Friday, February 4th 2011

Looking Good, Jude, Looking Good

Dressed like he's about to do early morning Tai Chi in the park, Jude Law hung out with a couple of friends on the streets of London today. Not only does Jude look like he's about to stretch with the oldies, but he's also dressed exactly like my abuelita when she would take a casual walk up the neighbor's sloped driveway and "accidentally" fall against their avocado tree causing a few ripe fruits to fall into her plastic bag from Stater Bros. Sometimes the neighbor would catch her and she'd disappear into the shrubs separating our houses like one of the "mysterious creatures" in The Village or some shit.

And it's blasphemous to bring up my abuelita and bulges in the same blog breath, but where's Jude's? Unless it's long and flat like a lasagna noodle with a crimini mushroom tip, I doubt that thing in his pocket has ever touched Sienna Miller. I think.

Posted by: Michael K


ruby_lucite_slippers's picture

In the heirarchy of street bums, does box man come in between bag lady and supermarket trolly tramp?

Mrs Patrick Campbell's picture

Jude is ALL MAN - he fucks fish and makes them have babies!

(And Jude is welcome to sit on our face any time he wants)

Khensu Hetep's picture

Hey Mickey! I've missed you. I was away from D-Listed for a few weeks, actually, but it was for what I thought a pretty good reason, even though you and a lot of people here make me feel better.

Vidz: This guy was a total dick to me in high school, too. Now he's calling me at 4:30 in the morning to "go for a ride" with him alone in his car. Even though he's for whatever reason obsessed with me, he's still a major douche no matter how much he believes he's changed. He still only thinks about himself.

Golddigga: LOL! What the hell is a beetlenut anyway? That even sounds quite chilling.

"Look inside the executioner's hood,
I will show you his grimace!"
-Darzamat (Blackward)

FIX TOPINWEB.COM, NOW!

Nell's picture

He looks like the awkward kid in the movie, "About A Boy"

BabyJane's picture

Usually guys age pretty well. Jude hit the wall hard.

********************************************

I've written a letter to MK...saying...I...love...youuuuuu.

stake_spike's picture
joe shmoe's picture

I had to come back to look at this again. And all I can say is "Jude, are you trying to hurt me? Are you?"

All he needs to complete this ensemble from hell is a pair of lime green crocs and a walkman. *heavy sigh*
************
La belle dame sans regret

MickeyHolland's picture

@Khensu

Glad to have you back! I was worried about you, because as far as I could tell you were absent from this site for a couple of weeks. Either that, or you simply changed your online schedule(?).

------------------------------------------------

Who are you calling silly cow?

GreenFairy's picture

Wow what happend to this guy?
He used to be sooo sexy! He was sex on legs in 'Wilde' or 'The talented Mr Ripley'... now he looks like some homeless peepaw :-(

KidL's picture

Damn! Bitch could pass as Phil Collins here!

Fuck. He used to be so hot. Sienna Miller must have leeched all the good looks and sanity out of him.

*******************************************************************

"I'm like a tree, I feed the branches of the people." - Kanye West

vidz's picture

@khensu

It's weird when the object of our affection starts crushing back right? At 16, I totally had the hots for the cutest guy in school at 19 he ran into me at a 7-11 eleven near my house. Not as cute and a total loser to boot. Then he kept popping up when I was coming home at night and calling me late and inviting me to go up to his friends house with him, on my way home. Hmpf... as if.

********************************************************

Submitted by WTFOMGLOL on Wed, 12/08/2010 - 10:29am.

My ovaries just exploded.

"They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults the

Mabel Hodges's picture

So, hittable in both ways, eh?

TOPANGA's picture

Jude Law reminds me of my obnoxious Russian ex boyfriend...and that fact alone makes me want to hump him and then repeatedly punch him in the face. Carry on.

"No One Makes Me Bleed My Own Blood!"

Mabel Hodges's picture

I thought I didn't like Jude that much until I watched him on Netflix/Saturday Night Live, and as every character he was virtually unnrecognizable. As stupid as it sounds, he is a brilliant actor. And hittable. Totally.

