Jeff Brazier Can Lick His Own Penis
Up until a few faps, I mean, a few minutes ago, I knew nothing about this Jeff Brazier dude, but nothing will make me Google Image a ho with one hand while plastic wrapping my chair with the other like reading the words: "I can lick my own dick!" The quickest way to a slut's hole is to utter those words.
Torso of the week award winner Jeff Brazier is a British reality whore who used to be a footballer and dated the late Jade Goody for a couple of years. And apparently, Jeff is so hung that his dick can knock the nuggets off your tonsils while he fucks you. So it's really no surprise that Jeff can make out with his peen's mouth. While doing an interview for Dancing on Ice, Jeff said that his self-fellatio act has quickly become his go-to party trick.
"I do! I've not performed it for some time, but it originated from when I was an apprentice at Leyton Orient. The older pros had noticed that I had a talent, and one night, when I was on reserves, one of them said to me, 'I bet you could probably suck your own thingy, couldn't you?' And then another one went, 'Go on, try it!'I did, yeah. I was young and pretty impressionable. I managed to touch myself with my tongue. I didn't spend too long down there, I have to say. It was just making the contact that was the impressive part. But I think it was just to do with being young and flexible. I've not tried recently. I did it for everyone when I was on Shipwrecked. We were all a bit down 'cos it had been raining, and the cameras were off, so I was like, 'Hey everyone, have a look at this!'... It's legendary! I feel lucky that I've been given a good few inches above average."
This declaration from Jeff falls directly under the PICTURES OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN category. I really don't know if I believe Jeff at all. If I could do that, the only sounds you'd get from me after asking a question would be: kljklajdfkladddseesjfkjdjd..... slurp.... jljkladmmsfjkljfeee... gargle... gulp... zzjljlkjkljkl. Actually, that'd be one of the most articulate answers I've ever given, so maybe I should start stretching, praying, pumping and training.
And because you want to see, here's a picture of Jeff's Big Ben bulge:
I don't know whether I want to strap that thing around a steering wheel for security or spoon with it on a sofa.
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Submitted by nightowl on Tue, 02/08/2011 - 3:24am.
Definitely not worth it. I've been looking at him more closely, and his face looks aging and young at the same time. It's so strange.
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"Look inside the executioner's hood,
I will show you his grimace!"
-Darzamat (Blackward)
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FIX TOPINWEB.COM, NOW!
Submitted by Khensu Hetep on Tue, 02/08/2011 - 3:06am.
ITA. On the handsome men and the size comment.
Plus if you click on a link someone provided in this thread, you'll see that his peen is really not as big as it looks in the above pic.
Submitted by Centaurious on Mon, 02/07/2011 - 8:26pm.
It's so much more work if you're a woman and trying to please yourself. That's why we have all these tools to help, because doing it manually is a pain.
†
"Look inside the executioner's hood,
I will show you his grimace!"
-Darzamat (Blackward)
†
FIX TOPINWEB.COM, NOW!
Nope.
He's not handsome in the face, either, which is a deal breaker. A man with an attractive face gets much farther than a man with a below average visage and huge Johnson. I'm not sexually active, but I think that it really depends on what a fellow can do with his penis rather than the size of it.
†
"Look inside the executioner's hood,
I will show you his grimace!"
-Darzamat (Blackward)
†
FIX TOPINWEB.COM, NOW!
omfg at Jeff big ben buldge!! had six orgasm; shoot me now! let me die fucking smiling. *waves to all;splashes thread w/ the good shit; sees the aura of the 10th Mayan planet while basking in orgasm glow* SAYONARA BITCHES!!! WOOT!
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"Skeptical scrutiny is the means, in both science and religion, by which deep insights can be winnowed from deep nonsense. Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known." - Carl Sagan
Show me a girl who can go down on herself.
Then I'll be impressed.
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"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." ~Marjorie Ingall
Sounds like a lot of effort when you can get someone else to do that for you.
He looks like Dudly Do Right.
No *jump* at the end of the post? MK?
Wheres the beef...?
I really can't comment on this, until Mrs Pat weighs in.
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His "thingy"? wtf. The prick is too much of a gentleman to say cock?
"No matter how cynical you become, it's impossible to keep up." - Lily Tomlin
He fucked Jade Goody and had two kids with her (2 boys). Shit taste and he sounds like an idiot to boot. No thanks.
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop?
The world may never know...
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"I'd hate to have to go around thinking of health & shit like that." Keith Richards, 1997
after seeing this pics i wonder if its really that big??? what do you think?
http://barbwirexsnap.blogspot.com/2010/04/jeff-brazier.html?zx=b9cda7e48...
maybe its true he can touch just the tip but just that cus its nothing like =====D
*tell em get in line and kiss your ass MUAH!*
Submitted by saltydog88 on Mon, 02/07/2011 - 2:47pm.
I can still lick the tip of my dick, but haven't been able to get the whole head in my mouth since I was 16.
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And here I thought people grew out of the "just the tip" game as they got older.
