Suck On This, Demi Moore!
When The Real Housewives of Atlanta's Kim Zolciak announced that she's pregnant with an adorable bundle of free publicity, I prepared myself for the gigantic wave of ultrasound scans and blurbs about auto-tuned pregnancy farts in Life & Style that would eventually hit us. So this right here was a long time coming. Kim is six months pregnant and has celebrated the start of her third trimester the same way all proud mothers-to-be do: by dipping her face in a MAC puddle, throwing her "baby brewin' wig" on, getting into panties from A Pea in the Pod's fame whore collection and posing for a tabloid! However, it's nice to see when a magazine gives Photoshop the day off and lets a ho's natural arm fur fly.
You can't tell from this picture, but Kim's baby is striking a pose too. A palm-on-head "fuck this fuckery" pose.
Kim tells Life & Style that she's posing in all her pregnant glory because she's proud of her body, "I'll be 33 when I have this baby, and I'm more in touch with my body now. I'm definitely eating a lot more now than I did with my girls. Kroy loves me pregnant. I don't remember my ex-husband being that into it, but Kroy loves it. He tells me I'm so beautiful."
This is definitely a beautiful moment that Kim should share with the world, but she didn't have to get out of bed to do it. Shit, she didn't even have to pose. She could've spent her time sniffing Nicotine patches and yelling at Sweetie. I mean, if Life & Style published the picture below and said it was Kim Zolciak, nobody would've questioned it.
Actually, Knocked Up Barbie might look just a tad bit more natural.
• 
That's a big belly for six months. But it's more realistic than Kate Hudson's six month non-belly.
It just amazes me how this talentless, lazy, idiot always ends up with everything. She was born under a lucky whore star.
I was 33 when I had my last son in 2009 and now Im 41 this year!
wink wink
Ha! I just pulled a Kim!!! Or is Kim pulling on on us!!
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
Nice french manicure, scrag. Blech
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Have an open mind - but not so open that your brain falls out.
With all the pregnant hos in Hollywood - they put those two losers aside Natalie Portman? This country gets more disturbing every day.
Irish: ewww she does smoke like a damn man
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"Rawb looks a little BUTTERY!!" Jacko 2/16/11
33?! Sure
I've been watching watching you watching me... Loose Ends
Here is Kim smoking at just under 3 months pregnant: http://www.tmz.com/2010/11/27/kim-zolciak-pregnant-smoking-cigarette-rea...
I've noticed she has a really weird way of smoking. I think it's those horrendous nails that get in the way. Or the man hands.
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Dark-sided!
Who wants to fucking see this? Blaaaargggh, retch, cough, retch. And this ugly tranny hooker's implants might be 33, hope she doesn't make that unfortunate child gum on those abominations
Submitted by ditquoi on Wed, 02/23/2011 - 12:51pm.
my barbies were lesbos with a Brooke Shields doll who's hair I cut off in place of a Ken doll. what's up with that... o_O
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Well Brooke Shields is a man now so it all came out right in the end.
I'll be 33 when I have this baby
*sings* "OK, I believe you!" http://www.tsrocks.com/h/harry_belafonte_texts/jump_in_the_line.html
Ugly. All-around ugly. I don't mind getting the drunks & laughing at this show at my homie's house, but NOBODY needs to be accosted by this shitpile while queuing up to buy your KY & BBQ chips.
She will forever be that try hard bitch who got dismissed on tv on the show 'Hot Or Not' (or are you hot? whatever had lorenzos Oil, er, Lamas judging. I know, simian face hudging ..but i digress. That cold rejection is why she keeps plugging away at this fame whore thing.
Sweetie gonna be a baby daddy
Sweetie gonna be a baby daddy
If she's 33, then I'm the bloody Queen of England!
where is photoshop, when you need it?????
Oh come the fuck on. Is she serious? No one wants or needs to see her baby lump on display like she is the first chick ever to have one.
" Avoid crack, unless you can manage it socially." --Carlos
Hate this phoney ass bitch...33 my ass...anyone saw the reunion of the Howives of Hotlanta...she only gave Khandi Burris, who wrote and got her started on her pathetic song, $3,000 to $4,000 when this bitch has made over $100,000 on that piece of shit song....and when Andy asked her if she feels that Khandi is responsible for her songs success she immediately played dumb...she is pathetic and disgusting...anything for fame..she is the worse kind of fame whore, no looks, no brains, DEFINATELY no talent...just a slut for a photo op. Hate this flakey disgusting whore.
I hate how all of these nasty trollops are really pushing it with "tasteful nudity". It just keeps getting tackier because there's no objective interpretation of being tasteful, so all the trashy, vapid attention whores throw it around that it's "artistic". Fucking spare me.
In the case of this Kim Zolciak hag, lingerie (and ugly lingerie, at that) is never appropriate for pregnancy photos. I mean, you're actually better off posing naked because at least it looks natural instead of completely self-absorbed.
"Tasteful art" my ass.
†
"I'm the guardian of this land,
I'm Dracula, Prince of Walacchia.
My name is synonymous with fear and terror
which I sowed and grew and which I fed on."
-Opera IX (Under the Sign of the Red Dragon)
She is fucking trash. The skanks on the 10-year-old rerun of "G-String Divas" that I watched last night looked cleaner and healthier than this TRICK. Ugh.
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*tosses a bag of hot dicks into Jeanneee's trough* BON APPETIT BITCH! - Raul Duke, 1/26/11
wow. after all this time I can't get over how manly she is! her child will find more warmth and comfort being cradled in an iron maiden!
