Sunday, February 13th 2011

What In Ordinary Hell Is Helena Bonham Carter Wearing?!

What I mean by that is Helena Bonham Carter always shows up to the opening of WHATEVER looking like a Cyndi Lauper circa 1984 who dropped the wrong kind of acid and ended up in the bad part of Oz where a gang of junked up flying monkeys fucked her up before throwing her into a tornado of rainbow dust heading back home. I mean, HBC usually resembles a mound of taffeta getting butt fucked by a period dress from the Old Globe's costume shop. But yet, she showed up to the BAFTAs in London tonight wearing an ensemble from JcPenney's funeral matron collection. Totally normal!

Pretty sure my abuelita wore the exact same dress to every single funeral she ever went to. But my abuelita was stylish enough to pair it with beige Easy Spirits, a brown veil and a huge purse lined with paper towels (aka "her buffet visitin' purse"). Maybe Helena Bonham Carter held back, because she's saving up her energy for the Oscars in a couple of weeks. That's when she's really going to throw the fuckery down the carpet and put all those bland bitches to bed. Let's hope that's what's brewing up in her head, because I cannot accept this kind of behavior from her anymore!

So yeah, the BAFTAs were tonight and below is some of the winner's list:

Best Film: The King's Speech

Outstanding British Film: The King's Speech

Best Director: David Fincher, The Social Network

Best Foreign Language Film: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

Best Animated Film: Toy Story 3

Best Leading Actor: Colin Firth, The King's Speech

Best Leading Actress: Natalie Portman, Black Swan

Best Supporting Actor: The King's Speech, Geoffrey Rush

Best Supporting Actress: Helena Bonham Carter, The King's Speech

The full list with all the nominees is here. And here's a few pictures from that shit. In order: HBC with Tim Burton, Amy Adams, Sarah Harding, Thandie Newton, Emma Watson, a graceful swan woman, Nicholas Hoult, James McAvoy, Mark Ruffalo with his wife Sunrise, Rupert Grint, Noomi Rapace, J.K. Rowling, Colin Firth with his wife Livia, Tilda Swinton, Minnie Driver, Jane Goldman, Annette Bening, Eva Green, Tom Ford, Julianne Moore, Neve Campbell (making all of us feel OLD), MiserAlba (doing her best impersonation of a knocked up Natalie Portman since knocked up Natalie Portman wasn't there) and Gerard Slutler.

Posted by: Michael K


I really wish people would quit raggin' on Helena Bonham Carter and her always crap red carpet outfits. Helena dresses the way she wants to because she doesn't give a rat's ass in hell what anyone thinks. Applause please. She is the polar opposite of talentless assholes like Sir GaGa who can only get attention for herself via her wardrobe.

presets's picture

I would lick Tom Ford's receding hair. Mmmmmmmm

Also, I'm glad I wasn't the only one who thought Anna Nicole faked her death for a second there.

And for once, I thought Julianne Moore pulled her stuff together and finally ditched those halfnhalf dresses. But then she turned around...at least she's mostly great from the front. Improvement.

Oh! One more thing. Eva Green. She's a pretty and interesting woman, but she needs to learn how to work with her forehead. No comment about the dress.

I lied. I've got another thing to say. I'm kinda loving JK's facial expression. It says "I can buy you and sell you."

The New Improved Wyle E's picture

I quite like the way 'graceful swan woman' (blue sash hideousness) did the front of her hair but didn't have time to the do the back.

And what in the Anna-Nicole hell is this? http://www.imdb.com/features/oscars/2011/gallery/11_bafta_arrivals-rm395...

On the other hand we have the 101 degrees of perfectinks crowd:

Thandie Newton (as usual) http://www.imdb.com/features/oscars/2011/gallery/11_bafta_arrivals-rm400...

The little kid out of True Grit http://www.imdb.com/features/oscars/2011/gallery/11_bafta_arrivals-rm405...

Tilda Swinton (as usual) http://www.imdb.com/features/oscars/2011/gallery/11_bafta_arrivals-rm425...

Julianne Moore's hair and makeup http://www.imdb.com/features/oscars/2011/gallery/11_bafta_arrivals-rm413...

And Tom Moore and the About a Boy kid.

I'd hit all of them...okay, not the True Grit kid because that would be an illegal type of gross.
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Wyle E

"understand that a slow red panda who nibbles pickles and does somersaults in the middle of a dancefloor is entertaining to a 7-year-old... " MK.

Mabel Hodges's picture

The Swinton Rules!!

joe shmoe's picture

HAHA@ "graceful swan woman"...Good God, it's not just the style (and I use that word loosely) of the dress that traps your eye and won't let it go, it's the *horrible* cut, the cheap, nasty fabric, the colour, the way it hangs and clings in all the wrong places.

This woman need to hook up with Phoebe Price's mum. Now there's a lady who knows how to put a McCalls pattern together.