Goldigga's picture

Submitted by Khensu Hetep on Sat, 02/05/2011 - 4:43am.
He looks like the guy who's currently stalking me, except Jude Law still has teeth and doesn't smell like fungus. Maybe. I'm not too sure about that, so don't quote me.

Ugh, sounds like a keeper ;) Mine chews beetlenuts which turn his teeth black *shudders*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That big ten-head must give you lots of brain room, huh, Goldigga - Submitted by Vern on Mon, 10/04/2010 - 9:14am

sybil's picture

wow...the coolness is all gone! and "glow in the dark" shoelaces? my, how the mighty have fallen!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

"Michael K is Nahla's baby daddy"-Halle Berry

Khensu Hetep's picture

Submitted by vidz on Sat, 02/05/2011 - 5:10am.

No congratulations. :(

I used to have a crush on the dude a few years ago. I have no idea why, in retrospect. He thinks he's a mysterious vampire guy who only leaves the house at night. Winnar is him.

"Look inside the executioner's hood,
I will show you his grimace!"
-Darzamat (Blackward)

FIX TOPINWEB.COM, NOW!

vidz's picture

Submitted by Khensu Hetep on Sat, 02/05/2011 - 4:43am.

He looks like the guy who's currently stalking me, except Jude Law still has teeth and doesn't smell like fungus.

Congratulations on your first stalker! We knew you'd get there. Now if only there was a relevant e-card I could send you.

Oh Jude, why you gotta be like that?

********************************************************

Submitted by WTFOMGLOL on Wed, 12/08/2010 - 10:29am.

My ovaries just exploded.

"They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults the

Khensu Hetep's picture

He looks like the guy who's currently stalking me, except Jude Law still has teeth and doesn't smell like fungus. Maybe. I'm not too sure about that, so don't quote me.

"Look inside the executioner's hood,
I will show you his grimace!"
-Darzamat (Blackward)

FIX TOPINWEB.COM, NOW!

stake_spike's picture

Wow I can't believe I ever thought he was hot ("Alfie" days). He went from making 4 movies a year, fucked that Nanny and now he's known as the balding cad who can't dress himself.

iHeartHaters's picture

First time I've ever seen a zippered fly on sweatpants.

~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♥~♦¤♦~♥~
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lnRDU4LdZE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t56s4dZ1_rs

WIGS EYES DO SHOW WHEN HER SLOT TALKS OR SOCK STOPS!! OKAY WOW!!

Whatever's picture

He is a total douche. He also totally looks like one.

aoiejra's picture

Bravo, Jude. Good ensemble decision. Run over here whenever.

http://twitter.com/Lazidaisical
http://mylifeasalollygagger.blogspot.com

Callie's picture

Submitted by Starqz on Sat, 02/05/2011 - 1:18am.
Good lord, and I thought I was the only person who kept getting told Access Denied earlier today. I thought someone had blocked me from this site, lol, just technical difficulties.:)

_________________________

It was kind of funny (not really) because in another thread they were just talking about how Dlisted never bans anyone anymore and then I had my "access denied." Maybe it was an MK joke.

MickeyHolland's picture

It's amazing how all roads lead to MK's abuelita. I would love to meet her, because she sounds like a lot of fun. God, how I miss my granny. Ninety-five was way too young.

----------------------------------------------------------

Who are you calling silly cow?

Good lord, and I thought I was the only person who kept getting told Access Denied earlier today. I thought someone had blocked me from this site, lol, just technical difficulties.:)

He is a dead-ringer for Phamously Phug Phil Collins!

Btw I had to wrestle w/log-in for a good 5 minutes telling me I was not allowed access to Dlisted

I can't remember a time I've been more a-scared

Really.

What would you have to do to be banned from D-Listed? I could not FATHOM! Nor did I want to. Nor did I care to conjure what I possibly could have said to BE banned.

Luckily it was just a glitch

God Bless MK and his full-on acceptance of us freaks

Even if it is just for good hard ca$h =)

LOL

Centaurious's picture

Haha, Sting, I second that!

_________________________________
"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." ~Marjorie Ingall

Snideychick sez:

I can never think of anything for these Caption This posts.

guest's picture

He's reminding of Sting for some reason. Not a compliment.

"not so fast tom ryan..."

cliffdweller's picture

Submitted by joe shmoe on Fri, 02/04/2011 - 7:10pm.

