Open Post: Hosted By An Independent 5-Year-Old Woman
Who ever thinks that all little girls want to grow up to be fairy princesses and live in castles made of ice cream cones need to watch this clip of a 5-year-old girl who means business. This serious business woman in training is letting all prospective husbands know that she's not going to look at an engagement ring (made from Red Vines) until her piggy bank gets a bi-weekly visit from direct deposit!
Homegirl is going to tune out wedding bells until she gets a full-time job as a dinosaur trainer, SpongeBob's assistant or Justin Bieber's au pair. Until then, no DICE.
And really, what are they putting in titty leche these days that makes kids so smart in the brains? When I was 5 years old, I could barely get past C during my ABCs, let alone read cue cards and memorize lines my mom told me to say in front of a camera. Come to think of it, what does come after C?
via TDW
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ew, so annoying. almost as bad as the IS THIS REAL LIFE kid.
so glad my 5 year old nephew is just a normal happy lickle kid,
Even a 5 year old girl knows women don't want to be a man's nurse, or purse!
damn, I hate when parents force their kids to do shit on youtube cause they think it's cute.
Happy Hump Day horz!!! Could this possibly be the happiest day ever? Blohan facing the judge who doesn't want to hear a plea deal and thinks she should go to jail?
*crosses everything*
stupid
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REST IN PEACE
Cody Corson & Nicole Ayres
Well, well, well...looks like mommy's plans for 15 SECONDS of fame worked because I have seen this clip on both MSNBC and CNN this morning. It would be one thing if the kid actually came up with this herself or it was a 'cute' video but I can't stand this "get my kid on youtube" generation of parents. Nothing really wrong with the agenda the kid is pushing ( I mean being told to push) but it still bothers me.
Submitted by Manimal5 on Tue, 02/22/2011 - 8:48pm.
Submitted by angel_i on Tue, 02/22/2011 - 8:22pm.
LOL! SOMEBODY's mommy needs to keep her inside thoughts on the inside;p
Yes but really it's not such a bad thought. It just sounds like mommy got fucked over a little bit.
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Trudat. And at least she's got humor enuff to record it....
♥ Threadkilla!
If there were in the world today any large number of people who desired their own happiness more than they desired the unhappiness of others, we could have paradise in a few years.~Bertrand Russell
Submitted by pricky-micky on Tue, 02/22/2011 - 4:05pm.
Denmark pays moms to stay home how about that?
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Just curious, are you saying Denmark does this because that's not true in my experience. After a woman has a baby, she can stay home for a long time (up to one year, from what I've seen and heard) thanks to wonderful maternity leave/vacation time that needs to be used but to me that's not the same as getting paid to stay home. When I was still married to a dane and a stay at home mom, nobody was paying me any money. Quite the opposite, I got a ton of pressure to go work even though I have two handicapped kids. Work is all anyone thinks about here, lol.
Whoever said feminism was probably created by a man is spot on. It wouldn't surprise me in the least.
Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 02/22/2011 - 3:28pm.
dont flip on the mexican news, dead bodies everywhere. I bet 10 bucks that Mexican Mah Boo has been reporting on new zealand while they show dead ppl on the telly
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What's up, douchebag?
I thought this was a LiLo child-audition tape.
ESEEEEE k, I'm out too. B.U.TTTTT, here's an addendum to ESE's clip (hilarious shit; stay off the cracXBox):
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/2e068c6a74/shannon-vs-black-ops?playlis...
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"Skeptical scrutiny is the means, in both science and religion, by which deep insights can be winnowed from deep nonsense. Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known." - Carl Sagan
Byyye, ESE. :(
†
"I'm the guardian of this land,
I'm Dracula, Prince of Walacchia.
My name is synonymous with fear and terror
which I sowed and grew and which I fed on."
