Natalie Portman Is Really, Really Pregnant
Here's the future mother of a future multiple Nobel Peace Prize winner just strolling in L.A. this afternoon. Since I've obviously got a PhD in baby bumps and pregnancy shit, I've already gone in to detail about how Natalie Portman is a serious kind of knocked up for only being around 4 months. But hos are still saying that they need to see the receipts, because they think Natalie is pulling some Phaedra Parks shit. Natalie is basically the size of Thumbelina's left nipple so ho would look pregnant if she swallowed a bubble.
When Natalie gives birth in the middle of a Walmart, we'll ask her new baby how long he or she was in there for because you know he or she is going to speak perfectly before their first fart. Although, Natalie's baby will probably only speak archaic Latin at first, so we should study up.
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Submitted by Condi the ingro... on Fri, 02/04/2011 - 4:11pm.
Wow, such vitriol heaped upon poor Natalie, all because she really ISN'T like Novalee Nation in real life. Sorry, America - it isn't a crime for a woman to be pretty, little, educated and Jewish.
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I don't think that's why everyone is mad. I think it's because she's a homewrecker. And now it appears she got pregnant by him BEFORE he left his live-in girlfriend. Meh. I guess they deserve each other.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
Wow, such vitriol heaped upon poor Natalie, all because she really ISN'T like Novalee Nation in real life. Sorry, America - it isn't a crime for a woman to be pretty, little, educated and Jewish. Sorry she won't give birth in WalMart, but there you are.
"When Natalie gives birth in the middle of a Walmart"
aw that's the last movie I liked Natalie in. She was so sweet and nice. Then she became an "I'm better than you" bitch. I guess Harvard has that effect on people,
Yeah she could be 5-6 months along, could be later - and carrying low. I'm guessing it's a baby boy and she'll mysteriously give birth to him in a couple of months.
Maybe she's having more than one?? She seems really scared to me about having a baby so maybe it is more than one. I'm not sure she feels ready to be a mom but I think she will be wonderful at it.
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I Love You More
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its bruce bitch...First baby...this gal is seven months...that's when it comes out with first babies....
No way she is 4 months pregnant. She must be at least 6 month or so. Come on. By the way she looks like a bum.
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"Charlie you fucking bitch, let's work it out" - High Fidelity
I'm 5 months and about that size and nobody can believe I'm only 5 months along. I, like Natalie, am short and on the thin side, so I started showing a bit at 10 weeks and needed maternity clothes by about 13 weeks. I fear what I will look like at the end.
Edit to say I'm 23 weeks specifically...
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"Hooooooty who give an eff about Haiti?! I don't! BAM!" - MK as Taylor Momsen
She probably waited a few months to tell the press. A few months ago, before she announced it, she looked to have gained some weight, but there had been no speculation yet.
Submitted by celialove on Fri, 02/04/2011 - 1:00am.
Men lie, women lie, but fetuses don't lie. Why the fuck are we being tortured by having to look at this baby beluga ass skank. I don't know if I can handle 3 more months of looking at this shit. Pregnancy, BIG FUCKING DEAL. It's disgusting just like her arms and ankles. And I don't give a shit how this bitch drops this load or if it breast feeds!
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HA HA MY FAVE POST OF THE DAY! LOL
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"I truly believe that I was born to be a dumb grouchy stoner slut, and I am slowly becoming a bigger one each and every day, so thank you."MK
"WE ATE POSICLES BITCH LAY OFF!!" Jacko
There is NO FUCKING WAY she is 4 months. She is at LEAST 24-26 weeks.
In order to have that big of a belly, her uterus would have to extend past her belly button, which it does not do until the 24th week mark.
LIE TELLER!
This chick has always come off as homely and boring to me. And she also seems like a bit of a ditz...book smart, but not common sense smart. Hence her dorky accptance speeches and the getting knocked up by a dancer, who will now be set for life thanks to her.
"No One Makes Me Bleed My Own Blood!"
Don't think she's faking it, but I'm really not looking forward to the inevitable sanctimoniousness when she finally pops that kid out. Oh and I give her and Millepeen one year, tops.
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"I'm like a tree, I feed the branches of the people." - Kanye West
24 weeks and not a second less.
at 4 months with my first I was wide as a white whale
How far along is she supposed to be? I'm 6 months, and she's about the same size as me.
She won't go into hiding. These girls are so proud of their bumps. And once their special DNA bundles are born they do not want the child or the child's many nannies out of their sites. Kind of like Halle Berry.
that baby is ridin LOW... nice to see her breastisis developing. NOM!
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"I will re-name jackhat, PantyClaus." 12/16/10 BRADIFUL BITCH
I like the idea of it being Ashton's.
Here's the future mother of a future multiple Nobel Peace Prize winner
Not as impressive as it once was.
This baby is Ashton Kutcher's or Vincent Cassel's.
Oh look. A pregnant woman. And this is news why?
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Grow your own dope: plant a man.
Submitted by CranberryAppleGirl on Fri, 02/04/2011 - 7:28am.