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Oh and fuckay vous. - Ophelias evil twin
I can still lick the tip of my dick, but haven't been able to get the whole head in my mouth since I was 16.
?
Torso of the week? Slim pickings this week or did someone get his big cock and this is payback.
SWEET, I wanna see, there's no damn link of him doing it???? WHY? WHY? WHY????
There was a young man from Nantucket...
Dude's got a bad case of helmet hair.
Dirtywhoremouth
Filthybitch
Klutzy McFucktard
MaryJaneRottenCrotch
CakeCokeandCock
SuckandFuck
I mean, just the names alone could be "offensive comments". LOL
Well someone isn't gettin laid here....
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Fist Pump!
Keep your comment relevant to the post. Offensive comments may be deleted.
LOL
Submitted by FilthyBitch on Mon, 02/07/2011 - 1:26pm.
Do you think he finished?
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"Second of all, if I lived with a bunch of loud ass kids I'd drink a bottle of wine every night too. And then I'd use that bottle to smoke crack." - MK
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
Pft. Whatever.....
Submitted by FilthyBitch on Mon, 02/07/2011 - 1:26pm.
Only thing offensive is those nice big cocks aren't in my bedroom waiting for me.
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and, not a single fuck was given this day.
ABSOLUTELY NSFW!!!!!!!! AND DO NOT CLICK IF THE SUBJECT OF THIS POST OFFENDS YOU!
http://thewillpower.org/
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"I've got a strong stomach and no standards to speak of" - MK 2/5/11
Needless to say, I would. Oh yeah, I would.
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"God only gives you one balloonknot, be nice to it." - Raul Duke
Submitted by mike on Mon, 02/07/2011 - 1:06pm.
Also, "Torso of the Week"? At which retirement home did this competition take place?
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olllllllol
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
I've watched lots of bizarre porn and let me tell you the most disgusting one was a guy with a micro peen who gave himself a 10 sec blowjob and then swallowed.
The whole thing was absolutely depressing.
George Carlin said if he could do that he'd never leave the house.
He is fug as fuck. No thank you.
Big deal there's lots of mens on xtube that can do that.
I mean, that's what I heard. *looks around nervously*
I've told this story on here before but I knew a guy who could suck himself off (I saw it too). He didn't do it to "completion" though. He was on the shorter side and really skinny, and obviously very limber. We hookd up a few times and were wasted and he told me he could do it and of course I didn't believe him so he had to show me.
Submitted by LisaL on Mon, 02/07/2011 - 1:05pm.
The def NSFW blog photos looks weird. He has a big bulge, but when hard it looks average? That doesn't make any sense unless those are fake
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Very simple...he is a shower NOT a grower.
"I have your new dicks on my kitchen counter." Tammy Lynn
·...¸><((((º>·´¯`·. ¸.><((((º> .·´¯`·..·><((((º>
So cute! It looks like his big pee pee is takin'a nap!
♥ Threadkilla!
If there were in the world today any large number of people who desired their own happiness more than they desired the unhappiness of others, we could have paradise in a few years.~Bertrand Russell
Also, "Torso of the Week"? At which retirement home did this competition take place?
The def NSFW blog photos looks weird. He has a big bulge, but when hard it looks average? That doesn't make any sense unless those are fake.
Anywho.... you fucking crack me up MK!!
I'm sure if most guys could do that to themselves, they'd never leave the house.
Gross.
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Douchechill!
Gross.
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Douchechill!
Is he related to Sucky?
Coma Caca!
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anybody flexible enough can lick his own dick (provided he has more than 6 iches)...but get back to me when he can suck on a couple of inches by just bending forward...THAT would be newsworthy and I only saw it done live once.
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"I have your new dicks on my kitchen counter." Tammy Lynn
·...¸><((((º>·´¯`·. ¸.><((((º> .·´¯`·..·><((((º>
I dont think auto-fellatio sounds too hot, especially doing it for an audience, but I do love a big dick. Butter face or not.
Submitted by Dgrin on Mon, 02/07/2011 - 12:46pm.
I've got some better pics right here:
http://barbwirexsnap.blogspot.com/2010/04/jeff-brazier.html?zx=bcdd7ab44...
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Well where the fuck is it? Another disappointing monster cock claim. The bulge is great but where did the dick go?!?!?!?!?
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
DGRIN NSFW
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"Second of all, if I lived with a bunch of loud ass kids I'd drink a bottle of wine every night too. And then I'd use that bottle to smoke crack." - MK
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
I remember reading about him when Jade Goody was in trouble for her anti-Indian rants. I think they had two kids together and he was always described in the British press as a professional reality show contestant, a "TV presenter" which I assume meant he was famous for nothing and showed up like Tila Tequila at awards shows and things.
I keep checking TMZ to see if they issued an arrest warrant for Blohan....
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 02/07/2011 - 12:27pm.
whats the difference between this and you "ladies" sucking your own tits?
WE dont have to swallow when we're done.
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"Second of all, if I lived with a bunch of loud ass kids I'd drink a bottle of wine every night too. And then I'd use that bottle to smoke crack." - MK
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-