-Opera IX (Under the Sign of the Red Dragon)
*tap dances into thread*... *places a link that nobody will listen to*...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y2HRrjpiM7Y
... that's my contribution to dlisted for the night, folks
*tap dances out of thread*
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Wait the fuck..!! She done said "This is my life!" ROTFLMAO WHAT ALL OF 5 MEASLY YEARS ON THIS EARTH?? This is too hilarious. oh god. lmao
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"Skeptical scrutiny is the means, in both science and religion, by which deep insights can be winnowed from deep nonsense. Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known." - Carl Sagan
Submitted by LaChaylo on Tue, 02/22/2011 - 10:23pm.
Submitted by caprica six on Tue, 02/22/2011 - 10:04pm
*waves at Cappy and sets up fort made of wine bottles for green soldiers to play*
Join me!!!
______________________
LMAO Def joining you in that fun fort!! Was about to head to sleep and thought I'd check into the DL one last time.
*waves to LaChaylo and all* Don't let a 5yr old tell you how the world works! That is all. lol. 'nite!
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"Skeptical scrutiny is the means, in both science and religion, by which deep insights can be winnowed from deep nonsense. Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known." - Carl Sagan
Child, please.
WTF is wrong with parents now-a-days?
My daughter is 19 months and already a flirt, so I'm pretty sure I will have to have the "wait to get married" talk fairly early on. :)
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"JUST PUT IT IN GODDAMMIT!!!"
-Me, according to Jack
Submitted by caprica six on Tue, 02/22/2011 - 10:04pm
*waves at Cappy and sets up fort made of wine bottles for green soldiers to play*
Join me!!!
omg That kid's mannerisms had me rolling. Now, my shit is/was aware, but at 5 or whatever, I wasn't going there w/ "marriage" talk. lmao. I was playing with those fking little green army soldier pieces (what, like, 500 to a bag?), baseball cards, a sit-and-spin and a fucking steel Tonka truck.
This lil bitch is talking work and marriage like she knows the damn pros and cons of Hefner's girls to us bitches. ROTFL. Get the fuck out of here and go eat a damn Gogurt, pee wee!!
Kids mimic like it's nobody's business, so the little snot was coached for sure.
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"Skeptical scrutiny is the means, in both science and religion, by which deep insights can be winnowed from deep nonsense. Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known." - Carl Sagan
Oh look! More parents trying to get their kids discovered by an agent and posting a You Tube video so they can retire and live off of their kids! That is ALL I SEE here.
Submitted by Mabel Hodges on Tue, 02/22/2011 - 6:21pm.
100% coached by Mom. So, I say "meh!"
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MABEL!!!!!!!! How much did your prom end up with? And will you at least let us see the decor?????
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
Submitted by kikichanelconspiracy on Tue, 02/22/2011 - 8:26pm.
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girl, i love the way you're living...:)
they don't follo Memphis anymore?
i know they are being sued for contributing to the murder of a child - apparently the presence of a film crew led some police department to show off, and in the process a small girl was killed (the suspect wasn't even in the house at the time).
i feel like the show has given me a HUGE education in the kind of things that go on and how police actually handle them. i mean, why do hey NEVER test a suspect for gunshot residue - why do they depend so heavily on witness statements even when they have someone they could exonerate, with forensics? it makes you wonder...
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"Come Back As A Flower: Songs of Stevie Wonder" - w/Mimi Fox, Akira Tana and more - name-your-price download at http://tiny.cc/u5fa8
Submitted by angel_i on Tue, 02/22/2011 - 8:22pm.
LOL! SOMEBODY's mommy needs to keep her inside thoughts on the inside;p
Yes but really it's not such a bad thought. It just sounds like mommy got fucked over a little bit.
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Tue, 02/22/2011 - 6:58pm.
I'm late to the party today.
Today's my and Mr. Momus's 30th wedding anniversary.
Congrats to you! With the divorce rate so high today...this is refreshing to see.
so I'm kinda confused about my avi's, should I put Lucky up (the black & white beagle who looks like Snoopy) or stick with my black lab, Flo?
I know this is a mindless question, but I need to stop changing avi's every other day.
