continued to fuck the media mic with his mouth over and over again. And once again, Lindsay Lohan isn't having it and she has released her own statement stating that she wants her father to stop stating statements in statements. This comes after the news that Michael Lohan is in Celebrity Rehab for "anger management" issues. (Wishful advice Dr. Drew gives to MiLo: every time you have an anger, make a fist and let it out on your own face). But anyway, here's the statement LiLo issued to Radar about her father's statement:

"I am sorry that my father has continually chosen to speak publicly about our relationship, my mother, my siblings, and my professional team. I am working through my recovery day-by-day and find his public media bouts unnecessary and damaging."

The entire Loclan (minus Nana, of course) need to immediately check into rehab for addiction to release fucking statements. Statementholics, all of them! How hard is it for LiLo to pull her father's head out of his ass, flick the dingles out of his ear holes and tell him to his face to stop talking about her? I mean, LiLo is close to releasing another statement to Radar that reads: "I am sorry that my mother has continually refused to pull down the toilet seat and aim for the center before making a drunk poo. It is unnecessary and damaging to my bathroom tiles."

We know you all hate each other more than you hate soap, so you don't need to keep telling us.

You know that dumb "communication exercise" where only the person holding the "talking stick" can speak? Well, every single Lohan (minus Nana, again) has one shoved up their assholes. Somebody needs to pull the sticks out (Nana, this goes out to you) already so we can be done with all these stupid statements.