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Water Ran
For I have known them all already, known them all; Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons, I have measured out my life with coffee spoons

The New Improved Wyle E's picture

Oh and Eva Green looked fucking beat.
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Wyle E

"understand that a slow red panda who nibbles pickles and does somersaults in the middle of a dancefloor is entertaining to a 7-year-old... " MK.

The New Improved Wyle E's picture

HBC is wearing Westwood (I watched the coverage last night).

Annette Bening was looking all kinds of hot last night - her still photos don't do her justice.

wtf was that hideous blue dress with the hideous hair?

And Colin Firth's wife looked really bloody annoying on the coverage last night. She kept pushing herself into his photos and carrying on like the paps were only interested in her. Attention whore!
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Wyle E

"understand that a slow red panda who nibbles pickles and does somersaults in the middle of a dancefloor is entertaining to a 7-year-old... " MK.

Khensu Hetep's picture

I love Helena Bonham Carter and she looks beautiful here. She's got a great head of hair when it's not looking like her counterpart's and should wear it down more often.


"I'm the guardian of this land,
I'm Dracula, Prince of Walacchia.
My name is synonymous with fear and terror
which I sowed and grew and which I fed on."
-Opera IX (Under the Sign of the Red Dragon)

Mrs Patrick Campbell's picture

Has Mary Ford had 'work done'? We see a small scar by her ear under the beard (= facelift). Also, her face is more angular than before (= liposuctia).

Who is her plastic surgeon?

Swedish Beauty's picture

Helena looks great. Jane Goldman, lovely as always.

MickeyHolland's picture

Submitted by RufusR on Sun, 02/13/2011 - 8:32pm.

"(...) and Nicholas Hoult is gorgeous. Who thought the dumpy awkward kid from "About A Boy" would turn into such a beautiful man?"

Not me, but he definitely has. You're a good spotter, because I would never have recognized him.

Moore and Newton are gorgeous, but as petty as this may sound, I can't bring myself to say the same about Alba. Her emptiness always shines through somehow.

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Who are you calling silly cow?

I will always love HBC, whether she's dressed for a nineteenth century brothel funeral or if she looks like she's going to go off her rocker and start throwing cats at you.

And Tilda Swinton's who I want to be when I grow up. Husband at home, boytoy on the road. Go on with your bad self.

CoconutCoochie's picture

Submitted by Husbands_and_Wives on Sun, 02/13/2011 - 9:22pm.
She looks good. Helena will always be the lovely and gorgeous Lucy Honeychurch to me.

Ditto.

Hysteria's picture

Maybe Helena finally got tired of looking like a walking monkey corpse.
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HBC has been wearing a lot of Vivienne Westwood to events lately, but this doesn't look particularly "westwood-y" to me.

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"Come Back As A Flower: Songs of Stevie Wonder" - w/Mimi Fox, Akira Tana and more - name-your-price download at http://tiny.cc/u5fa8

Husbands_and_Wives's picture

She looks good. Helena will always be the lovely and gorgeous Lucy Honeychurch to me.

...My darling can't you see
My heart sounds just for you my dear...

Anonymouse73's picture

Julianne Moore is the only woman I would consider doing. God, she's perfection!

RufusR's picture

Miserabla is a terrible actress; why is she there??? Once her looks start to fade she's not going to get invited anywhere. Julianne Moore is timeless and beautiful and Nicholas Hoult is gorgeous. Who thought the dumpy awkward kid from "About A Boy" would turn into such a beautiful man?

And Tilda Swinton is descended from Scottish royalty (no shit) and has a young live in lover and is married to an older man (artist) and has twins or something. Interesting person- and I love the SANS FARDS give a fuck attitude. Kind of severe and scary and cool all at once. She was PERFECT for the Archangel Gabriel role in the always excellent movie 'Constantin' :)) She kills it

Lemonaide's picture

Helena's handlers have probably begged her to tone it down during this awards season. I'm sure once everything is over she will be back to wearing everything in her closet plus the kitchen sink. I love her as an actress, but fashionista she is not.

Thandie Newton is so naturally flawless and still so- no fucked up surgery (not needed and she never will) and Neve Campbell i gotta hand it to her she is still normal looking too. No implants cutlets or inner tubes to be seen. Just watched the Company not such a great movie (and old) but i wanted to see my friends who were extras lol.

Albatross's picture

I don't know who Nicholas Hoult is, but he fine!

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"When people ask me what I am, I just tell them I'm 100% cunt slut." - MK, 2/8/11

GrayGooseLover's picture

Gaycreat is trying to make it seem like he ain't gay. Meanwhile everyone else is making extremely subtle gay jokes right at him. Bahahahaha

"The legendary Antoine Dodson took to the stage looking like if Mushu from Mulan joined a TLC cover group as Chilli"-MK

WTFOMGLOL's picture

What ? No Piece de la Whoreta pics ??

Hekki's picture

Submitted by becky n sydney: "HAHAHA Gaycrest said Gags ripped off Mork and Mindy!"