"I got to be on a jury and that fierce black lady (can't remember her name) from the First 48 Memphis testified in the murder trial. "
Stoney & McNightmare - Sgt. Carolyn Mason!! I like the big bald cop from the Memphis crew that partners with her a lot, too. He's equally awesome. I also love that the Memphis crew has a no lie - Sgt. Justice. Although she looks like a middle-aged soccer mom of three teenage boys (I have no idea what her real background is). She just so average looking, but is like Frank Pembleton in the box. I also like the really tall black dude from the Memphis Crew. I wished they still followed them. *sighs*
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If love had a dick I would eff with it. But it doesn't (it has a no crotch like Barbie).
but aint any man that does half the housework or more.
had is right
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truth be told, my pain in the ass old man vacuums, does the laundry, dusts and helps with the dishes. I cook because I love it and he sucks at it.
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
LOL! SOMEBODY's mommy needs to keep her inside thoughts on the inside;p
♥ Threadkilla!
If there were in the world today any large number of people who desired their own happiness more than they desired the unhappiness of others, we could have paradise in a few years.~Bertrand Russell
"@QueenieBK - and your friend is as stuck as if she had her leg in a steel trap. Where the hell is she going to go with three kids, no money, no earning power, and a big gap on her resume?"
QueenieBK could be talking about my sister. Shit, maybe she knows her. My sister's hellacious marriage is a big reason why I'm such commitment-phobe (I'm a woman). Our emotionally abusive mother and alcoholic father probably had a lot to do with it as well. Anyway, I make 100k a year and I"ve gotten to the point where I'm so financially stable that I don't want a man to come along and f-up my sweet deal. Which I realize is kind of sad and more than a little f-ed up. But I'd rather be alone for the rest of my life than be stuck like my gorgeous, sweet, kind, smart sister. Even if she got three of the cutest, funniest most hilariously little guys in the world, I wouldn't trade places with her. Even if you threw in my three little nephews and her ocean front house to sweeten the deal.
"is there anyone else here who watches "The First 48"?"
I do, I do! I'm still sad that they don't follow Sgt. Carolyn Mason and the Memphis Crew anymore though. They always had the best cases. Did you ever see the one with the mass murder that took out four adults and two kids? And left another three kids critically injured? That was so depressing. Or the case in KY with the gay couple that got into a domestic spat and one of guys turned the other one for a cold case disappearance (turned into a homicide investigation)? That one was CAH-RAZY.
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If love had a dick I would eff with it. But it doesn't (it has a no crotch like Barbie).
I wholeheartedly agree with the sentiments here. No one gets married expecting to eventually divorce, but the statistics don't lie, and choosing to let your better half support you is taking a huge gamble, imo. Especially if you end up divorced with children.
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"JUST PUT IT IN GODDAMMIT!!!"
-Me, according to Jack
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Tue, 02/22/2011 - 6:58pm.
I'm late to the party today.
Today's my and Mr. Momus's 30th wedding anniversary.
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HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO YOU CRAZY KIDS!
This is F-ing BRILL-BALLS, okay?! I love it. Finally a small leap in opposition to the viral "Cinderella Syndrome" that has ruined the lives of so many women in western society. Give it up for this girl, she knows what she's talking about!
@QueenieBK - and your friend is as stuck as if she had her leg in a steel trap. Where the hell is she going to go with three kids, no money, no earning power, and a big gap on her resume?
It sounds like her dear husband knows how trapped she is, too. Some men love that shit. I had a friend like her, she had only two kids though: high school diploma, no college, only one part-time job ever, didn't know how to use a computer AT ALL. Her husband, her family, and his family were actively and vocally against her doing anything but staying home all day and taking care of the kids, ever. She was 26 years old, loved her kids, hated her husband, fucking miserable all day every day, and had developed a serious eating disorder (anorexia), probably as a way of exerting some control over something in her life. She planned for the wedding but gave no thought to life after the honeymoon, and suffered for it. I lost contact with her a while back but every once in a while I wonder if she's OK. Oh and her kids, both boys, had started speaking to her with the same contempt and using some of the same phrases her husband used when he was angry at her. Imagine what that's going to be like when the boys hit their teens...if they don't take her seriously when they are 6 and 4 years old...