The homewrecker's guide to marriage usually involves getting knocked up soon after homewrecker realizes that she wants the guy for more than just a fling.
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Natalie must have a degree from the Angelina Jolie University of Homewrecking then.
Submitted by Paige123 on Fri, 02/04/2011 - 6:53am.
I bet she is going to name her kid a SUPER snobby and pretentious name.
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Ascot Worthington Portman!
It aint' only the tiny people who look huge during pregnancy. I'm 5'6" and size 8, basically across the board size "M". I was gigantic very early on. I didn't use it as a license to eat. Pregnancy just DOES THAT.
But besides that, her acting IS pretty abysmal. She was edgy and vulnerable as a 12-year-old in Assassin, or whatever the hell that was, but cringe-inducing as Queen Amadala. I don't get why people give a fart that she went to Harvard. This is what the media put David Duchovny through and he came out looking like a total prick. Sounds like this chick isbetter at getting good grades than acting, but then she's got rich, stable parents, so why not?
So what! Who cares?!
The homewrecker's guide to marriage usually involves getting knocked up soon after homewrecker realizes that she wants the guy for more than just a fling. Regardless of whether or not Portman is lying about how far along she is in her pregnancy, I suspect that she was having an affair with this guy long before he officially broke it off with his ex-fiance. So I say she is lying about the timeline in which she began dating her baby daddy.
I am not an expert at pregnancy matters, so I don't know for sure whether or not Portman is lying about her pregnancy. I don't see the benefits of lying at this point. She has a lot of movies coming out in 2011 and will be forced to make appearances. It's not like she can pull a Katie Holmes and go into seclusion until the end of the year.
she does look like she's alot further along than 4 months...
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i lift things up and put them down...
So pretentious
I wonder if she has friends.
call me Really for short
I say 23 or 24 weeks and def a boy. I had that belly myself, 17 years ago!
HOMEWRECKER!!!!
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"I'm not doing shit to him, but fucking and having my career" ~ Montana Fishburn 2010
I bet she is going to name her kid a SUPER snobby and pretentious name.
I give Natalie about 5 month belly. She shaved about a month but that belly from my experience has to be going into its 24 week soon.
I agree it looks like a boy belly too! My bet that he will come in at least 8 lbs easily!
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
She seems extremely self-conscious at a time where first moms-to-be are usually glowing and ridiculously elated about being pregnant (I know, I was one of them.) Trying to hide the timeline would be a reason.
I have the same aversion to her that others do. I think it's the combination of perfection and blandness. She's probably the blind item who has a reputation for being the good, wholesome girl but is really a skank. You can't win, eh?
Oh how I despise the dirty swine that got my fair Princess Portman up the duff.
--thanks awfully--
That there is a girlfriend knocked up!! I love Natalie, but she can't be 4 months prego. This really is an attempt to cover-up for some fast and loose living in the last year.
Submitted by Hotmami on Thu, 02/03/2011 - 11:01pm.
Ugh. Natalie thinks that fudging the age is going to make us all forget that she started dating this dude while he was already dating someone else, and was probably knocked up within three months.
Hollywood seems to have forgotten.
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AND that this is the is what?.. the third or fourth time she has seduced spoken for/married men.
I just don't get it. I guess she is cute and yeah, educated. But I still don't get it.
I have always loathed her for various reasons, not the least of which is that she is a terrible actress. She sucked so much in V for Vendetta, with her trademark hyperventilation-crying. I dunno what they were thinking casting her opposite the amazing Hugo Weaving, who acted circles around her without the use of his facial expressions even. I guess we were supposed to be impressed with the "bold move" of agreeing to shave her head but I'm sorry Miss Thing, I'm not buying what you're selling. (FYI the least reason why I loathe her is because she looks exactly like this childhood friend of mine who went away to college in Tennessee and came back a born-again Baptist with a twang who dresses her four children in matching outfits and has a blog in where all she talks about is THE LORD - yes, it's always in caps - her kids and her "GODLY husband" - barf.) Don't even get me started on that Star Wars crap. DREADFUL!
Black Swan was a fun movie. She sucked in it, but it was still fun. It was NOT, however, an Oscar-worthy movie in my opinion, and certainly not based on her performance. So I'm getting weary of seeing her smug face all over the place, especially now that we know that this "smarty pants" is a man-stealing scrag. Sounds like she got herself knocked up right off the bat with an otherwise involved man and now thinks it's a wise idea to marry the asshole. Sounds pretty dumb to me!
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Have an open mind - but not so open that your brain falls out.
I never looked this big at 9 mos. but being 5'9" and training for the LA Marathon throughout pregnancy prob had something to do with it.
I looked exactly like this when I was four months pregnant. People constantly asked me if it wasn't time for maternity leave and when exactly the twins were due. Imagine what I looked like five months later, and then my already stubborn in uterus little girl decided to prolong the agony for nearly two extra weeks. In the end, I couldn't walk anymore. At seven months I turned in bed once, and my insides litteraly got tied in a knot under the weight, so I ended up in the hospital. Post-pregnancy I walked with a limp for months, which is pretty frustrating when you are used to running 6 miles a day.
