The Meaning Of Elegance Finally Has An Anthem
The Empress of Lucite is already the most beautiful goddess in the world, erotic cinema superstar, portrait of a doting mother, feminist beacon, Anna Wintour's personal style icon, every flower's inspiration, the only reason why the sun rises and now she can add musical chanteuse to her resume. TMZ posted a tiny clip of the musical masterpiece that will soon go triple Lucite, climb to the top of every chart and also help to spike sales in Valtrex ear drops. This is what it sounds like when doves ORGASM.
The window into elegant's soul (or the "music video" as some you non-worshipers might call it) is called "Everybody Wants to be a Porn Star" and co-stars a Playboy model named Anna Garcia. I'm not even trying to listen to you HATING BITCHES out there who are screaming that Shauna sounds like a baby Paris Hilton practicing her French while having a constipated moment on the toilet. YOU LIE. Shauna coos like a nightingale queefing and you can't tell me otherwise. This exquisite lullaby should replace every church bell and should also be played in all delivery rooms so that every newborn baby immediately knows that the world truly is a beautiful place.
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Submitted by ba-buttons on Mon, 02/07/2011 - 9:33am.
Sorry to bag on your post, but it pisses me up a wall whenever people say "I'd fuck her but not marry her".
Believe it or not, I'm sure that married women who like sex DO exist.
This is why I WON'T ever seek a relationship, because if a man says he "respects" you, it mostly means that he won't fuck you. Not that I don't have class, but my sex drive is too high to just mother some man for the rest of my life than be getting a lot of dick instead.
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"Look inside the executioner's hood,
I will show you his grimace!"
-Darzamat (Blackward)
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FIX TOPINWEB.COM, NOW!
*mouth agape* ...I can't decide whether I'm appalled or impressed...
~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♥~♦¤♦~♥~
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lnRDU4LdZE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t56s4dZ1_rs
WIGS EYES DO SHOW WHEN HER SLOT TALKS OR SOCK STOPS!! OKAY WOW!!
Still trying to wrap my brain around how little sense that clip made and the fact that I couldn't even tell real words were being spoken, nevertheless in "french"...
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Remember, the early bird may catch the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...
Lorenzo get your kids away from her ASAP!
Ok forget lifegaurd...a COWBOY...YES!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s05jcrJw0as&feature=related
LiLo's labia claps when she's wearing somebody else's crap.-MK
She might want to be a pornstar...at 40! *eyerolls*
Myself at 40...I want to be...a LIFEGUARD!
Beware this IS the worst 80s video EVER!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CBRJ6jQfap0&feature=related
LiLo's labia claps when she's wearing somebody else's crap.-MK
what is this i don't even
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Just hit the mute button or turn your ears into vaginas (aka fold them over each other). - MK
MY EARS!!! MY EARS!!! The pain! Whyyyyyy, god, whyyyyyyy?! Was there not enough evil in the world?
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Chickenfoot, come back! You're not a freak!
You're just stupid!
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Um, isn't she about 2 decades too late for this? Do people still listen to shit like this?
I'LL BUY IT! But I want 10 club/dance remixes too. It's fannytastic!
(kiss this)--------------------------->>> (_!_)
Submitted by boston61 on Mon, 02/07/2011 - 11:34am.
I guess we can blame Lorenzo Lamas and Renegade for that.
I actually listened to the whole 30 seconds... and I wish I hadn't. I hope it's geared to the Frenchm although people here love Katy Perry and Ke$ha so... nm
>headdesk<
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Have an open mind - but not so open that your brain falls out.
It takes a lot to make Ke$ha seem like Emmylou Harris in comparison, but Emps here has done just that. Her and RiRi should do a ho-off to find out who can make the sluttier video on behalf of our impressionable youth.
If this were my mother, I'd emancipate myself and move to a monastery in Liechtenstein. I'd need all the prayer I could get.
That autotuned warbling was neither singing nor French!
Submitted by christine the hoff on Mon, 02/07/2011 - 10:12am.
On top of everything else, aren't porn stars more like twenty then forty? pfffftt.
And I've seen her naked NOBODY should have to see that at any age.
LiLo's labia claps when she's wearing somebody else's crap.-MK
She really needs to keep her mouth as well as her legs shut for eternity.
You have to hand it to her. She has a lot of money fro someone who is doesn't feel the need to actually work. She could have easily ended up a street corner prostitute instead of a TV one.
.....My ears are bleeding and I think my eyes are on strike.
B!i!i!iD~
For your health.
Why? That's all I have to say.
--thanks awfully--
Thank God I can't listen to this at work.
Est-ce la merde vraiment en français?
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
It looks like she wanted to look especially classy for this video, so she made a special trip to get her lips (on her face) plumped up nice and fresh.
On top of everything else, aren't porn stars more like twenty then forty? pfffftt.
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and, not a single fuck was given this day.
"this is not a sex tape." Thanks for telling me up front. I'm out.
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"Second of all, if I lived with a bunch of loud ass kids I'd drink a bottle of wine every night too. And then I'd use that bottle to smoke crack." - MK
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
what the hell was that..its like she has tourettes
If I could speak in tongue, I would tell her what God thought of this...
