We're Going To Need A Bigger "Bitch, Please" For This One
Jennifer Aniston & Jakey Gyllenhaal?! How's that for a heaping dose of LOL in your morning cup of whatever. It's true that Jennifer and Jakey's nipples became two for one of her better movies, The Good Girl, but that was just make believe play time stuff! But now Life & Style is trying to say that maybe just maybe, Jakey and Jennifer have brought their frosted mall photo love into real life. Their proof? Jennifer had herself a birthday dinner at The Spotted Pig last night, and Jake slipped out the back door so he wouldn't be photographed with her. And there's more. El fuckery from Life & Style:
Life & Style’s Scene Queens can exclusively reveal that Jennifer Aniston celebrated her 42nd birthday on Feb. 11 by having an intimate dinner with Jake Gyllenhaal in NYC.The startlet took a break from her whirlwind promotional tour for her new film Just Go With It and made her way to The Spotted Pig restaurant where she dined in a private room with a group of friends and her former hunky co-star. “Jake and Jen looked really happy and really seemed to be enjoying themselves,” an eyewitness tells the Scene Queens. “They looked like they were strategizing a way to exit the restaurant probably because they didn’t want to be photographed together.” Shortly after their discussion Jen exited the restaurant with her friends in tow. Though Jake was not in the group, it is possible he could have snuck out the back door while no one was looking.
This romantic birthday dinner only adds fuel to the fire that Jen and Jake’s longtime friendship could be something more. The duo was spotted just weeks ago at a pre Golden Globes party in L.A where they were flirty.
First of all, Jake always prefers the back door so that doesn't mean shit. Second of all, yes, scientists have already discovered that the cicadas humming in the hills above Malibu aren't cicadas humming in the hills above Malibu. It's Jennifer Aniston chanting for a husband and children. But even she would not sign up to be Jakey's latest Taylor Swift. Bitch ain't that desperate. Besides, have you ever seen a beard with $800 highlights and a $200 blow out?
Jake, please tell us how you feel about this shit:
Here's Jennifer Aniston covering her face while leaving The Spotted Pig last night after finding out that Justin Bieber is probably going to wipe his diaper all over her movie this weekend. And according to the reviews, that might be an upgrade.
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Not the Bieber diaper! I guess she will just have to watch Mr. and Mrs. Smith one more time to figure out where she went wrong....
"But what of all those sweet words you spoke in private?"
"Oh that's just what we call pillow talk, baby..."
-Ash
"I would do things that suck... for your love..."
-Butthead
"If you talk to God, you are praying. If God talks to you, you have schizo
Not the Bieber diaper! I guess she will just have to watch Mr. and Mrs. Smith one more time to figure out where she went wrong....
"But what of all those sweet words you spoke in private?"
"Oh that's just what we call pillow talk, baby..."
-Ash
"I would do things that suck... for your love..."
-Butthead
"If you talk to God, you are praying. If God talks to you, you have schizo
poor, desperately lonely, talentless, lumberjack-jawed, self-aborbed, middle-aged, skeezy Aniston never breaks bread with anyone her publicist hasn't given the green light.
she goes to a very public place and comes out pretenting to hide her mannish face?!? shows what a bad actress she is.
she's all kinds of nasty.
So NOT true... try harder Life and Style!
Are we sure that isn't kd lang in the photo with her?
Oh, MK, you dream weaver, you.
*hugs self*
This would make me the happiest pink bunny dancer of all the Pink Bunny Dancers.
Oh, to watch rabid heads explode. To witness the vitriol, the agony and the defeat.
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"Just wait till one of their children disappear. They won't be calling me fake then!" The classy "Medium" Allison DuBois
STD fucks STD.
Lesbianism Most Foul!
Oh, please. They're this generation's version of La Liz and Monty Clift.
BFFs FOREVER!
Kill me now.
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"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." ~Marjorie Ingall
I haven't seen all of her interviews, but out of every one I've seen so far, she doesn't seem desperate to me. I think people read WAY too far into her comments. So fucking what she made that "uncool" comment a few years ago when she was asked about it?
She was on Conan O'Brien a few weeks and didn't say two words that might've even been interpreted as directed at ArmPitt and the succubus. I don't know what people are talking about.
As for her acting? A dime a dozen? Sure. I don't even like romantic comedies, but a lot of people do, and they probably know that they don't deserve an Oscar but it entertains them. We, including myself, can't all be film aficianados. I watch two-star movies all the time JUST to be entertained, so I'd be a hypocrite to shout down people who take romantic comedies at the same value.
Geez, and as for people dogging on her appearance? I personally think she's beautiful, but she looks like a normal woman. Some of you go on about her like she has an arm growing out of her head or she's the bell-witch.
†
"The mournful sound of a bell, people in prayer.
My body abandoned in the solitude of the wood, imprisoned by the rags, compelled to suffer from the frosty contact with the ground." -Opera IX (Born in the Grave)
When this woman kicks the bucket, the first thing the media will talk about is this crazy obsession people have with this whole bradgie thing. All the bashing she got, etc. It's kind of sad that her life gets chalked up to that. Well, at least the lady has money to pay for all the mental care she's probably needed to deal with this crap. Plus, with her being all over the media I agree with the posters who said it keeps her relevant. She could be laughing all the way to the bank for all I know.