The kids in these situations, whether boys or girls, will see mom as helpless, kinda clueless and powerless and dependent on dad for money and everything else, not a good message for either gender.
hey pricky-micky?
i agree wholeheartedly.
i think feminism was started by a very smart man, is what i think.
so we women have to feel weird if we DONT want to fuck or suck a stranger.
we get to not even CONSIDER marrying a man cause we are pregnant.
he doesnt even have to CONSIDER being a father, if he would rather bow out.
kids dont know their dads.
and every independent woman i know STILL thinks its "so cool" if a man washes the fucking dishes.
i say, hey, he EATS, doesnt he? damn right he does the dishes.
but aint any man that does half the housework or more.
had is right.
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The McCanns Did It
momus - big congratulations!!
did you have a job first?
:-)
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The McCanns Did It
I'm late to the party today.
Today's my and Mr. Momus's 30th wedding anniversary.
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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkein.
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ubmitted by agirl on Tue, 02/22/2011 - 6:34pm.
I am late to the party I know but I want to say that is a very smart little girl and I applaud her parents for raising her right.
So many women stop working when they marry or have children and they regret it later when they can't earn enough to support their kids after something happens to Prince Charming. Employers prefer people without gaps on their resumes and they will hire someone without a gap whenever they can.
Women who say "I stayed home with the kids because it was best thing for my faaaaamily!" are taking a terrible risk. It might seem like the easy way out, someone else paying your bills, but you always pay in some way, always.
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My friend did this - she is 40 and a SAHM to three kids under the age of 6. I firnmly believe her oldest son is the spawn of Satan but I digress.
She is on FB ("too much" her husband says, which is bullshit) and her status updates are always SO dreary: "Husband used CLEAN BATH TOWELS to clean up the overflowing toilet.". And my favorite: "Just finished trimming Box Tops For Education. There must have been 900 of them!". Worst off - if she goes out to meet her friends for dinner and drinks, her husband calls her every half hour because he can't hack "watching" the kids.
Her family is great - shirt off their backs if you need it - and the collective opinion of him is he's an asshole. NONE of her friends like him - he should have been born in a cave and spend his time hunting wooly mammoths.
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
@ Koko - Yes! Maybe that's what it was. She looks like a fembot but then she spoke and she sounded cute, and not in annoying Kim K way. A mix of hard and soft, and she was funny about Alexis Mateo/Alicia Keys flirting with her.
I also decided I wish I had her body. (Good luck with that, I tell myself).
No, you shouldn't drill this shit into your 5 yr old's head. By the time this trick is 28, she will be a shrill, brittle harpy wondering why she has a great career and men hate her. There's a happy medium in life, and this ain't it.
LaChaylo
That girly girl voice was the LAST thing I expected to come out of Amber Rose's mouth !! I was expecting a Grace Jones meets Kathleen Turner type voice but she was very high pitched and soft.
I am late to the party I know but I want to say that is a very smart little girl and I applaud her parents for raising her right.
So many women stop working when they marry or have children and they regret it later when they can't earn enough to support their kids after something happens to Prince Charming. Employers prefer people without gaps on their resumes and they will hire someone without a gap whenever they can.
Women who say "I stayed home with the kids because it was best thing for my faaaaamily!" are taking a terrible risk. It might seem like the easy way out, someone else paying your bills, but you always pay in some way, always.
Got to have a J.O.B.!
ETA: I mean "got to have a J.O.B. before and after the wedding, and before and after giving birth"
Submitted by QueenieBK on Tue, 02/22/2011 - 6:11pm.
I fucking LOVE that I can be on the D while on the stationary bike at the gym. Get my snark and my cardio on at the same time!!!