In short: I totally believe that Portman can be only four months along. She's not a natural petite, but one of those who has kept herself slightly underweight for years. A recipe for ballooning up during pregnancy. That, and being challenged in the gene department.
Who are you calling silly cow?
Men lie, women lie, but fetuses don't lie. Why the fuck are we being tortured by having to look at this baby beluga ass skank. I don't know if I can handle 3 more months of looking at this shit. Pregnancy, BIG FUCKING DEAL. It's disgusting just like her arms and ankles. And I don't give a shit how this bitch drops this load or if it breast feeds!
If she really is early in her pregnancy her belly is going to be freaky huge. Can you imagine the stretch marks? Yikes.
Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 02/03/2011 - 11:58pm.
Submitted by agirl on Thu, 02/03/2011 - 11:53pm.
OT - DListed is a-changing! I am liking some of these new features, but why can we no longer click on the thumbnails to enlarge?
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Ummm....isn't that the only new feature?
I'm not loving it, that's fersure.
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It also tells you how many NEW comments have been posted since the last time you checked (which was 60 seconds ago, for me lol) and you can now change the size of the comments box as you're typing. Thass new, right? Or at least I never noticed it before.
DListed is gettin' ever so slightly more fancy!
Submitted by agirl on Thu, 02/03/2011 - 11:53pm.
DListed is a-changing! I am liking some of these new features, but why can we no longer click on the thumbnails to enlarge?
His server is messed up--been that way since last night. It's a rule that every new network shall crash within 72 hours after going online.
How 'bout Rivers Cuomo at Harvard? Though he supposably got in before becoming famous. The Ivies like to have a few celebs, to stand out, to make alumni and parental functions more fun.
I dont care how petite she is, there is no way she is only 4 months along. The average size of a 4 month old fetus would be 5 inches long and weigh 5 ounces, I just doubt she would be that big around something so small with a first pregnancy. Definitely at least 6 months, maybe even more.
Well, *technically*, she could be 19w6d pregnant and be 4 months ;) I'm a size 2 and have had 4 kids. I looked like her at 4/5 months; I never gained over 25 pounds and my babies were smaller-average. I just have a really short torso and there wasn't anywhere for those babies to go but OUT-lol. I have to think she's smarter than Phaedra and knows people won't fall for "2 months premature but totally healthy and fully developed" crap.
Submitted by CeeCee on Thu, 02/03/2011 - 11:11pm
same here, my first pregnancy, I got so huge the first 4 months, all the "wise wives" told me I was carrying twins, it was massive.
granted, I was a size 3 and gained 25 pounds, so of course it looked like I was about to drop, but then I slowed growing for the remainder, so I looked normal again.
she very well could be just that far along.
Submitted by agirl on Thu, 02/03/2011 - 11:53pm.
OT - DListed is a-changing! I am liking some of these new features, but why can we no longer click on the thumbnails to enlarge?
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Ummm....isn't that the only new feature?
I'm not loving it, that's fersure.
♥ Threadkilla!
Lack of money is the root of all evil. ~George Bernard Shaw
HUFFY BARFDAY, DLISTED!!!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7iRV7boog0
Another fake pregnancy? YAWN!
Submitted by bambam on Thu, 02/03/2011 - 11:53pm.
Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 02/03/2011 - 11:46pm.
OMFG WHO CARES?!?!?
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Oh you're so jaded you little you you...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=705LEH3j2g0&feature=related
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Finally! Something INTERESTING to look at! Thank you:)
♥ Threadkilla!
Lack of money is the root of all evil. ~George Bernard Shaw
HUFFY BARFDAY, DLISTED!!!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7iRV7boog0
Submitted by CranberryAppleGirl on Thu, 02/03/2011 - 11:21pm.
I agree that she is not the genius everyone claims. She seems fairly intelligent but a lot of normal people are just as smart or smarter. If you're a celeb and you stay in school and not fuck yourself up on drugs and alcohol, it is fairly easy to get into the Ivy League. Look at James Franco, Julia Stiles, Joseph Gordon Levitt, Claire Danes, Emma Watson (granted I think she is the smartest of this list and tries to be a normal student), Jordana Brewster, etc. I hear most of these celebs rarely even show up to class. They get in due to their fame, money, and connections. Without the star factor, most of these people would have never had a chance competing with the real geniuses who apply each year with perfect grades, SAT scores, and extra-curricular activities. This baby is going to have every privilege in the world to attend the best schools and travel the world, but that does not mean he or she will be a genius
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TRUE FACTS. Also, Brooke Shields went to Princeton, which agreed to accept her before she applied (which is why she 'chose' that school). It is good publicity for the schools to have celebs attending and they are likely to get big bux too, 'cause these folks is rich.
OT - DListed is a-changing! I am liking some of these new features, but why can we no longer click on the thumbnails to enlarge?