Submitted by snideychick on Sat, 02/12/2011 - 4:06pm.
"Are you sure this was a b-day party and not a funeral? Why dress in head to toe black?"
Maybe she is just as lazy as I am when it comes to clothes. You just grab something black, add some silver accessories, put on some eye catching makeup and you're good to go. That, plus black is slimming.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
Well, he is desperate to prove he is not gay and she is just plain desperate.
Submitted by huntsy on Sat, 02/12/2011 - 10:14pm.
who is kirby? the pink marshmallow that swallows everything?
that could be anyone
pete wentz?
who is kirby? the pink marshmallow that swallows everything?
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lol no the vacuum, sucks up good lol same idea though.
The words "Hugh Jackman and Paul Rudd" drew me like a magnet...oh to be the tofu spread (I'm vegetarian) in a Huge/Paul sammie...
*quivering, like a lone leaf on an apple tree in a stiff breeze in late fall*.
Or, like Lilo outside a fancy joory store.
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Water Ran
For I have known them all already, known them all; Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons, I have measured out my life with coffee spoons
Hugh Jackman, Paul Rudd, Jakey and Adam were all there? Yeah I guess it's easier to make a fake rumor happen when you leave off most of the guest list.
Well, Gossip Cop finally verified the details. These magazines are so inventive, but then most people who buy them can only look at the pictures!
30 people in attendance. So I guess most of the famous ones didn't leave out the front with Jennifer.
http://www.gossipcop.com/jennifer-aniston-birthday-jake-gyllenhaal-adam-...
I guess they can't just be friends huh? They met on the set of a movie years ago it is possible Hollywood idiots.
That pic looks like it belongs on Awkward Family Photos.
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"I'm like a tree, I feed the branches of the people." - Kanye West
My cat loves that animated gif! I haven't seen him so entranced since the posting of "Birdies!" on Youtube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4EtNg6ODdls
Submitted by huntsy on Sat, 02/12/2011 - 6:31pm.
I assume you are a sexy young male? If so, no worries. Otherwise, keep those cobwebs in your vagina built on dreams and wishes in your pants that one day he will notice you.
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lol I am a bitch in heat and Kirby got nothing on me. He can close his eyes and pretend. Actually I don't get the gay from him.
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who is kirby? the pink marshmallow that swallows everything? <3 that video game old school.
That animated GIF is so adorable. I could watch that all day long. *sigh*
Submitted by super martian r... on Sat, 02/12/2011 - 3:05pm.
No way are they together. I can't imagine for half a second Jennifer Aniston being into younger guys... admittedly, I haven't checked the ages on her exes but they all seem to be around her own age. She doesn't give off that cougar vibe and I doubt she'd put up with such an immature (yet lovably cute) Jake G.
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You forgot John Mayer ... he's younger than her.. atleast 5 years.
I assume you are a sexy young male? If so, no worries. Otherwise, keep those cobwebs in your vagina built on dreams and wishes in your pants that one day he will notice you.
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lol I am a bitch in heat and Kirby got nothing on me. He can close his eyes and pretend. Actually I don't get the gay from him.
what "favor date"? they are friends who had dinner.
big fucking deal.
Toothy, you need to be smart about your next beard. The last 2 were a joke.
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"In case people are wondering, I was not raised to lie, cheat, or steal."
-Lindsay Lohan
OH COME FUCKING ON
EVEN WINDOW LICKERS
KNOW THIS IS BULLSHIT
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
Submitted by huntsy on Sat, 02/12/2011 - 6:16pm.
WTF it better not be true. That horse face better step off my man.
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I assume you are a sexy young male? If so, no worries. Otherwise, keep those cobwebs in your vagina built on dreams and wishes in your pants that one day he will notice you.
WTF it better not be true. That horse face better step off my man.
Though Jake was not in the group, it is possible he could have snuck out the back door while no one was looking.
LOL. Well, shit, if we're talking about possibilities, it's possible that Aniston and Adam Sandler will get Oscars for Just Go With It, but that's about as likely as this Life & Style bullshit.
Their sex scene in the Good Girl was so uncomfortable and not sexy. I was embarrassed even though I was watching it all alone.
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POOP (nourish the inner asshole)- MK
She's bearded before; remember Vince Vaughn? She's very gay-friendly and I'm sure doesn't mind helping out some of her queer buddies.
"Snideychick sez:
Are you sure this was a b-day party and not a funeral? Why dress in head to toe black? Why not a bright festive color? It's your freakin' birthday at least look like you're happy!"
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Hon, she's in New York, not Branson, Missouri. In NYC, black is a festive color!