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SWEET - I'm jelly! Just tv's at my crowded ass gym, and I can't even go at the times I want because it gets supercrowded. But I digress....
Did anyone watch Drag Race last night? I didn't understand Amber Rose's appeal, but after hearing speak last night with her NY accent, I dunno, I think I have a girl crush on her.
*bows head in shame*
@mcnightmare
I didn't realize she was beaten that bad...I get all my crime stories mixed up. At least they have the guys though.
100% coached by Mom. So, I say "meh!"
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Tue, 02/22/2011 - 6:09pm.
i loved the way she just laid down in the limo! the hell? lol. classic. really thought he'd keep her just for the overnite.
i missed the whole segment in seattle...gonna watch it online now that you reminded me.
agreed that the dentist chick is fug & loopy as hell. & emily is way way way out of his league.
"not so fast tom ryan..."
kokos, it looks like they got both of the guys:
OAKLAND -- A man being sought in the Feb. 5 kidnapping and brutal beating of a 25-year-old woman turned himself in to police Thursday morning.
Jerry Williams, 31, aka Gary Williams, of Oakland, surrendered to Officer Holly Joshi about 9:30 a.m. because of intense media attention on him, including a story and photo in the Oakland Tribune and on its website.
Police said relatives persuaded Williams to turn himself in. He declined to talk to investigators and was booked on suspicion of kidnapping and violating probation. He is being held without bail.
Authorities confirmed Williams is on probation for a possession of cocaine conviction and also went to prison in 2003 after being convicted of possession for sale of crack cocaine.
Larry Wilson Jr., 44, of Oakland, who was arrested Feb. 9, has been charged with kidnapping and assault with a deadly weapon in the case. He has a prior conviction for assault with a firearm and has served prison time in Nevada, authorities said.
The pair is accused of abducting a 25-year-old woman about 8:20 p.m. in the 1000 block of Aileen Street in North Oakland. The woman, who was acquainted with the men, was dragged screaming into a car, where she was severely beaten.
The car, a black 1999 Chrysler with a license plate of 6JFG056, has not been recovered, police said.
The abductors kept her hostage in a West Oakland house before she was able to escape the next day after they fell asleep. She
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then went to a hospital and called police.
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"Come Back As A Flower: Songs of Stevie Wonder" - w/Mimi Fox, Akira Tana and more - name-your-price download at http://tiny.cc/u5fa8
I fucking LOVE that I can be on the D while on the stationary bike at the gym. Get my snark and my cardio on at the same time!!!
*tries to lighten mood*
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
Submitted by guest on Tue, 02/22/2011 - 5:24pm.
Yeah, it was a given that the funeral home chick would be going. I had to agree though. She was kind of creepy! I LOL'd when they were walking down the hallway of the mausoleum (sp?) holding hands! Who in the fuck does that?
Like it was a romatic walk on the beach or something.
That girl from Maine is one ugly girl.
I actually really like Emily. I think she seems sweet, and she is far too good for him.
I could see his eyes light up when he went to SHAN-TELL O's house in Seattle. Why in th hell would that chick want him either? Her parents are loaded and Seattle has tons of cute, available men! Same with Emily. She is very cute, and obviously has some family money and is very close to her dead fiances family, so why would she want this loser who owns a couple bars called the Dizzy Rooster and the Chugging Monkey! He is such a douche bag!
He always looks so bored when he talks to some of those gilrs. I miss that crazy chick he sent packing last week. I thought it was funny how she blew him off at teh end. I would have too. Frankly, I would never go on a show like that! Period!
Submitted by mcnightmare on Tue, 02/22/2011 - 5:40pm.
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I always thought Oakland would be perfect for the First 48 (unfortunately). I'm sure you saw the kidnapping update about that woman but she ended up either flagging down a cop the next day or going to the police station. I mean I'm sure she's got some serious emotional trauma but physically it sounded like she was ok.