*chuckles*
Must have been laundry day and a roll of quarters in the pocket.

Submitted by Callie on Fri, 02/04/2011 - 7:03pm.
He was hot as the sex robot in "AI." It was pretty much typecasting.

_________________________________

He was SOOOOOOO hot in that movie !!!

He's runty looking. he has Matthew mcConaughey T rex arms (I cannot see short arms now without thinking that, thanks MK!) and short legs. His legs are gross in shorts.

Dressed for doing tai chi in the park, Jesus Christ. So funny.

Crystal Lynn's picture

Closer is one of my favorite Jude movies.

I could be fucked alone with Jude's voice...it is so hot (I think), might do more than the lack of dick in the sweatpants.

Submitted by Callie on Fri, 02/04/2011 - 7:03pm.

He was hot as the sex robot in "AI." It was pretty much typecasting.

heehee. I liked him in that generally horrid "The Holiday" with Cameron Diaz, Jack Black, Kate Winslet, etc. He played someone whom you expected to be a cad but wasn't.

Highly overrated.

joe shmoe's picture

Submitted by cliffdweller on Fri, 02/04/2011 - 7:08pm.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Fri, 02/04/2011 - 7:03pm.

I think you were focusing on his left kneecap...
***********
Ahaha..at least the fabric over his kneecaps is stretched out, implying..err..something under the fabric to stretch said fabric out.

************
Elle a grandi en garçon bien éduqué

cliffdweller's picture

Submitted by joe shmoe on Fri, 02/04/2011 - 7:03pm.

I think you were focusing on his left kneecap...

joe shmoe's picture

Submitted by mcnightmare on Fri, 02/04/2011 - 7:02pm.
oh my god, i wore that to Walgreen's this morning, and while i was deforsting my freezer...
*********
Tee hee, McNightmare, I read that as "deforesting my freezer"

************
Elle a grandi en garçon bien éduqué

Callie's picture

He was hot as the sex robot in "AI." It was pretty much typecasting.

joe shmoe's picture

*applying magnifying glass to monitor*..hmmm..there is a tiny little bulge there.

************
Elle a grandi en garçon bien éduqué

oh my god, i wore that to Walgreen's this morning, and while i was deforsting my freezer...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Come Back As A Flower: Songs of Stevie Wonder" - w/Mimi Fox, Akira Tana and more - name-your-price download at http://tiny.cc/u5fa8

joe shmoe's picture

Submitted by Crystal Lynn on Fri, 02/04/2011 - 6:48pm.

Anyway, he must not be packing anything. Anytime Im at the gym and see a guy in gray pants/sweatpants, you can always see SOMETHING. A small thumb or a banana, gray is not forgiving that way. Jude, I hope you're a major grower.
*********
HAHAA.

************
Elle a grandi en garçon bien éduqué

Cara's picture

"Submitted by Crystal Lynn on Fri, 02/04/2011 - 6:48pm.
I still would with Jude. That Repo Men movie with him in those skinhead looking oxfords buttoned up to the neck really did it for me."
----------

I agree. While he was adorably cute back in the Talented Mr. Ripley days, I liked the harder/tougher looking Jude in that film. But yeah, here, not so much.

I have never seen sweat pants with a zipper.

I saw Repo Men the other night. OMG! That movie was sooooooooo bad! I hated the chick in it too. She bugged the hell out of me with her awful acting and fug face.

The hatted guy with the man-bag is a hipster doofus, too. I saw a guy just like him walking his dog in the park; he had on those Vibram FiveFingers "shoes" with toes.

swarm-of-locusts's picture

Jude Law appears to be a celebrity whose attractiveness had a shelf life (e.g. all of the Baldwin Brothers).

MaryJaneRottencrotch's picture

Yikes, that looks like an outfit my grandfather would have worn.

Crystal Lynn's picture

I still would with Jude. That Repo Men movie with him in those skinhead looking oxfords buttoned up to the neck really did it for me.

Anyway, he must not be packing anything. Anytime Im at the gym and see a guy in gray pants/sweatpants, you can always see SOMETHING. A small thumb or a banana, gray is not forgiving that way. Jude, I hope you're a major grower.