Oh, Puh-leeze, they've been friends for-fucking-ever. The media loves to invent dates for the two of them, so it only seems reasonable that they'd eventually hook them up with each other. *major eye roll*
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"When people ask me what I am, I just tell them I'm 100% cunt slut." - MK, 2/8/11
This is what I call a "favor date"--done for a reason other than a need to connect. She's known him since "The Good Girl" film a decade ago and so she may be sympathetic to the public ridicule directed his way by his previous failed beardings. So she steps up to the plate and decides to be "seen" with him in a few photo ops which gives him good press amongst the wronged-women/Anistonistas and he gets to focus again on rebuilding his career (and hopefully getting some pole 'n' hole in the meantime). Plus she doesn't have to play the desperate dumpee part she's been milking for about seven years now. A more perfect union was never created.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Sat, 02/12/2011 - 3:01pm.
Submitted by tojo on Sat, 02/12/2011 - 2:29pm.
“They looked like they were strategizing a way to exit the restaurant probably because they didn’t want to be photographed together.”
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How does that "look" exactly?
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haha - good point! Perhaps their assistants crowded around tables covered in maps of the surrounding neighbourhood, diagrams of the resto with all the exits hilighted, resto staff hovering nearby with earpieces and tasors ready to hit the paps with.
So silly.
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lol!!!!
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...the end
Life & Style Mag. is the same mag where she supposedly let Perez interview her. Her PR did this latest rumor- it's all about "plant and deny".
Aren't her manipulative PR tactics more than obvious? I am surprised that no one has pointed this out on this thread yet.
Snideychick sez:
Are you sure this was a b-day party and not a funeral? Why dress in head to toe black? Why not a bright festive color? It's your freakin' birthday at least look like you're happy!
I bet Jen was the one strategizing a way to exit the restaurant to avoid being photographed with Jakey - she knows the hell she will have to pay if her bean bag animal friends see a pic of her with someone else.
The age difference between jake and jen are less than that between brad and angie..
LOVED her on Friends. Didn't mind her when she was with Pitt. But now I just can't stand her. She comes across as insincere in interviews. She tries to keep up this nice girl act but I think she might be a closet biatch!
Remember seeing her call the Friends audience/fans dumb. I just thought what a bitch, your fans are your bread and butter fuggo. Have hated the fugly cow ever since.
Gylliston? or Jakeifer?
@TwatMuffin: Pajiba is awesome. Right on the money, and hilarious to boot.
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"I'm like a tree, I feed the branches of the people." - Kanye West
Jennifer is old enough to be Taylor Swift's mom and yet the two of them have swapped 2 guys. (John Mayer and Jake) That is weird. They both need to find some non-famous men to date.
Jennifer Anustain, the biggest female MEH. 42 year old starlet...LOL!
Brangelina and Huvane pumping it is why this bitch remains relevant.
And does she EVER spend holidays or birthdays or whatever with her mother or father for fuck sake? Not that I care...seems she couldn't, either.
I had to scroll down and bypass all that shit once my eyes hit the word "STARLET".
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That shit is nice. -MK
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Sat, 02/12/2011 - 1:31pm.
So basically you're arguing that housewives are ugly, needy and talentless. What a lovely assumption.
News flash: she may not be desperate for a baby (until her career starts tanking), but she IS ugly, talentless and needy/clingy (what other kind of person would go back to the guy who dissed them?). Honestly, I detest her for her mediocrity, her dullness, and her blandness. If celebrities can't amuse me onscreen (I hate romcoms), then they can at least entertain me OFFSCREEN.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Sat, 02/12/2011 - 3:07pm.
There was that brief foray (twice) into doucheville, with John Mayer. Jakey is a major improvement on him. Not that I believe for a second that they are a couple.
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Oh yeah.. heh. I forgot about John Mayer! I guess he's always good for a rebound lay in Hollywood but I think that's where it'd end...
Also, about her getting tired of being connected with Brangelina because of what happened almost 6 years ago, I disagree. She might get a little annoyed occasionally but she knows Brangelina IS the reason why she is still so relevant even today and keeps getting movie deals. Because she was the dissed wife, a lot of people (particularly women) empathize with the situation. And those same women like seeing her out doing her thing and proving that life does go on after divorce because Aniston does seem to be living a happy life now as she wants. She was obviously heartbroken and upset for the first year or so after but who wouldn't be? Now she just makes bank off this Brangelina crap and obviously over her ex.
ETA: it also doesn't seem to hurt she still has a kick-ass body and not some ex who went and ballooned up 200 lbs after a break up. I think she is just inspirational to a lot of people in these ways.
jake IS toothy tile. used to promote movies. queerer than a 3 dollar bill. that is all. ( not that there is anything wrong with being gay)GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY I have no evidence of this as i do Travolta. but it just seems to me hes trying too hard. ain't buying it.
Submitted by super martian r... on Sat, 02/12/2011 - 3:05pm.
No way are they together. I can't imagine for half a second Jennifer Aniston being into younger guys... admittedly, I haven't checked the ages on her exes but they all seem to be around her own age. She doesn't give off that cougar vibe and I doubt she'd put up with such an immature (yet lovably cute) Jake G
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There was that brief foray (twice) into doucheville, with John Mayer. Jakey is a major improvement on him. Not that I believe for a second that they are a couple.
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Water Ran
For I have known them all already, known them all; Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons, I have measured out my life with coffee spoons