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"I will re-name jackhat, PantyClaus." 12/16/10 BRADIFUL BITCH
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Mon, 02/07/2011 - 9:54am.
"The snark is lacking in me this morning. I think I used it all up during last nights stupor bowl."
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Word. Wasn't that an embarrassing shit-fest for all involved?
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"I am going to rock myself in a corner in my Slanket now." - Plecostomus
The snark is lacking in me this morning. I think I used it all up during last nights stupor bowl.
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"Second of all, if I lived with a bunch of loud ass kids I'd drink a bottle of wine every night too. And then I'd use that bottle to smoke crack." - MK
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
a porn-tress singing about wanting to be a porn star.
anybody can get a record deal as long as they suck the right cocks or come out of the right vagina.
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"I have your new dicks on my kitchen counter." Tammy Lynn
·...¸><((((º>·´¯`·. ¸.><((((º> .·´¯`·..·><((((º>
@suckandfuck...you should tell him to wear those jeans either a little lower or a little tighter...that might help you focus more....;p
♥ Threadkilla!
If there were in the world today any large number of people who desired their own happiness more than they desired the unhappiness of others, we could have paradise in a few years.~Bertrand Russell
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 02/07/2011 - 9:29am.
lolololllooll I concur.
where have you been, HOMO!?
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LURKING my supervisor tried to demote me and said that I needed to "focus more", how can I focus on my job when there's exquisite music like this out there??!?!?!?!??
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Please get the Post Office to this girl a Beverly Hill's zip code so Andy Cohen can have her replace Camille.
The most horrifying thing about her isn't this pathetic attempt to be paris hilton 2.0; it's her face. I keep remembering that frozen plastic face of hers in her sex film (which she was SO proud of; ugh); I can't look at her without thinking of that...
*runs off to do a quick brain enema*
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"I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don't like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa." - Brit's Tits
Paris Hilton - This is your future!
She truly is scarily stupid
When you watch the show you can see that she cannot sing a single note. They can make anyone sound good with the machines they have today. Anyone. The thing I don't get is why Candy. Who is a very accomplished songwriter wants to be associated with this. Anything to be on TV. Kim is entertaining. Everyone laughs at her. She is such a confident smoker.
She has a degree from American Univ in Paris. She's just saying dumb, sex-related terms in French: "make love," "hurry," "one acts like a whore," etc.
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"Puppy Bowl VII came to a standstill Sunday when Alvin, a 3-month-old schnauzer mix, suffered a freak spinal injury while chasing down a loose squeaky football."
My ears!my eyes!and the fact that this thing is a mother makes this shit scarier than that christian nightmare song MK posted a few days ago.
GENIUS! SOMEBODY GET THE GRAMMY's on LINE ONE!
♥ Threadkilla!
If there were in the world today any large number of people who desired their own happiness more than they desired the unhappiness of others, we could have paradise in a few years.~Bertrand Russell
Submitted by ba-buttons on Mon, 02/07/2011 - 9:33am.
I know I'm a pig but I think she's hot in that lucite stripper kind of way.
I agree with you. And, LMAO @ "terminal dick cancer"
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Douchechill!
Submitted by ba-buttons on Mon, 02/07/2011 - 9:33am.
She was smokin hot back in her Playboy days...
And I'd hit it with the lights ON!
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"I will re-name jackhat, PantyClaus." 12/16/10 BRADIFUL BITCH
I know I'm a pig but I think she's hot in that lucite stripper kind of way. Sleep with her? Sure. Marry her? Not if I had terminal dick cancer and a union with her was the only cure.
She was really hot when she posed in Playboy back in the day. Looks like a completely different person now. Won't be long before the daughters start working out their issues and blaze a trail in the porn world themselves.
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It is better to die on your feet than live on your knees.
Submitted by Spoiled on Mon, 02/07/2011 - 9:17am.
Wow, her 13, 11 and 10 year old daughters must be so proud. Maybe she can focus their attention on the fact that Mommy is bilingual?
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LOL, my first thought were her daughters. My second thought was surprise she's smart enough to speak french (not that you have to be smart to learn a second language but well, we're talking about HER). ;)
My third thought was do the french even like her?
lil ras - yes, and I agree!
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"I will re-name jackhat, PantyClaus." 12/16/10 BRADIFUL BITCH
paris hilton had a hit so nothing surprises me anymore.
*waiting for the world to end*
Was that in English?
so confused...
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 02/07/2011 - 9:18am.
She needs to stay off the screen with that saggy ass pussy of hers. That shit is blown. out.
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Jack, did you happen to watch her porn tape? Arghhhhh. It should've been named "Beef Curtains".
Did she just say "date ra-zape"????
At :23, I SWEAR that's what she says.
Submitted by suckandfuck on Mon, 02/07/2011 - 9:24am.
Moving. The music could stand on its own but then those wistful and remarkable lyrics just pour out of her so eloquently.
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lolololllooll I concur.
where have you been, HOMO!?
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"I will re-name jackhat, PantyClaus." 12/16/10 BRADIFUL BITCH
The Empress needs new clothes.