He DID? I know everyone hates that little fucker, but come on! That's hilarious!

UltraBaroque's picture

*using powerful Mercurian hypno-power*

Tom Ford, Colin Firth and Nicky Hoult are all there. A Single Man II Uncut

Big is over rated trust me!!!" Jonathan Knight

Hekki's picture

HBC stole Angelina Jolie's look. I'm absolutely convinced. She's got a sense of humor, that one.

Submitted by clairey claire on Sun, 02/13/2011 - 6:10pm.

It's Amy Adams. And I think she looks amazing. She has the perfect sized, healthy looking figure IMO. Her arms aren't skeletons and she has that "I eat" glow, which I find refreshing.

cocoebert's picture

I hate to admit it, but Miseralba does look gorgeous.

Puto's picture

1. The Brits have plenty of skanks of their own. The blonde in the satin blue dress comes to mind.

2. Glad to see an awards show with out Sofia Vergara talking all "cha cha" for laughs.

3. Tom Ford has the world. Open relationship, men at every port, beautiful arm candy women, and shit money.

Puto's picture

1. The Brits have plenty of skanks of their own. The blonde in the satin blue dress comes to mind.

2. Glad to see an awards show with out Sofia Vergara talking all "cha cha" for laughs.

3. Tom Ford has the world. Open relationship, men at every port, beautiful arm candy women, and shit money.

Um, why was Jessica Alba there?

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"JUST PUT IT IN GODDAMMIT!!!"

-Me, according to Jack

Where are you guys watching the E show? Online? As far as I can tell, I can't tell who's who and there's no audio/commentator yet.

joe shmoe's picture

I *love* HBC. She would be a hoot to have a drink with. Or 10.

************
Water Ran
For I have known them all already, known them all; Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons, I have measured out my life with coffee spoons

Emeriesan's picture

Helena must ve been watching Brenda Dickson's welcome to my home video for inspiration. Ordinary-ish, but not the hair though, it's like a Little Women/Dynasty mish mash.

Julianne Moore is lookin' good.

Emeriesan's picture

HAHA someone is sporting one of Riri's wigs

Am's picture

1) The lady in red: her shoes are too big.
2) Why are Neve's tittays so SAD???
3) Why is MiserAlba there?

Kerfuffles's picture

FUCK YEAH The King's Speech should wipe the floor with The Social Network at the Oscars as well.

*using powerful Mercurian hypno-power*

Tom Ford...you will come to me...Tom Ford...you will dress me in expensive (yet tasteful) clothes...Tom Ford....you will be my love object...Tome Ford...etc.

*puts on clean underpants while waiting*

"each night I go to bed, I pray like Aretha Franklin"..Scritti Politti's "Wood Beez"

P.T.Bull's picture

Helena looks like a coal maah-ners daughter. From butcher holler.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6rdQrgyEuOY

So, who's bald dude in noyer and orange necktie?

Who the hell is the redhead in the peach dress (4th thumbnail). Thought it was Nicole Kidman at first, then Amy Adams, now I have no clue.

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"It's always funny until somebody gets hurt-then it's fucking hilarious": The late great Bill Hicks

QueenieBK's picture

I'd consider slaughtering one of my cats to look like Thandie Newton.

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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley

nclgemini's picture

Submitted by Evil_Cupcake Ahahahahahahahaha! Cat's tampon! Shame on your cat for using such poor quality!
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I know! poor kitty we will have to upgrade to the tilda swinton tampons! you could get toxic shock syndrome just from LOOKING at that fuckery on Icky minage!

Thandie Newton = Perfection

christine the hoff's picture

Helena looks fantastic and I still want to fuck Gerard til his ears bleed.
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and, not a single fuck was given this day.

If Lori Ann Gibson says 'incubating" and "dilating" one more time, I am gonna kill one of my dogs!

MissJaneTexas's picture

Submitted by nclgemini on Sun, 02/13/2011 - 5:55pm.

Yes :)

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Take a bow, freak. Jack-n-the-hat 10-5-2009

For what purpose was this created? A goddamn project for whore school? Sophie_003 10-6-2009

UltraBaroque's picture

Detective LaToya and Maury, I have this one solved.
Max Ellington Nixon-Marinoni-Grint
__________

"Big is over rated trust me!!!" Jonathan Knight

HAHAHA Gaycrest said Gags ripped off Mork and Mindy! She really is the biggest asshole on the face of the planet!

Submitted by becky n sydney on Sun, 02/13/2011 - 5:50pm.
Submitted by nclgemini on Sun, 02/13/2011 - 5:42pm.
omg. watching the grammy arrivals and nikki minage looks like my cats tampon!

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Ahahahahahahahaha! Cat's tampon! Shame on your cat for using such poor quality!

OMG! Gaga was just sliding around inside the egg!
That Diddy whore Lori Ann Gobson is the stupid bitch behind this fuckery!