If your skin is "itchy" you SCRATCH it, you don't "itch" it. That's 3 year old speak.
OT: Pffft! No way this bitch is 32! NO F-ing WAY!! I'm 45 and this bitch looks older than me.
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***"Charlie should host a show called "How Clean Is Your Ho?" --MK***
so...it's clear to me that these hos are neither real nor housewives so what exactly is the point of this show???
Submitted by dementa on Wed, 02/23/2011 - 12:26pm.
And how is Barbie going to delivery tat plastic baby? She has no cooch!
c section.
real question is how'd she get knocked up in the first place when she has no cooch.
my barbies were lesbos with a Brooke Shields doll who's hair I cut off in place of a Ken doll. what's up with that... o_O
Submitted by Morbidosity on Wed, 02/23/2011 - 11:27am.
My barbie was always being a big ole slut with GI Joe.
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Take a bow, freak. Jack-n-the-hat 10-5-2009
For what purpose was this created? A goddamn project for whore school? Sophie_003 10-6-2009
A baby daddy named "Kroy" = EPIC FAIL.
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Menage a NO! NO! NO!-MK
She's 33? I look damn good, then!
This picture needs more photoshop.
I cannot get over that name - Kroy! THE WORST!
I thought she was 34 2 or 3 years ago....
When you makea Lardassian look classy by comparison, you need to stop being on covers!
And how is Barbie going to delivery tat plastic baby? She has no cooch!
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
This poor child! At least Kroy seems kinda normal...
no amount of plastic surgery and photo-shopping can make me believe she's 32. I'm 32, bitch!
That quote is even harder to swallow than Gaga pretending to be in her early twenties. Hos, please, you're not fooling anyone.
33? Bitch, please. 53 is more like it.
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Familiarity breeds attempt- Jayne Mansfield
D-Listed:Cheap Thrills for Cheap People- Supreme Soviet
Jesus- I can't wait til this goes to the second page and I don't see it anymore. And that hair shit around the top.. WTf?
Submitted by guest on Wed, 02/23/2011 - 12:02pm.
Submitted by Datura on Wed, 02/23/2011 - 11:38am.
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 02/23/2011 - 11:32am.
Submitted by Morbidosity on Wed, 02/23/2011 - 11:27am.
My Barbie would have NEVER been slutty enough to get knocked up.. mainly because Ken is the ghey.
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But neither Ken or Barbie have functioning genitals!
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That never stopped me from mashing their non-crotches together as a kid. Explains a lot about me now, I guess.
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That made me LOL out loud
that photo.
ick. nast. completely uncalled for.
money truly cannot buy class or taste. :(
Submitted by Datura on Wed, 02/23/2011 - 11:38am.
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 02/23/2011 - 11:32am.
Submitted by Morbidosity on Wed, 02/23/2011 - 11:27am.
My Barbie would have NEVER been slutty enough to get knocked up.. mainly because Ken is the ghey.
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But neither Ken or Barbie have functioning genitals!
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That never stopped me from mashing their non-crotches together as a kid. Explains a lot about me now, I guess.
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my barbie had sexy times with this boy soldier (not gi joe...this guy was medieval) in her camper & after they went horse back riding. i din't know about boys yet tho nor do i remember why i didn't have a ken. *ponders*
"not so fast tom ryan..."
I don't understand why everyone is making a big deal out the Lilo trial. Its not like she did a smash and grab at the store while pointing a gun at the staff. Meh.
M.E. - nope... look at my post in the aretha thread.
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"I will re-name jackhat, PantyClaus." 12/16/10 BRADIFUL BITCH
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 02/23/2011 - 11:50am.
fucking lohan got it extended AGAIN! 3/10
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This is a joke right?
Submitted by Datura on Wed, 02/23/2011 - 11:49am.
That little girl just wants to work! She was speeding so she wouldn't be late, officer!
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So she wouldn't be late to her dealers 2 for 1 blue light special.
fucking lohan got it extended AGAIN! 3/10
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"I will re-name jackhat, PantyClaus." 12/16/10 BRADIFUL BITCH
I miss having a pregnant belly. I loved being preggers.
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Looks don't concern me, Maestro. Only talent interests a woman of taste.
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 02/23/2011 - 11:43am.
OT - Blohan got pulled over for speeding last night. Doing 59 in a 30 MPH zone.
FUCKING DIPSHIT!
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That little girl just wants to work! She was speeding so she wouldn't be late, officer!
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 02/23/2011 - 11:43am.
OT - Blohan got pulled over for speeding last night. Doing 59 in a 30 MPH zone.
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*shakes head slowly* She really is one.dumb.cunt.
Doin a drive-by so pls forgive if this has already been said, but:
1. That bikini top makes her look like she has some fugly, crusty skin affliction happenin in the chestal region.
2. You'll be 33 when you have this baby? Bitch pls. Your wig might be 33.
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"my brows could subtract that WTF look on your face so move along"
OT - Blohan got pulled over for speeding last night. Doing 59 in a 30 MPH zone.
FUCKING DIPSHIT!
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 02/23/2011 - 11:32am.
Submitted by Morbidosity on Wed, 02/23/2011 - 11:27am.
My Barbie would have NEVER been slutty enough to get knocked up.. mainly because Ken is the ghey.
*********************************************
But neither Ken or Barbie have functioning genitals!
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That never stopped me from mashing their non-crotches together as a kid. Explains a lot about me now, I guess.
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb